Jenn

The More I Seek You

2012-01-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

DD singing The More I Seek You. I love her face. She has a unique sound to her voice that is so beautiful.

Test

2012-01-27T08:39:00.001-08:00

Haven't been much into writing lately, but felt like being a little creative. Decided to change up my blog photo, and keeping with the basic original design. Changed the font. Not sure if I like it but was tired of the other picture.

Tuesday Thoughts

2011-12-14T07:07:00.001-08:00

I want to write, but I'm feeling a little blah today. I've had many good days, today is a hard day.

This isn't meant to be a 'downer' blog, but one to encourage those who are hurting this time of year. GRIEF IS A PROCESS. Even Jesus healed others through process. Sometimes He healed and it was instant, most often there was a process to it...there were steps to be accomplished before the next step, and the next step....leading to the healing!

I think for me personally, it is several things weighing on my heart, and not one thing I can put my finger completely on. The main event; different forms of grief.

Honestly, I'm very much liking where we live. The city is so great...lots of places to go...people are very nice here. God is doing some amazing things!!! I will share those soon! We are beginning to make a few new friends. God is opening up doors of opportunity. Our family is pulling in together and enjoying each other. Husband LOVES his new job! He is really happy in his new job! The kids and I are liking it here very much. I'm having more joyful and happy days, than sad/hard days. Thank you Lord!

There is this part of me that is rejoicing very much! Overall, very GRATEFUL beyond words!

Then, there is this sad part....a blah part I'm dealing with from time to time. It sort of crops up unexpectedly.

Husband and I were talking early this morning...why is this time of years so difficult for the grieving?

We are grieving over different things right now. Not only loss of loved ones, but loss of sharing time with family and friends in western and eastern NC, FL...the recent moves (4 moves in 4 years...is a LOT...don't care who ya are!), dealing with each of our personal issues and working through them, starting over again. New job for David. Finding a new church (which we still haven't decided on). We do have a few stressors.

Starting over again can be good in many ways, but stressful, even sorrowful in some ways too.

There are many positives. Also losses that cannot be ignored. Must move through the process, even though it is not always comfortable.

I've been thinking a lot about my grandparents, father, uncles and aunts on both sides of our family, father-in-law, dear friends and family we have lost...those who have died. Missing them.

There will be hard days once in awhile with missing them. Especially during the holiday season; certain dates, remembering events; things, dates, smells, situations, or people...all things that asssociate or remind us of them. It happens out from nowhere sometimes.

Since my husband deals with death on a daily basis as a Hospice Chaplain, he is a great encouragement to our family. We learn together and from him. Our family doesn't always get it right, but it helps to share together, and learn from the word of God, and from each other too. To continually walk the healing journey with God, and with family and friends. We all need each other.

My husband has served with GriefShare classes, and I went to their website today. These were some comforting words/ideas to acknowledge and honor loved ones we have lost.

Holidays and Other Special Times
Ideas for Dealing with the Holidays and Other Special Days

Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and other special days can be extremely difficult and are often dreaded by those in grief. Here are some practical suggestions from GriefShare* group leaders and participants on how to make it through these emotionally challenging days.

*Ask yourself questions to help you identify and face the specific feelings and concerns you have about the coming holiday. Questions could include “Which traditions will be different this year?” “Which traditions are important to maintain?” “What plans do I have on that day?” “What do I dread the most about the coming holiday?” “What will I miss the most about not having my loved one here on that day?” “Whom can I ask to pray for me and be my spiritual support on that day?” “How do I plan to take care of myself on that day?”

*Consider having an “escape plan” in place. If you plan to attend a family or group gathering, you could make arrangements with the host/hostess ahead of time to be excused if needed. This plan involves an acknowledgment of the grief process, while also avoiding potentially awkward situations with others.

*Volunteer to help others in need on that special day. For instance, working in a soup kitchen or at the Salvation Army. Your church pastor may have suggestions of other places to volunteer.

*Have a candle-lighting ceremony with your family or close friends to remember lost loved ones. As each person lights a candle, he or she may share something meaningful about the loved one. People could also share a picture, song, poem or a tangible item that was special to the loved one. End with a time of prayer.

*Plan a night of remembrance not only in honor of your lost loved one, but including other friends who have lost a loved one. Provide ornaments or have people bring a special ornament to hang on the tree in remembrance of their lost loved one. Invite people to share a special Christmas memory about their loved one. Include food, music, Scripture and prayer.

*Read a book such as The Empty Chair: Handling Grief on Holidays and Special Occasions by Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert C. De Vries.

* We encourage you to attend a GriefShare grief recovery support group at a church near you. You will have the opportunity to spend time with others who know the deep pain of grief and who can better understand what you are going through this holiday season. You will also learn how to take steps forward and grieve in a way that is healthy. Make a commitment to visit a group for at least three sessions.

© MMVI by Church Initiative. All rights reserve

Here is the GriefShare link. Click Here for GreifShare
You can go on that site and they will let you know where the next class will be in your area.

Another great article by the Hospice Foundation. I found this encouraging....and found it here: Click Here

Coping with Grief During the Holidays
Hospice Foundation of America's New Campaign Offers Advice

Washington, DC - A question commonly asked by bereaved people at this time of year is, "How can I get through the holidays?" There is really no single answer of what one should or shouldn't do. Hospice Foundation of America stresses one guiding principle: do what is comfortable.

"When we are already experiencing the great stress of bereavement, the additional strains of the holidays can create unbearable pressure," commented Jack Gordon, President of HFA. "The key to coping with grief during the holidays is to find the way that is right for you."

Some people find it helpful to be with family and friends, emphasizing the familiar. Others may wish to avoid old sights and sounds, perhaps even taking a trip. Others will find new ways to acknowledge the season.

Here are some key points from HFA's Holiday Grief Campaign:

Plan for the approaching holidays. Be aware that this might be a difficult time for you. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and physically; this is a normal reaction. It is important to be prepared for these feelings.

Recognize that holidays won't be the same. If you try to keep everything as it was, you'll be disappointed. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change while preserving continuity with the past.

Be careful not to isolate yourself. It's alright to take time for yourself but don't cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.

The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans. Respect their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.

Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided.

Web site at: www.hospicefoundation.org

The College Conspiracy?

2011-12-14T07:01:00.000-08:00

I continue to find this video quite thought provoking......

Mind over Matter? If You Don't Mind... You Don't Matter!

2011-12-12T05:19:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I wonder if some forms of the 'EXTREME positive thinking' we christians push onto one another, is nothing more than mind over matter...which is more of 'self power' instead of 'Holy Spirit' power. Even a form of spiritual pride in some cases... (I'm guilty of it!).

You know like: Be happy and all spiritual, and be 'positive', never say ANYTHING otherwise, or else you can't associate with us...you might bring us down.

Yet, God says in the word, things like: associate with the lowly-Romans 12:15-17, better to be lowly-Proverbs 16:19. There is a time for everything-Ecclesiastes 3. I know....the Bibles says a LOT about a LOT!

Any extreme is disfunctional (the Bible didn't say that, but so true!). I'm just continually evaluating my own heart, and things I need to work on. I found myself doing this to a friend...being all "Ms. Positive", and I believe I did more crushing of the friend's spirit than I did encourage for Christ. :-/

Yes, we are given free will to make choices, christians should think on 'good and lovely' things...things of good report-Phil 4:8...encourage others with God's word.

Not too sure if 'our will' should be 'taking full control' to accomplish this by never saying anything negative or questioning...never expressing or allowing others to express sadness, anger or hurt/pain, or anything other than happy all the time mentality.

David in the book of Psalm sure expressed his feelings!

I realize there is a respectful way to express some of these emotions, and personally I've not 'always' been respectful about expressing my feelings.

