Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Heart Language

Every Christian has their own personal relationship with Jesus. He IS the christian's BEST friend! :))) If we allow Him to be, He is truly our EVERYTHING!

Christians have their own personal way of communicating with the Lord...journaling, intercessory prayer, being still and quite, praying in tongues, dancing in the spirit, talking with him as if He is right there with us (after all, HE IS right there with us).

All of these ways of communicating our love to the Lord.

Most importantly, being in the word of God draws us nearer to Him, because HE IS the word. This is the most important thing we can do as christians. Stay in God's Holy word.

I am in the word of God regularly, and in prayer regularly. I've journaled in the past. However, my deepest communication with God...my "heart" language to the Lord...especially during times when I don't even know how to pray or what to pray, is through worship and praise in song.

The Bible talks about how praise drives out the enemy. It changes the atmosphere! I turn on a praise song, or even get on my keyboard and play something that makes no sense to anyone else (keep in mind I have my headphones on. haha). Yet, it is my beautiful praise and cries to the Lord from the inner most places of my heart and emotions. I'm changed from who I was before sitting down at the keyboard. My mood may be very sad and grieving, but after my time of praise I'm so uplifted by the Lord! The presence of the Holy Spirit is so real during those times alone with God, and brings peace and clarity.

Why am I surprised? Most of the worship songs ARE scriptures made into songs. :) Pretty awesome!

Since I was a little girl, the Lord has called me into praise and worship through song. When I was as young as 6-7 yrs old, I would walk the streets of our neighborhood making up song to God, and singing them to Him. Since I was a little girl, I've also had this desire to learn piano.

For YEARS I've wrestled with the Lord concerning my calling. Saying to Him things like, "you don't want me, I'm not good enough, not smart enough...can't even read music! When I try to learn the music, it is like a jumbled mess and I end up picking it out by ear because I become so frustrated that my brain won't process it!

I've run from the responsibility of this calling for years. Seriously, it took me 10yrs (in my 20's) of being in choir before being brave enough to sing a solo, or even in a small ensemble. When it gets too difficult, I walk away from it all together. Sometimes for months, or years. Yet, God always brings it back to me.

I remember trying out at Mountain Grove Church, and how scared I was. At that time I had two children, and had been singing for several yrs at the previous church we had attended for almost 8 yrs. This was the first time I ever had to "try out".

God moved us to Mountain Grove as "stepping stones" for our family in ministry. The song I sang was "God Loves You". I sang it, walked off the stage, and said to God..."Ok, I did it, it is up to You if I make it because honestly...I think I did a TERRIBLE job!". Well, I not only made it, but the music minister asked me to sing for one of the first services to kick off our church's discipleship classes. It was a PACKED HOUSE that Wed night! Whew!! If that isn't God, I don't know what is!!! Only by HIS strength!! I know some of you out there know what I mean.

God places these huge callings, that we do not feel equipped at all to do, and it is a bit frightening when we are standing in the midst of a challenge that is wayyyyy bigger than ourselves!! That is how HE gets the glory though!

I'm getting pretty old now...42, and God keeps speaking to me in these past few weeks that NOW is the appointed time!! I'm hearing Him because I am diligently in HIS word, and truly believe it is time to quite living in fear, and quit playing games with God. He has been way patient with me!!!

It's like Moses, and so many in the Bible who did not feel adequate to be the mouthpiece of God. However, it is time for me to let go of all of the reasons why I can't do this. To quit walking in my old wounded ways. To get my heart right and rid of bitterness. To rid myself of anything that binds me and keeps me from my true calling. To rid myself of past mistakes and failures. To MOST of all, completely surrender to what God has for me in this calling. To be diligent to continue to "study to show myself approved", and not give up or give in.

These past weeks I've been studying music, and learning (together with my children even), about music. It has been a real blessing!!! Some of the sweetest times have been worshiping in our living room with David and the children...(and with a friend on occasion ;) They are all teaching me things and I LOVE It!!

I've learned 5 chords on guitar this week. Ouch, my fingers. haha! I now know over 40+ chords on the keyboard and will be learning more theory beginning next week. All of these things that have always seemed like GREEK to me, are coming together!! That is because GOD is doing it, and it isn't anything I personally can do in my own strength. I've got to commit the time to doing it...yet, God is redeeming the time!

I mean, there are people out there whose brains just SOAK these kinds of things up, who are naturally gifted and logical things come easy for them. Their brains remember things. There are some who have to work REAL hard, and can comprehend it, but have to really work HARD at it to grasp it. I'm neither one of these. The thing is, my brain does not comprehend or remember things well, and it does not process things well. I've got to work TWICE as hard as even that hardest working person to "get it"! My brain just processes things differently. That is OK, I'm not sad about that, it is just the way I'm wired. :) Nothing is too great for God though!! Nothing!!! Our whole family is a living testimony to this!

My husband and I are reading a book together that my friend Christina gave us. It is called "Lifestories" by Mark Hall (the lead singer of Casting Crowns). Who happens to have similar challenges. He actually entered as a MUSIC major at the Florida Baptist Theological Seminary in FL...without EVEN being able to read a single musical note. He did not even know how to spell the different terms of music. He only knew FOUR CHORDS!! Yet God called him. God chose and wanted him. Now look at what God has done through His life....so amazing!

This is what it is all about!!! God using our "weaknesses", even failures to make us strong in HIM. God gets the greatest Glory in that!!! "So NO Man should be able to boast, except for boasting in what the LORD has done".

I think of how shaky the knees are when I sing, and how my voice shakes often times when starting out, however, when there is a true "letting go"...and GOD takes over in the moment..HE does something GREATER than myself!!!

THAT is when I think to myself. We cannot hold back ourselves, or others because we get into carnality and judge things by what we see or hear. God does something GREAT through weaknesses. We have to get out of the way, and see what God can do. I have to do this in my own life, and we as christians need to do this in the lives of others.

Sometimes what "we see and think" is not the bigger picture. So, who are we to deny another brother or sister of living their God dreams. He can redeem someone in the blink of an eye! It only takes ONE person to come along side someone, and let them know that they are not alone, and they are significant in Christ...that they are for us...but most of all GOD is for us!!

God can do this great thing in and through us! Even if the dream is much much bigger or better than you could ever be...when HE does it, HE shines and receives the greatest glory.

So, before we judge ourselves, or another person who says they are called by God in certain areas. We should step back out of the way, and just see what God does with a little encouragement. :) God is sooooo soooooooooooo awesome! It IS all about Him. When someone doesn't seem confident or knowledgeable enough...don't be so quick to judge. God may be doing His best work through what seems to appear to be the weakest of souls.

I love this about God! He's full of surprises and unexpected miracles!!

What is your Heart Language? What is your God calling? What is holding you back? Every calling is just as purposeful! From being a friend to the friendless, an encourager, a teacher, giving a cup of cold water in the name of Jesus (feeding the needy), or preaching from a pulpit! We are all ministers when done in the name of Jesus! He has a specific God purpose for us all!!

1 comment:

Mama Llama said...

thanks for such a great encouragement and challenge!