My feelings are so extremely up and down these days. One day I am so hopeful and excited about the move... what God has for us in this new place we are moving. Then the next, I am sad and tearful...thinking about missing many things here and many wonderful people God has brought into our path. I am constantly reminding myself that none of this is about me or what I feel. It is all about putting God FIRST above friends and even family. We must follow God as a couple and as a family unit in service. Everything we own and do is not our own, it all belongs to Jesus.
Right now the sadness and grief is to be expected for a little while, because I am grieving the loss of our home, our supportive homeschool group in Greenville, our loving church family. I know things will get a little better. I know these are all THINGS, but what I will miss MOST are the relationships we have built here. We were in a 'safe' place to be and grow. Pastors Tad and Treva, Pastor Brian and Tara, Pastor Sarge and her Smelling Salts Ministry, and Pastors Brian and Hannah, Ms. Diane...our elders and leaders, made it safe haven for us all. They loved us where we were at, and lovingly, gently, patiently led us to the healing living water.
I did do much better at church this Sunday than I thought; Kept my mind as stayed on God and in an attitude of prayer as much as possible, and asked Him to help me get thru it. There is nothing I can do without the Lord helping me.
During praise and worship I got a little emotional, but as I released it I could feel the Holy Spirit really take over and HIS presence to strong and powerful. The More I Seek You is a special song to me. It was a song given to me by a friend, Charlotte, after a Women's Encounter I attended last November. During that Women's Encounter is when the Lord completely healed me of Fibromyalgia. I wasn't even praying about being healed...after so many years....God took it away when Pastor Tara prayed with me over totally different things. God is full of unexpected surprises. I did not expect that I was going to be singing that song through the first time alone on Sunday, but God gave me the strength to do it. I enjoyed worshipping with the youth band, and as always enjoyed singing with Pastor Treva. I'm going to miss her, and our beautiful worshippers...band and vocals, and choir so much. They all have such hearts to be unified in worship, and not just be up there to sing or play instruments. It makes for such a sweet spirit and presence of the Lord. Even our practice times are worship. :) I will miss this so much.
We had a beautiful service Sunday. The moving of the Holy Spirit among the people in corporate worship was sweet and precious. Pastor Tad's message was so timely (regarding Surrender...hmmm - God you sure know what you are doing!)
David was commissioned and sent out by our church for chaplaincy, and we were sent out as a family as servants of God. He was ordained under the non denominational EFI - Evangel Fellowship International. We are excited to have this covering, and to still be connected with Harvest Church too. Who knows what God is up to. The children and I were up front with David and we were prayed for as a family. The Pastors, elders and leaders of our church prayed over us and they blessed our family. A word from the Lord given through one of the elders and was spoken over us... that today was a new day, and we were walking in a new way. I wish I could remember every word....may need to get a copy of that service sometime. Basically, all of the old is passed away, all of the pain and mistakes of the past, and we are moving forward in a newness with the Lord. It was so touching, and I personally felt hopeful, so 'covered' under the Almighty wing of God as they prayed and as this word was brought forth. God seems to be confirming this everywhere I listen and look. Especially by His word.
About the move...
We are making great progress with sifting out more things we can 'let go of'. Thankfully I am not the kind of person who replaces everything we have let go of in the past. Unless it is something we needed, I'm learning to 'let things go' even cards and sentimental items. There are a few things I needed to keep though. They were just too special. We took 6 boxes to Goodwill. That was just items from our garage. Today I'm going to tackle Josh's room. Jordan has cleaned out her room pretty good. She reminds me of my sister Beth so much!!! She does NOT get sentimentally attached to much, and is good at not holding on to things. I mean, I had to actually talk her into keeping SOME things she wanted to get rid of! Her room is pretty much down to bare minimum. Josh on the other hand, is a little more like David and myself. He gets a little more sentimental about things. His room will be a challenge. He has a LOT of little things. We've let go of a LOT the last 3 moves. He even let go of some things he had held to that were hard for him to let go of...things he had collected. God is sifting us again.
I want to continue to live as simply as possible. In my heart, I do not believe this is going to be our last and final move.
So far, the plan is for the movers to come on the 13th to begin packing us up. They will load the truck and if they can't get it all done on the 13th, they will finish up on the 14th. Then they will store our belongings until Mon. the 17th. The 17th is our 'official' move in date to our new location.
I know it is going to get so chaotic next week. There are some plans I've been able to make with a few friends, but if I miss getting to see you I am sorry. Any of you are invited to stop by (I may put you to work...haha ...just kidding) We will be here for the most part...just call to make sure we are here. We'd love to see you. Keep in mind, there is no telling what 'state' you will find us in...pajamas, stinking, messy hair, tearful, happy, smelling good, put together....you could get any of these or between the four of us all of these at the same time! So enter at your own risk, and you are always welcome friends.
Time to get back at it!