Doesn't the whole mind over matter sort of cheapen what Jesus did on the cross when we 'WILL' things into being by our own strength? Where's the full surrender in this? It's like willing to diet, but not really having the 'life change'. Which has never worked for me either.

The beauty and power of the cross, by God's word, and FULLY surrendering and trusting JESUS for HIM to transform us, there is Holy Spirit power in the cross! In the RESURRECTION! Thank you JESUS!

Point others to the cross, not in a way that puts pressure on them to be positive ALL the time. Receive grace...and extend this grace to others? Encourage with God's word, not force them to be happy when they are not.

Love others...which Jesus says is above ALL the greatest of commandments...love God, love others.

Remind each other that yes....the Bible says, "In this world WE WILL have trouble, but take heart, JESUS has overcome it!" JESUS, not anything in OUR own power or strength.

Sometimes, it can really hurt the body of Christ to dismiss others when they struggle, and treat them with ZERO compassion or treat them with less value....or as if they have not 'arrived' at some spiritual plateau. The Bible says to treat others as better than ourselves-Rom. 12:10. One version actually says to OUTDO one another in showing HONOR to others. It didn't say, only honor those who get it all right. I think we change the world when we live it out more than anything.

I'm thinking outloud here...that's all...and I SURE DO have a LOT to work on myself!! There is NOTHING GOOD in me, accept Jesus Christ. I'm guilty of doing the same of these things to others in their struggles and pain.

If we are to love as in 1 Corin. 13...maybe instead, point each other to Jesus, share scripture, but patiently bear with them in their pain and struggles...take time to listen and HEAR their HEART. I think sometimes when we don't hear someone's heart, we are really saying..."If you don't mind, you are wasting my time and you really don't matter enough for it. How does that fit into putting others before ourselves?

Only wondering... I know...sort of heavy thinking for a Monday. I need coffee. ;)

Friendship from the Christian Perspective

2011-12-02T06:34:00.000-08:00

This is a wonderful article that I found HERE

Friendship from the Christian Perspective

by Dér Stépanos Dingilian, Ph. D. © 2001

One of the most important areas where the maturity in spirituality becomes apparent for these faithful is in the area of friendship. Here is what Addison states about the value of friendship: “Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joy, and dividing our grief.”

The Exalted Vision of Friendship - Perhaps one of the most needed persons in life, while also one of the most difficult to find is a good friend! Sometimes we forget that when Christ wanted to raise the standard of spiritual living for his Disciples, he told them something very interesting: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know what his master is doing. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (St. John 15:12-15) So from the perspective of Christ, being a ‘friend’ is no simple matter; it is a true commitment and responsibility! Henry Home adds this insight: “The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.”

Helping at Time of Need – Human beings have a natural tendency to help others at time of need. So it is of no surprise that most friendships begin when one or both persons need help. Perhaps the best illustration of the way friends are expected to help at time of need is the story of the Good Samaritan, which you can find in the Gospel according to St. Luke verses 10:30-37. In this story, a traveling Jewish person is attacked by bandits, robed, and beaten, and left to die along the road. Christ points out that other travelers such as another Jewish person and even a Jewish spiritual leader, passed by but did not help this wounded person. Yet, a traveler who was a Samaritan, from a people who were generally considered to be enemies of the Jews, helped this Jewish person and even paid for his lodging so he can get rest and recover. The point that Christ makes is that ‘neighbors’ are truly those who help, rather than those who are simply tied through kinship or call themselves ‘servants of God.’ So the desire to help others at a time of need must surpass the kinship, title, and position. “Life has no blessing like a prudent friend,” observed Euripidies. In fact, the more unexpected is the source of help, the stronger is generally the friendship bond between two persons. Although, most meaningful friendships begin in this manner, yet unless two people demonstrate a sense of reciprocity towards each other, where they help one another at time of need, even what may have been considered a ‘friendship’ at the beginning fades away into being an ‘acquaintance.’ Emerson said “The only way to make a friend is to be one.” Still though, in order for a friendship to grow, the relationship must progress from two people needing each other’s help at time of need, to wanting to share their accomplishments together. This takes us to the next stage of friendship.

Sharing the Successes – Helping each other at times of need is certainly important for two people. However, if it remains so, it simply becomes a utilitarian relationship, meaning that people stay together in order to use each other’s abilities, and not because they care or have respect for each other. Though the friendship remains, but there is hardly any spiritual growth. Spiritual growth comes when two friends share their successes, and actually rejoice for the other’s success. “He is our friend who loves us more than admires us, and would aid us in our great work,” wrote William Ellery Channing.

One may think that two people ought to be happy for each other’s success, and that this is a very commonplace experience in friendships. Surprisingly though, this is not very common. As one parishioner told me once: “When you are in need, everyone pitches in to help you survive. But the minute you begin recovering and moving forward, then everyone pulls back, begins gossiping about you, and saying ‘look at his dumb luck!’” Although this was the observation of an Armenian farmer, yet it is an age-old reality that is described in the Bible, St. Luke 14:16-24. In this parable, a rich man gives a banquet and invites his neighbors. Do his neighbors come and rejoice with him? No! They all make excuses and do not come to the banquet. One of the points of this parable is that people generally do not want to see someone become better or more successful than they are. It is interesting in that many of these people neither want to work hard and excel themselves, nor do they want to give credit to someone else who works hard and excels! Not only do they have that sick attitude of striving for mediocrity, but worse, they stand in the way of those who want to reveal God’s goodness to humanity, and make life a more meaningful and fulfilling experience. For this reason Christ ends this parable by saying: “I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.” In other words, none of those people who oppress or stand in the way of others who want to serve God will ever get a taste of fulfillment or joy in life. Instead, they will remain miserable and pitiful, and die bored from suffocating in the stench of cowardice, mediocrity, and hypocrisy!

Therefore, in order for the relationship between two friends to grow, it must move beyond helping each other, and to creating an environment where both persons freely and with respect share their views, aspirations, and joys. Unless this joyous sharing takes place, the friendship remains a utilitarian one. Of course, one would think that there should be friendship and trust among the clergy. After all, they are called to be followers of Christ, and in so doing they must love each other and be friends. Recently I met one of my students and as we were talking, he said something that really struck me. He said, “Dér Hayr, do you remember all those things you taught us about loving each other, being friends, and cooperating together?” I said “Yes, I am glad you remembered all those principles that I taught, and I am pleased that you remembered that I emphasized those beliefs.” Then he continued, “While we were classmates we were friends and served together until we were ordained. The minute we were ordained, suddenly, our group of friends stopped trusting each other! We were the same people, yet we stopped trusting each other. Can you tell me why that happened?” The reason is jealousy! Although not all clergy have this experience, but “Jealousy is the sister of love, as the devil is the brother of angels,” wrote Boufflers, and clergy as much as laity are vulnerable to this temptation. Most friendships stop growing at the stage of Helping, and do not attain the stage of Sharing because of jealousy. Oh yes, some people do share – but what they share is the gossip about others! That is not true joyous sharing, but rather sharing in each other’s misery. As the saying goes: “Misery loves company!” The Spiritually Mature persons respect such friendships, but they neither trust them, nor invest a great deal of spiritual energy in them. They know that the person who will be gossiping to you about another person today, will be gossiping about you to that person tomorrow! The Spiritually Mature know that very few friendships ever get to the level of trustful sharing of joyous successes and visions! When they find such a relationship, they nurture it and cherish it!

