People want to know why I am not doing 'official photography' anymore. Well, it may not make sense to others, but the Lord actually spoke to me to put it down for awhile. Part of it is that God has been working out a lot of PRIDE in my life! STILL IS!
Also, during the time of my husband's unemployment, I needed to sell the camera bodies to help pay the bills. Photography was not a 'steady' income. It was mainly a ministry for me and then I made a little money. BUT, I allowed myself to get so sidetracked and consumed with it to the point where it became a vanity thing that I 'lived for'. It was expensive to be able to get the update equipment that I really needed, consumed a LOT of time away from my family, and I did not see this as a 'full time job' venture to begin with.
I found myself so obsessing over it...like I do over so many things and people in my life. God is leading me to OBSESS in HIM alone! Why is it so easy to get sidetracked? I need those blinders like you put on the sides of horses to keep them on the straight path! Lord, keep me on your path, in this moment.
For now, I'm living in 'the moment'. Not thinking too much ahead, not letting go of the God Dreams, holding to hope of the vision, but learning to TRUST His ways. Allowing God to 'fill the holes in my heart'. Which reminds me of these songs I used to love back in the 80's. So here is a christian music throwback. ;)
So, I laid the photography down for awhile, and other things too. It means something between GOD and ME, and that is all that matters! Focusing on what I NEED, my relationship with the Lord, and what MY FAMILY NEEDS. Worrying less what other people think of me, and less of what THEY expect of me. Being used where GOD leads me, not where I allow people into GUILT-ING me into. Trying also not to put those kinds of pressures on people around me either. When we expect a lot from ourselves, we tend to expect just as much, if not MORE from those around us too!
God may have me pick the photography back up again, or invest in the better equipment so I can be ready if God wants to use me. I have done some small shoots here and there using other's equipment, ONLY as the Holy Spirit has led me to do. There are a few 'portrait' promises that I had made for two close friends in ministry that I will hold to if at all possible when those times come, and they are each ready to do their shoots (and those two ladies each know who they are). ONLY portrait shoots! Nothing major, and I can rent the equipment needed for those.
There are times I do miss it...mainly the 'people' that God brought into my path through it. I had the most wonderful conversation with a friend of mine from eastern NC yesterday via Skype. She and her family were one of the first families I photographed, and she shared with me how much it was a blessing from God to have those photos we took together. She is so sweet and encouraging of me. I'm loving that she is pursuing photography, and she is going to be GREAT! She has an amazing creative eye, and such a sweet and humble spirit of the Lord. I'm praying for you girl and that God will direct your path in this new venture!
I do believe we are to use our gifts and talents, all of them, for the glory of God. There is a fine line in the 'balance...being sure it is something GOD wants. For me personally.... so many years I've lived my life from such a place of feeling guilty about everything I do, so it is difficult sometimes for me to KNOW if it is something I am supposed to be doing.
There is this place in my heart for music and worship through song, that God is using, and will continue to use... all of this creativity and music in my heart is from God, and will be used for God's glory. Only pray that God do it HIS way. Sometimes it means being willing to lay it down.
I'm sure it is all 'part' of whatever God's plan is for me to do.
Right now, our family has been through so many transitions, it was such a God thing that I had surrendered the photography for a season. God blessed us in ways that He would not have been able to do if I hadn't. Romans 8:28
When I need a little creative fix, I snap some shots with my instagram. ;)
So here are a few of my favorite things. :) Some fun snaps I did, and share them here so family and friends who don't have facebook can keep up with us and see our faces.
Beautiful DD:
And..........
Our boy got a haircut.......
Before.......
AFTER - He loves it and so do we!!!!......
AND I still want to share with you all about SUNDAY! My bum is tired from sitting at this desk, and I'll write more later....
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