Lasting nature of friendship – Developing a friendship where joyous visions are shared as described above is difficult enough. However, maintaining such a relationship over the years is even more difficult. Socrates wrote “Be slow to fall into friendship; but when you are in it, continue firm and constant.” Usually complacency takes over a friendship, or excuses become the norm of conversation. Eventually, the “out of sight, out of mind” principle darkens the beaming light that guided the friendship. For this reason, the Spiritually Mature know that a friendship is not just for a short time, but rather over a lifetime. They also know that such friendships are very few in a lifetime. True friendships take decades to build, but few unwise and jealous words destroy a friendship in minutes. The Spiritually Mature know that true friendships are so rare, that they must be God sent, because they require all the attributes required of a Christian - true love, commitment, trust, and praying for one another’s well being and success! Robert South, a British minister wrote, “A true friend is the gift of God, and He only who made hearts can unite them!”

A Part of the Plan and Weekend Snaps

2011-11-16T08:26:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, DD and I decided to do a few fun snaps with the iPhone camera. Guess I'm getting a little bit of a creative camera fix with the phone.

People want to know why I am not doing 'official photography' anymore. Well, it may not make sense to others, but the Lord actually spoke to me to put it down for awhile. Part of it is that God has been working out a lot of PRIDE in my life! STILL IS!

Also, during the time of my husband's unemployment, I needed to sell the camera bodies to help pay the bills. Photography was not a 'steady' income. It was mainly a ministry for me and then I made a little money. BUT, I allowed myself to get so sidetracked and consumed with it to the point where it became a vanity thing that I 'lived for'. It was expensive to be able to get the update equipment that I really needed, consumed a LOT of time away from my family, and I did not see this as a 'full time job' venture to begin with.

I found myself so obsessing over it...like I do over so many things and people in my life. God is leading me to OBSESS in HIM alone! Why is it so easy to get sidetracked? I need those blinders like you put on the sides of horses to keep them on the straight path! Lord, keep me on your path, in this moment.

For now, I'm living in 'the moment'. Not thinking too much ahead, not letting go of the God Dreams, holding to hope of the vision, but learning to TRUST His ways. Allowing God to 'fill the holes in my heart'. Which reminds me of these songs I used to love back in the 80's. So here is a christian music throwback. ;)

So, I laid the photography down for awhile, and other things too. It means something between GOD and ME, and that is all that matters! Focusing on what I NEED, my relationship with the Lord, and what MY FAMILY NEEDS. Worrying less what other people think of me, and less of what THEY expect of me. Being used where GOD leads me, not where I allow people into GUILT-ING me into. Trying also not to put those kinds of pressures on people around me either. When we expect a lot from ourselves, we tend to expect just as much, if not MORE from those around us too!

God may have me pick the photography back up again, or invest in the better equipment so I can be ready if God wants to use me. I have done some small shoots here and there using other's equipment, ONLY as the Holy Spirit has led me to do. There are a few 'portrait' promises that I had made for two close friends in ministry that I will hold to if at all possible when those times come, and they are each ready to do their shoots (and those two ladies each know who they are). ONLY portrait shoots! Nothing major, and I can rent the equipment needed for those.

There are times I do miss it...mainly the 'people' that God brought into my path through it. I had the most wonderful conversation with a friend of mine from eastern NC yesterday via Skype. She and her family were one of the first families I photographed, and she shared with me how much it was a blessing from God to have those photos we took together. She is so sweet and encouraging of me. I'm loving that she is pursuing photography, and she is going to be GREAT! She has an amazing creative eye, and such a sweet and humble spirit of the Lord. I'm praying for you girl and that God will direct your path in this new venture!

I do believe we are to use our gifts and talents, all of them, for the glory of God. There is a fine line in the 'balance...being sure it is something GOD wants. For me personally.... so many years I've lived my life from such a place of feeling guilty about everything I do, so it is difficult sometimes for me to KNOW if it is something I am supposed to be doing.

There is this place in my heart for music and worship through song, that God is using, and will continue to use... all of this creativity and music in my heart is from God, and will be used for God's glory. Only pray that God do it HIS way. Sometimes it means being willing to lay it down.

I'm sure it is all 'part' of whatever God's plan is for me to do.

Right now, our family has been through so many transitions, it was such a God thing that I had surrendered the photography for a season. God blessed us in ways that He would not have been able to do if I hadn't. Romans 8:28

When I need a little creative fix, I snap some shots with my instagram. ;)

So here are a few of my favorite things. :) Some fun snaps I did, and share them here so family and friends who don't have facebook can keep up with us and see our faces.

Beautiful DD:

And..........

Our boy got a haircut.......

Before.......

AFTER - He loves it and so do we!!!!......

AND I still want to share with you all about SUNDAY! My bum is tired from sitting at this desk, and I'll write more later....

Thankful Thursday - Comfortably Numb

2011-11-10T12:07:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for two awesome children. We are learning so much together as we home school. I'm learning from them, as much as they are learning from me. Together we are learning from God's word, and I'm even re-learning Algebra. Fun Fun! They are both such a blessing to me, and I'm thankful for them.

It is turning a little colder as we draw nearer to the close of this week. I think we are going to have a few days of high 40's, low 32ish. Burr! Clear skies, so probably no snow in our area.

Tonight DH is taking DS out for some father/son time. DS is really looking forward to this. They are going to have some bonding time that is long overdue with all that we've had going on. It will be a good time for them.

DD is making a list of ideas for she and I to do. I'm looking forward to time with her too! She and I have fun together, and I'm sure we'll find plenty to do around here. Or we may venture out to the larger city.

I'm doing better as far as the move. I do 'like' it here. Good days and hard days still.

Past few days, I've sort of been flat about it. One night of tears. Anyway, I've accepted it, but it still occasionally stings...missing people. The holidays are just a little tough in general with missing many loved ones, especially those of ours who have died. There is this funk I get into, and don't even realize I'm in it sometimes. It rolls around on birthdays of the loved one, or holidays, or anniversary of their death.

I'm doing pretty good overall. Considering it took me 3 yrs to get over our move to eastern NC from western NC...I'm in a MUCH better place in comparison. It is hard that after the 4th yr, we were moving again. It causes me to hesitate to really open up my life and connect with people, because we may move again.

I'm learning to accept God's plan most often upsets ours, even though it HURTS sometimes!!! It isn't about ME ME ME. I just get the privilege to GO THROUGH it. Like many other painful losses. Can't get around it....can't go backwards, can't side step it, or hurdle over it (run ahead of the process). Must GO THROUGH. Like pressing against a raging vortex at times.

Today, I'm 'comfortably numb'. You know me, I'm honest........not going to pretend like I'm joyful Jennifer, when I'm not. I'm not saying I don't have 'joyful' moments (many more lately than not), but not saying it is easy and without sad moments either.

Yeah, This is where I am at today.....comfortably numb. When I'm like this...it is like the lyrics of the song I've posted here..."Hello, is there anybody IN THERE???? Just nod if you can hear me!!" Some days DH has to knock on my head (so to speak) to see if anyone is home. Grief does that too.

Most days are GOOD for the most part.

That balance will come, and the joy is coming. For now......

The words of this song describe me in this moment. My 'drug' of choice is the Word of God and the Holy Spirit who gives me what I need to make it through the days...some days harder than others. God's word always has what we need.

Some days more joyful than others. Some days... neutral. I'll call neutral...'comfortable numb'.

This song reminds me of my late father. My father died in Sept of 1997. He died of a heart attack suddenly when I was pregnant with DS. and DD was so little. A dear friend brought us a bag of snacks to take on the ride to FL (Thanks Ging). We were living in NC at the time. Our Aunt allowed us to drive her beautiful luxurious car to have all the room we needed for traveling. I remember the drive to FL. It was bittersweet...I was BIG and pregnant too!! The drive back to NC was worse though....wow, was it tough. Mainly because I had no time to spend with my family, no time to be with them and grieve with them. It was hard...which made it a little more difficult to get through it.

Anyway, my father loved Pink Floyd...and would play 'The Wall' tape on our drive to stay with him at Ft. Pierce Beach. My parents divorced when I was young, and we would stay weekends with my father, and weeks in the summer with him too. My father once owned two corvettes at one time....and he liked to drive them extremely fast....like over 90-100 mph once when he took us to the beach. He liked 'speed'. He was a free spirit......and we were along for 'the ride'. He liked to play Pink Floyd, Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band....and Rod Stewart. Songs really do spark memories.

My wonderful grandparents were usually there too. They would take us on the beach, while my father and grandfather worked. Or sometimes I would go to work with my grandfather, and he'd let me drive around in the groves while he checked on crews that were harvesting oranges. The beach was a place of peace and solace for me. Which is another reason why I very much miss living near the ocean now. It was nice while it lasted.

AnyWHO. This too shall pass. Going to enjoy time with our family in western NC during Thanksgiving. That will be a fun time! And tonight I'll have fun too.

Here is another song that makes me think of my father.....

Consider the Ant and Finding My Sabbath

2011-11-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

I'm constantly reminding myself, and in teaching our children....it is the 'steady plodding' that gets us to our end result. You know...the whole 'short term goals get us to our long term goals'. The small things we do today, open up the larger things God has for us to do. I need this reminder even more so as I remind our children.

Today I've been thinking about the little things I do, that sometimes think to be insignificant. Yet, if I look at the long term result.......there is something being produced in all of these 'little things' we think are not so important.

The verse comes to me about doing EVERYTHING as unto the Lord...and that means "EVERY" thing! Why is this so difficult?

Every day we are sowing into something or someone. Every little thing holds value (even laundry).....a kind word, a smile, an encouraging word, a word of correction in love....can mean life or death for a person's spirit, or their life course. Wow, that is a LOT to consider!

So today I'm considering the ant.......the ways of the ant. For me....working, building toward the kingdom of God. My life, my husband's life, the two little lives that God has entrusted me with, every person God places in my path....moments or interruptions that could be irritating. God may have something quite profound in those moments, even the irritating ones. It could be a 'divine appointment'.

Then balancing and keeping in mind healthy boundaries, and remember to take time for my personal Sabbath/REST with God each week. There is such a fine line with keeping balance. Only the guiding of the Holy Spirit can keep that all in order. The weekly Sabbath is so important...a FULL DAY. If it was good enough for God to do, it is good for we His children too. Even good things done when it should be a day of rest, can take away the healing and filling up of God that a true Sabbath can bring to us. We need to be filled up with the Lord AND rest in Him, so we have something to give back out again. Or...we may burn out.

Proverbs 6:6-8
Go to the ant, O sluggard;
consider her ways, and be wise.
Without having any chief,
officer, or ruler,
she prepares her bread in summer
and gathers her food in harvest.

Proverbs 30:24-28
Four things on earth are small,
but they are exceedingly wise:
the ants are a people not strong,
yet they provide their food in the summer;
the rock badgers are a people not mighty,
yet they make their homes in the cliffs;
the locusts have no king,
yet all of them march in rank;
the lizard you can take in your hands,
yet it is in kings’ palaces.

Colossians 3:12-17
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Hebrews 4:9-13
So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

God I need you in every moment of the day. To keep my path straight and steady, for what You want me to do...moment by moment. Some things can wait, if you have something special in mind. As long as I am moving with You. Lord, help me find my personal sabbath each week...a full day to rest and reflect in YOU! To Be Still, and KNOW that you are God...to Be Still, and allow my mind to stop spinning with 'busy-ness', so I can truly think on You and honestly work through my thoughts with YOU. Also, to hear You speak in the quiet of the day.

Here is a beautiful photo from my walk........

Saturday Stroll

2011-11-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today was such a BEAUTIFUL day!!! The sky was soooooooo blue, without a single cloud in the sky!

We slept in a bit, and then drove to DH's office. We hung a picture, most of his plaques of accomplishments.....one being his B.A. in Sports Medicine...and put books in his bookcase. We need to have his ordination certificate framed, and Master's of Divinity.

We decided to hang this one on the main wall of his office......

It works nicely in there, and it is a print of a drawing we purchased while visiting The Biltmore House. The artist of the Biltmore House drew this when he was 15-16 yrs old. It took him a 1 and 1/2 to complete. On one of our visits to Biltmore, the artist happened to be there signing his drawings. So we purchased this one, and DH's uncle framed it for us. We've had it for years, and we love it!

Here is more of God's beauty while driving to DH's office:

After we finished at his office, we took a drive to Roanoke. It was such a lovely drive, and here is what we saw on the drive.....

An amazing view from the highway.........

Then we stopped for a late lunch at a famous Hot Dog Stand.......

Yes, Barbara Bush has even eaten here.......(and this same man, the owner, served our Hot Dog's today......)

Yummy!

(Almost as good as Tankard's chili dogs....not quite, but what can we do when we are 6 hrs away from Tankards??? Boohoo missing you!)

Tomorrow we are going to the early church service at the church we have been visiting here. Then we have a memorial service to be a part of......given for families who have lost loved ones this past yr., whose loved ones were taken care of by the Hospice clinic DH works for. They have asked DH, DD and I to sing with the small choir they have put together. DS did not want to sing, but he will be attending with us. We are singing one of my favorites..."I'll Fly Away"; A few other selections, including this song.......

Going to bed early....tomorrow will be a busy, and most likely emotional day.

Thankful Thursday - Week in View

2011-11-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful that my husband has a job, when so many are out of a job and not been able to find employment. We are very blessed that he was able to find a position, doing what he loves and feels 'called' by God to do, after four months of being unemployed. God has blessed us with a nice place to live, and the main thing......we have each other!

Tuesday we met DH for lunch at the hospital he will serve in at times. It is an amazing hospital...not large, but NICE. The inside of it had a waterfountain that resembles a waterfall. There was a black grande piano across from the fountain, that was up on a platform. Dr's and Nurses play it at random times...during breaks/ lunch hour.

The stairway down to the cafeteria was wide, gradually curved around, and it was made with smooth stones. So beautiful! The walls and part of the ceiling were all glass in the cafeteria area, and it was so sunny and bright!

Being in a hospital usually does not cheer me up, but being in this one was quite cheery.

After we had lunch with DH, the children and I we went to his office and met his supervisors and co-workers. Most of them are pastor's wives...very interesting.

DH has a nice office...first time he has ever had his 'own' office. Usually he would have to share a space, or he worked out of his home.

On Sat., I'm going help him decorate his office, hang pictures...place books in his beautiful bookcase. There are some certificates we still need to frame to hang in his office. His recent ordination, his certifications he received with hospice. I'm going to look into this. There is a Michael's nearby, and I'm pretty sure they do framing there. I'd like them to match what he already has framed (as much as possible).

I've had a good week, and gotten a lot accomplished. Not as many sad moments (although had one good crying spell early this morning).

Yesterday I hung paintings and portraits...'eye-balled' them....cleaned and organized the first floor of our 3 floors. Cleaned out and found homes for things. Still need to finish the armoire. Somewhere along the way, I've lost some pegs for the top shelving. Need to find those before I can finish organizing it. Anyway, made a lot of progress there in the living room and kitchen. I had unpacked, but not really gotten stuff organized or 'homes' for some of it. Main thing, there were paintings and portraits stacked down there, and glad to have most of those hung now!

I'm starting at the bottom and working my way up. The second floor is 'another story'. I still have a floor full of books, artwork, and music in the upstairs den. The floor is covered..........these piles I want to conquer, and will be able to find homes for a good bit of these items. Will need more shelving for the books and artwork. I'm going to get one more tall walnut bookcase. Then one tall white one for the sunroom/art studio. It will take some time as we are still playing catch up.

Last night when DH drove DD and DS to youth group, I while sitting in the passenger seat, admired how beautiful the sky was....took some photos of that. God is the master artist:

Treats, no Tricks!

2011-11-01T04:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we got through another 'Halloween'. I don't mind it so much. Our children have always loved the dressing up part. When they were younger, we'd take them around mainly to friends and family...maybe some church festival events, and they would have fun getting candy and showing off their costumes.

As they are getting older, they enjoy more handing out the candy. Both DD and DS had a good time rushing to the door, with bowl of candy, to see the children and their fun costumes. Lots of sweet little girls with princess costumes, a few Harry Potters, a Sponge Bob. A few creepy ones too.

I try to take an approach to see the good and fun parts of it, and not focus on the other. That is just me, and I try to respect other's opinion about it too. I've never played it up much at all. Only had a very few decorations that were pumpkin related, and actually got rid of most and gave to my friend Lindsay before we moved.

I've given away a LOT more items before we moved. I still have a box to take to Goodwill or Salvation Army, that the movers accidentally packed...was too tired during the move to even notice they had packed it up. I gave tons of empty plastic containers away that I did not intend to fill again. Kept a few...but seriously, there were like probably at least 40 empty plastic containers! It is a good feeling to simplify. DH and I are going through the garage one more time, to see if there is anything we can give away or throw away.

God keeps calling me to go through again and again...keep simplifying. Not sure what this is about, but we have other friends in AL who have been going through this same feeling. Also another friend in Washington. Maybe God is getting us all ready for something, or calling His people to learn to live 'simply'.

Last week was a good week for me (as far as feeling sad about the move and this transition), and I've had my mind in a good place; My attitude in a good place. Well, last night I took a turn for the worse, I had a drop down that went south fast! Not sure what it was because I'm staying in the word, had a good day overall with the children, and have been allowing God to shift my thinking. Yet, out from nowhere, I could not stop crying.

I suppose grief can be like that....grief of all sorts. This move is a grieving. DH and I were also faced Sat. with dealing with grief of friends losing their father. Also, another illness they are dealing with. Which brought us around to losing our Gaga, and the children and us walking through more grieving moments too.

As much as we'd like to never feel sad again or shed a tear, the sad moments still come unexpectedly. We've got to allow ourselves to FEEL that pain, work through it....allow God to touch those places, and move through it. We are doing this with God walking us through. We get through the sad spots, with or without support of others. However, it sure would be much sweeter getting through the struggles and pain of life, with understanding others. Not someone to 'fix', or tell how us how we need to be acting, or what to do to 'get over it'. We all know that, We know the word. We love Jesus and HE is our Savior! Yet there are times we need to feel and cry...need a brother or sister in the Lord to 'be' beside us. A presence of a friend can be comforting; a word of encouragement and love...and uplifting word in season can bring a person from a very low place, to a much higher place. A sharp, harsh word, can take one lower into despair.

God help me be as Jesus to those who are hurting. Help me speak words that build up someone who is hurting, and lovingly remind them of their hope in Christ. No matter how long it takes, show me how to walk through it, and love others through, and allow YOU to do the work in us all. Not place burdensome or encumbering expectations on others or myself. Help me sharpen lives by your love and your word. Help me live out the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 6:1-10) in my own life, and to be this to others. Help me bear burdens with others, and help them carry their box of burdens too. Help me not be like the Pharisees, who were more interested in shoving the word down peoples throat, for the sake of being 'religious'. Help me to truly LOVE with your love as you teach us in 1 John 3. There is so much I am lacking in, but yet you have grace and mercy enough to cover and BE love through me.

1 John 3
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Help me to live the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

God Never Disappoints

2011-10-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

We have been through some difficult seasons in the past 7-8 yrs, and especially the past 9 mons. A lot of hard things, and some things that came back on us again.

I'm so very thankful for people God brought into our path (they know who they are), to love us and guide us through, and sharpen us. All of them know who they are from Williamston, to Winterville to Greenville, to Washington. Who worked with God and us, either by prayer or directly, to complete the work God was doing, which began before we ever moved to eastern NC. So many hard lessons I have personally learned...the hard way, and still learning some lessons too. Guess that is what it means to be transformed!

Here in the new location we are living in, I can't explain it, but there is such a sense of kindness, receiving, and giving. The overall atmosphere of the town is so inviting, AND the church we are visiting is too. That is, when I got through the difficulty of moving away, and opened my spiritual eyes and ears, to see and hear what was going on around me.

The FIRST time we visited this church was last Sunday. We felt like they truly and sincerely RECEIVED us right away. So KIND, encouraging, considerate, attentive....they remember when we tell them something. From Sunday to today, one of the leaders was thoughtful in asking us about those things we shared. They are making sure we have what we need here in the city. It is the most unusual feeling except to say, God is definitely doing something HERE. He definitely led us by his grace and love, to this place.

The children went to this church today to serve dinner to the local high school football team. They had such a great time with the youth leaders and young people. I mean, they only met these people Wed., and when we picked DD and DS up, they were full of joy and smiles. Excited to tell us all about it. It is good to see the joy coming forth.

People so received them/us overwhelmingly! It is neat to be in such a new place and experience this so SOON. I mean not just very friendly, Like OVERLY niceness......I've never seen anything like it really! This is how outrageous it is! It isn't just ONE or a few, but it is the atmosphere of the church as a whole, and like I said...the city as well.

Our church in eastern NC is so amazing and warm and loving. We know we can't look for a place to compare to what we had there, but this church is very....well....NICE. I mean, with any church it usually takes a little time to get to know people. With these people, it seems like we have known them already. Like a sister church.

Even with all of this showering of love on us, we are going to PRAY and take it slow. Yet, it is wonderful how we are 'fitting' there as if we went from one family, right to the next part of the same family...already knowing each other. It is 'familiar', and much like our eastern NC church in many ways. Isn't that the way it should be in the family of God?

I love how time means absolutely nothing to God! In a blink, He can heal, redeem, restore, bring QUICK recompense. I'm very thankful. Not sure all God has in store for us here, or for how long, but I've seen enough this week to get my attention; things are going effortlessly upward! It is like a pouring out on our family that cannot be stopped. It isn't only of 'things' or 'financial' gain, it is blessings, kindness, favor from God and favor from man. Like I said, something like we have never experienced before. So I want to encourage people with the same encouragement OTHERS have comforted me with....

Hold on to Jesus, HE never disappoints. People disappoint, but God never does. Jesus is the same, Yesterday, Today and Forever. Good things come to those who WAIT PATIENTLY on HIM. The old me would be saying, "Ok, when is the bottom going to drop out?" The new me is remaining expectant, and DRINKING IT ALL IN! So thankful for His mercy and grace.

DH is doing great with his new job...he LOVES it! He has been training with a chaplain from a nearby city who has been PRECIOUS! I got to meet him today, and he is the kind of person you just like immediately. He and DH get along SO WELL! They have had the BEST TIME while he has been in orientation with this chaplain. He has been like a father to my husband, and has taken him places everywhere, and 'showing him the ropes' and all of the BEST spots around here. He has been so uplifting and encouraging...they sing together, and laugh together. Everyday I hear new stories of his awesome day. YEAH!

When I first arrived, my attitude was not good at all. It was so hard to leave and move again for me. Then, God got a hold of me, and I pressed into Him. Through His word He began to show me a different view. I'm keeping my eyes focused on HIS view!

I've had the creative juices flowing this week! Creatively, I've been inspired to draw and paint. I pulled out my keyboard today and hooked it up.

Here is a song that I sang yrs ago with a friend back in Western NC. I would love to learn it on piano, but cannot find the original chord sheet for this range. If anyone can hear the key here, and let me know the chord progression of it, please email me at: jennifer.creates@gmail.com or FB message me if you are in my contacts there. I'd like to learn it to worship with here.

Drifting by Plumb (featuring Dan Haseltine)

2011-10-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Just when you've lost the will to live, you see the Son.

Oh....I want her purple hair....... love it! :)

Jordan and I just found this via K Love. If you pull the video up in youtube, there is a link where you can download the songs from itunes for free.

Or Click Here to Download it from iTunes via K Love!

Handling Discouragement - Part 2

2011-10-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

This is continued from part one that I posted before........

Taken from Banner of Truth website...

Continued from Part I of this article.

So ask yourself, What are the critics saying that might help me improve myself and my ministry? Is there a kernel of truth in this particular criticism that, if changes are made, will make me a better minister?

If critics say something constructive, absorb it, confess your fault, take the lead in self-criticism, ask for forgiveness where appropriate, make changes for the better, and move on. If they offer nothing constructive, be kind and polite, and move on.

Don’t ever get self-defensive or angry, but turn the other cheek, as Jesus advised. If your conscience is clear, a simple, straightforward explanation may be helpful in certain cases, though respectful silence is often more appropriate and effective (Mk. 14:61). At all costs, don’t strive to justify yourself; refuse to descend to the level of the negative critic.

Don’t take every whisper seriously, get sidetracked into fruitless controversy, or spend your energy trying to appease or persuade implacable critics who foster animosity. But do ask: Why am I being misunderstood? Do my sermons, attitudes, “hobby horses,” and personal traits somehow combine to send a mixed message? Am I only implying what I should make explicit, or am I ignoring certain problems that should be addressed? Often your critics will be at least partially right in one or more of these areas; at the very least, they will teach you patience, make you more like Christ, and keep you from pride. They can save you from yourself and lead you to greater dependency on God.

Whatever results the criticism yields, once you’ve dealt with it and implemented the necessary changes, do not let it fester inside of you. Develop the attitude of Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, “Criticism makes very little dent upon me, unless I think there is some real justification and something should be done.” Either way, deal with the criticism quickly and efficiently, and put it behind you. Remember, pessimism develops when we harbor the memory and hurt of criticism, allowing it to fester inside.

7. Consider Scripture. Some ministers are so delicate that they cannot endure criticism without crumbling. They need to develop better emotional muscle. Other ministers are so battle-hardened by the ministry that their hearts are, as someone said, like “the hide of a rhinoceros.” They need to develop the tender heart of a child. Actually, we need both; we need to cultivate the heart of a child for biblical criticism and the hide of a rhinoceros for satanic criticism. That combination is possible, not in our strength, but only through God’s grace molding our hearts by His Word.

We need to memorize and meditate upon texts such as Ephesians 6:10, “Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might,” as well as Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love.” We ought to read and plead upon such texts every day, and let them permeate our minds and souls. Only as Scripture conforms us to the image of Christ will we find the right balance of strong tenderness and tender strength in the face of criticism.

8. Consider Christ. Hebrews 12:3 says, “Consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself.” Peter is more detailed: “Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: who did not sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: who, when he was reviled, he reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously” (1 Pet. 2:21-23). If Christ, who was perfect and altogether innocent, was spat upon, mocked, rejected, and crucified, what can we imperfect pastors expect? If one of Jesus’ handpicked apostles betrayed him for a paltry sum, and another swore that he did not know Him out of fear for a servant maid, why should we expect to carry on our ministries without ever being betrayed or deserted?

What’s more, if our critics happen to be in error and we are suffering unjustly, shouldn’t we thank God that they don’t know how bad we truly are? No matter how much we are criticized, we are never criticized as much as our sin merits, even if we are innocent of the accusation levelled against us.

If we have Christ, who, being innocent, suffered infinitely more for our sake than we shall ever suffer for His sake, we have more than enough to cope with any trial (1 Cor. 10:13; 2 Cor. 4:7-12). Drink deeply of the love of Christ, and you will conquer pessimism and be able to love your critic.

9. Consider biblical saints. Allow me to illustrate this point only from the example of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians. There he defends himself from the charges of the Corinthians who were challenging his leadership and criticizing him for not being a super-apostle, being physically weak, and having contemptible speech. How does Paul respond to these criticisms in chapter 10? He takes refuge in Christ. “We are Christ’s,” he says in verse 7. He shores up his identity in Christ’s person and His work, according to the Scriptures and his own experience. Then, he strives to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Finally, he submits his every weakness into God’s hands, accepts those weaknesses, and trusts that God will use him even as a broken clay pot to let the gospel light shine through him. Let us go and do likewise.

10. Consider love. Love the one who criticizes you in these ways: For Christ’s sake, become better acquainted with those who criticize you; you cannot love those you don’t know. Seek to understand them. Assure them that you want to learn from them and that you want iron to sharpen iron. Thank them for coming directly to you with their criticism.

Be willing to forgive any injury done to you. Failure to forgive will keep the pain alive. It will sour your preaching, cripple your ministry, and hinder your prayer life. As Spurgeon says, “Unless you have forgiven others, you read your own death warrant when you repeat the Lord’s Prayer. Forgive and forget. When you bury a dead dog, don’t leave its tail sticking up above the ground.”

Pray with your critic. If he visits you, always begin with prayer, and ask him to close in prayer, unless he is still bitter at the end of the visit. (In the case of a woman or child, you should probably offer the closing prayer.) Be very careful to pray to God and not against your critic in your prayer. Go the extra mile to ask the Lord to forgive you and to help you change in any area that needs forgiveness and change. Be as specific as possible. Pray with integrity and humility.

And then pray for your critic in private. It’s difficult to stay bitter against a person for whom you pray. The Lord delivered Job from his hard feelings toward his judgmental friends when he prayed for them. Praying for those who defame you produces peace of mind and freedom from most of the pain of criticism.

Feel pity for your negative critic. How unhappy such a person is! What damage habitually critical adults do to their children! How seldom do the children of critics become stalwart sons and daughters of the church! How tragic to be a parent who causes “these little ones to stumble”! Critical parents will have so much to answer for on the Judgment Day. Thank God that you are on the receiving end, not the criticizing end. That, too, is only by grace, for our natural hearts are no better or different.

Finally, put away anything that inhibits love. As Peter writes, “Lay aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings” (1 Pet. 2:1). Show kindness and attention. I feel so strongly about this that someone said, “The best way to get attention from our minister is to become his enemy!”

There’s another side-benefit to this for yourself as well. You will discover that when you lovingly serve your critic rather than resentfully retaliate against him, your own wounds will heal more rapidly. If your critic rebuffs your attempt to serve him, reach out to serve others-comfort the needy, lift up the fallen, support the weak. That will be excellent therapy for you.

11. Consider the long haul. No president in American history was so respected and yet so reviled as Abraham Lincoln. Thousands opposed his views on war and slavery as well as his attempts to keep the nation united. One day a friend pulled Lincoln aside and told him that the criticism had reached such a crescendo that it was as if Lincoln were surrounded by scores of barking dogs. Lincoln responded, “You know that during the time of the full moon, dogs bark and bark at the moon as long as it is clearly visible in the sky.” Puzzled by Lincoln’s response, the friend asked, “What are you driving at? What’s the rest of the story?” Lincoln answered, “There is nothing more to tell. The moon keeps right on shining.”

You see, Lincoln believed he was right and that his policies would in the long run win over critics and unify the country. As pastors, we can waffle too easily under the pressure of “barking parishioners” when we know we are in the right. To obtain temporary peace with a few disgruntled members, we are prone to abandon long-term biblical vision that shines on our churches and ministries like a full moon. Don’t do that, brothers. Don’t be intimidated by criticism. Don’t allow a few critics to force you into their molds, so that you live timid and hesitant lives, doing nothing, saying nothing, and worst of all, being nothing.

Remember, the fear of criticism is usually a greater threat than criticism itself. Even as you feel the fear of man, let the fear of God propel you forward and upward. Retain long-term vision by fearing God more than man. In the long haul, as Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again.”

12. Consider eternity. On the other side of Jordan, our faithful Savior will be waiting for us who will never let us down. He loves us even though He knows everything about us, and He will take us to be with Him where He is forever. He will wipe away every tear from our eye and will prove to be the Friend who sticks closer than a brother. All wrongs will be made right. All injustices will be judged. All criticism will be past. All evil will be walled out of heaven and all good walled in.

Because of Jesus Christ, we will enjoy perfect fellowship and friendship with the Triune God, forever knowing, loving, and communing with the Father, the Son, and the Spirit. As a woman seeing her newborn forgets the pain of delivery, you will forget all the trials of your ministry when you embrace Immanuel.

In heaven, there will be perfect unity. We will commune with the unfallen angels and the saints of all ages in absolute perfection. There will be no denominations, no divisions, no disagreements, no misunderstandings, no theological arguments, no ignorance. There will not be a hair’s breadth of difference among the saints. We shall all be one even as Christ is in the Father and the Father in Him. There will be a complete, perfect, visible, intimate oneness.

Three great truths shall become perfect reality for us: first, we will understand that all the criticism we received here below was used in the hands of our Potter to prepare us for Immanuel’s land. Second, we will see fully that all the criticisms we were called to bear on earth were but a light affliction compared to the weight of glory that awaited us. Third, in heaven we will be “more than repaid” for every affliction we endured on earth for the sake of our best and perfect Friend, Jesus Christ.

Oh, happy day when this mortality shall put on immortality and this corruption, incorruption, and we shall ever be with the Lord! Let all the criticism our Sovereign God calls us to endure in this life in His infinite wisdom make us more homesick for the criticism-free land of Beulah where the Lamb is all the glory. There,

The bride eyes not her garment
But her dear Bridegroom’s face.
I will not gaze at glory,
But at my King of grace.
Not at the crown He giveth,
But at His pierced hand.
The Lamb is all the glory
In Immanuel’s land.

Developing a Positive Attitude

Brothers, do we have a positive view of the ministry? We have the most important and significant vocation in the world. My father often said to me, “Your calling is more important than living in the White House!” We never have to wake up in the morning and ask if our ministry is a worthwhile pursuit. As Richard Baxter says, “I would not change my life for any of the greatest dignities on earth. I am contented to consume my body, to sacrifice to God’s service, and to spend all that I have, and to be spent myself, for the souls of men.”

We are ambassadors of the King of kings, and we have His promise that His Word shall not return to Him void (Is. 55:10-11). Christ is our intercessor at the right hand of the Father, and the Holy Spirit is the advocate in our heart. God will not allow criticism beyond what He provides grace for us to bear (1 Cor. 10:13). Every criticism, like any other hardship or difficulty, will eventually work for our good (Rom. 8:28).

Stop your worldly complaining. Count your blessings. Persevere in the good fight of faith. You have the best of assurances in that fight-the promises of God; the best of advocates-the Holy Spirit; the best of generals-Jesus Christ; the best of results-everlasting glory. Follow Fred Malone’s advice, “We must quit expecting people to respond properly, making them our tin gods of life and death. This is idolatry, to live and die upon our people’s behavior. Paul said, ‘Having received mercy, we faint not.’ The comfort of God’s mercy received is the only lasting motivation I have ever found to labor on in trial.”

“Lift up the hands that hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for your feet” (Heb. 12:12-13). For every look you take at yourself and your circumstances, look ten times at Christ, as Richard Baxter advised. You can start complaining when you have given as much for Christ as He has given for you. Gird up the loins of your mind, and stand fast, for your Savior is greater than both Apollyon and the times. Your Sender will not desert you. Hold fast your profession-even when friends desert you-by clinging to your High Priest who is holding fast to you. Trust Him. He’s a Friend that sticks closer than a brother; He will never desert you. Don’t put your trust in princes or in a dying, fallen world, but in the Prince of peace. Look Christward; lean Christward; pray Christward; preach Christward.

Put your hands again to the plow, despite your weakness and hurts. “Continue with double earnestness to serve your Lord when no visible result is before you,” Spurgeon advised. Pray more and look at circumstances less. “Bury not the church before she be dead,” John Flavel quipped, and I would add: “Bury not yourself nor the church before you and she be dead.” Believe Christ’s promise to His servants in Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.”

Don’t resign; re-sign. Renew your commitment to Christ and His cause. You do that the same way the backsliding Ephesians had to “re-sign” when they left their first love. You:

Remember, therefore, from whence thou art fallen,
Repent of your worldliness and backsliding,
Return to your first love, ministry, and do the first works (Rev. 2:5).

Don’t give up on the Lord. He is not done with you or your ministry. Serve this great God with faithfulness and zeal. The world may not be worthy of you, but God is. Serve your Master with all your heart and every gift that you have.

By Joel Beeke

Handling Discouragement - Part 1

2011-10-24T06:54:00.001-07:00

Dear God, forgive me for my foolish pride that creeps in so easily. Teach me what it means to truly live. This really spoke to my heart today.......

Handling Discouragement - Part I

Paul’s farewell message to the Ephesian elders (Acts 20:18-35) is warmly affectionate, yet full of solemn warning. Acts 20:28 is the heart of that message, and shows how we ministers must overcome wrong attitudes toward ministry with regard to ourselves and to our work. Acts 20:28 says, “Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.”

Paul gives three directives to consider as we face opposition in the ministry: take heed to yourselves, take heed to your flock, and take heed to feed the church of God. He enforces each mandate with persuasions to persevere in our work. “Take heed,” Paul says. Stop whatever you are doing. Pay close attention. Deny yourself, and consider what I say, for it is most important.

In this address, I want to focus on one aspect of Paul’s first directive, namely, that we should take heed to ourselves regarding our attitude toward ministry. Within this theme, I want to focus with you on our need as ministers (1) to fight pride, (2) to cope well with criticism, and (3) to develop a positive attitude toward ministry itself.

Fighting Pride

Ministers can develop two paralyzing attitudes to the ministry: pride and pessimism. Both are worldly at heart, for both show that the world is not crucified in us.

God hates pride (Prov. 6:16-17). He hates the proud with His heart, curses them with His mouth, and punishes them with His hand (Ps. 119:21; Is. 2:12, 23:9). Pride was God’s first enemy. It was the first sin in paradise and the last we will shed in death. “Pride is the shirt of the soul, put on first and put off last,” wrote George Swinnock.

As a sin, pride is unique. All sins turn us away from God, but pride is a direct attack upon God. It lifts our hearts above Him and against Him. Pride seeks to dethrone God and enthrone itself.

Pride is complex. “It takes many forms and shapes and encompasses the heart like the layers of an onion-when you pull off one layer, there is another underneath,” wrote Jonathan Edwards.

We ministers, who are always in the public eye, are particularly prone to the sin of pride. As Richard Greenham wrote, “The more godly a man is, and the more graces and blessings of God are upon him, the more need he hath to pray because Satan is busiest against him, and because he is readiest to be puffed up with a conceited holiness.”

Pride feeds off nearly anything: a fair measure of ability and wisdom, a single compliment, a season of remarkable prosperity, a call to serve God in a position of prestige-even the honor of suffering for the truth. “It is hard starving this sin, as there is nothing almost but it can live upon,” wrote Richard Mayo.

If we think we are immune to the sin of pride, we should ask ourselves: How dependent are we on the praise of others? Are we more concerned about a reputation for godliness than about godliness itself? What do gifts and rewards from others say to us about our ministry? How do we respond to criticism from people in our congregation?

Our forefathers did not consider themselves immune to this sin. “I know I am proud; and yet I do not know the half of that pride,” wrote Robert Murray M’Cheyne. Twenty years after his conversion, Jonathan Edwards groaned about the “bottomless, infinite depths of pride” left in his heart. And Luther said, “I am more afraid of Pope ‘Self’ than of the Pope in Rome and all his cardinals.”

Pride spoils our work. “When pride has written the sermon, it goes with us to the pulpit,” Richard Baxter said. “It forms our tone, it animates our delivery, it takes us off from that which may be displeasing to the people. It sets us in pursuit of vain applause from our hearers. It makes men seek themselves and their own glory.”

A godly minister fights against pride, whereas a worldly one feeds pride. “Men frequently admire me, and I am pleased,” said Henry Martyn, but adds, “but I abhor the pleasure I feel.” Cotton Mather confessed that when pride filled him with bitterness and confusion before the Lord, “I endeavoured to take a view of my pride as the very image of the Devil, contrary to the image and grace of Christ; as an offense against God, and grieving of His Spirit; as the most unreasonable folly and madness for one who had nothing singularly excellent and who had a nature so corrupt.” Thomas Shepard also fought pride. In his diary entry for November 10, 1642, Shepard wrote, “I kept a private fast for light to see the full glory of the Gospel… and for the conquest of all my remaining pride of heart.”

Can you identify with these pastors in their struggle against pride? Do you care enough about your brothers in ministry to admonish them about this sin? When John Eliot, the Puritan missionary, noticed that a colleague thought of himself too highly, he would say to him, “Study mortification, brother; study mortification.”

How do we fight against pride? Do we understand how deeply rooted it is in us, and how dangerous it is to our ministry? Do we ever remonstrate with ourselves as did the Puritan Richard Mayo: “Should that man be proud that has sinned as thou hast sinned, and lived as thou hast lived, and wasted so much time, and abused so much mercy, and omitted so many duties, and neglected so great means?-that hath so grieved the Spirit of God, so violated the law of God, so dishonoured the name of God? Should that man be proud, who hath such a heart as thou hast?”

If we would kill worldly pride and live in godly humility, let us look at our Savior, whose life, Calvin said, “was naught but a series of sufferings.” Nowhere is humility better cultivated than at Gethsemane and Calvary. When pride threatens you, consider the contrast between a proud minister and our humble Savior. Confess with Joseph Hall:

Thy garden is the place
Where pride cannot intrude;
For should it dare to enter there,
T’would soon be drowned in blood.

And sing with Isaac Watts:

When I survey the wondrous cross,
On which the Prince of glory died;
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Here are some other ways to help you subdue pride:

Stay in the Word. Read, search, know, memorize, love, pray over, and meditate upon such passages as Psalm 39:4-6, Psalm 51:17, Galatians 6:14, Philippians 2:5-8, Hebrews 12:1-4, and 1 Peter 4:1, all in dependency upon the Spirit. The Spirit alone can break the back of our pride and cultivate humility within us by taking the things of Christ and showing them to us.

Seek a deeper knowledge of God, His attributes, and His glory. Job and Isaiah teach us that nothing is so humbling as knowing God (Job 42; Is. 6). Spend time meditating on God’s greatness and holiness in comparison to your smallness and sinfulness.

Practice humility (Phil. 2:3-4). Remember how Augustine answered the question, “What three graces does a minister need most?” by saying, “Humility. Humility. Humility.” To that end, seek greater awareness of your depravity and the heinousness and irrationality of sin.

Remember daily that “pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov. 16:18). View your afflictions as God’s gifts to keep you humble. View your talents as gifts of God that never accrue any honor to you (1 Cor. 4:7). Everything you have or have ever accomplished has come from God’s hand.

View overcoming pride as a lifelong process that calls you to grow in servanthood. Be determined to fight the battle against pride by considering each day as an opportunity to forget yourself and serve others. As Abraham Booth writes, “Forget not, that the whole of your work is ministerial; not legislative-that you are not a lord in the church, but a servant.” The act of service is intrinsically humbling.

Read the biographies of great saints, such as Whitefield’s Journals, The Life of David Brainerd, and Spurgeon’s Early Years. As Dr. Lloyd-Jones says, “If that does not bring you to earth, then I pronounce that you are just a professional and beyond hope.” Associate, too, with living saints who exemplify humility, rather than arrogant or flattering people. Association promotes assimilation.

Meditate much on the solemnity of death, the certainty of Judgment Day, the vastness of eternity, and the fixed states of heaven and hell. Consider what you deserve on account of sin and what your future will be on account of grace; let the contrast humble you (1 Pet. 5:5-7).

Coping With Criticism

A pessimistic attitude in a minister is no better than a proud one, for pride is usually the root of pessimism. Ministers become pessimistic when they think they deserve better treatment than they’re getting. At times they may be right, but they may also be failing to exercise self-denial as their Master did, who suffered far worse at the hands of men than they will ever suffer, yet did not retaliate (1 Pet. 2:23).

Resentment and criticism are the maidservants of pessimism. A complaining spirit produces negativism, depression, bitterness, and disillusionment in the ministry. It also promotes smugness and blindness to one’s own condition. Bitter ministers often don’t see their unforgiving spirit, their habit of backbiting, or their tendency to judge others and magnify their deficiencies (Matt. 7:3-5).

If any minister had reason to be pessimistic, it was the imprisoned Paul. Yet Paul wrote his most joyous epistle, Philippians, from prison. Paul knew times of inner gloom and depression (2 Cor. 1:8-9), but his epistles show little evidence of it. He could say, “For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phil. 4:11). People have enough troubles and burdens without having to endure the ministrations of a pessimistic, discontented pastor.

Part of the problem of pessimism is that few ministers know how to respond to those who criticize them. Being on the receiving end of criticism for many years often results in pessimism, cynicism, exasperation, insomnia, and even resignations. Here are some helps to cope with criticism without letting it lead to pessimism:

1. Consider it inevitable. In a recent study, 81 percent of American clergymen said they have experienced hostile criticism. Twenty-five percent felt that coping with criticism was the most difficult problem of ministry. It is futile to think that you can avoid criticism in the ministry. If you proclaim the whole counsel of God, as you should, you are bound to become a target of criticism. As Jesus says in Luke 6:26, “Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you.” Expect criticism; don’t be devastated by it.

2. Consider the motive. It is critical, first of all, to listen well. Don’t only get the facts straight, but also ask: Have I heard and understood the criticism rightly and accurately? Have I heard the real problem or just a symptom of something deeper? Unresolved anger, depression, changes in life situations, frustration in relationships, jealousy, shattered expectations, and dissatisfaction with church work can lead to criticism. So ask yourself, “Does the person who is criticizing me have a proper motive, or is it indicative of something else? For example, does the critic enjoy finding fault because it somehow makes him feel superior?” Understanding the person’s motive will help you respond and cope better with the criticism.

3. Consider the source. Who is criticizing you-an office-bearer, a mature believer, a babe in grace, an unbeliever, a highly critical individual, or a fringe member of the church? James Taylor writes, “Those who criticize are usually those on the fringe, who stand back and are deaf to every appeal for service.” Criticisms from such persons seldom merit change or any other investment of energy on your part.

On the other hand, if the critic is a mature believer or an office-bearer who is usually supportive, you should seriously consider the criticism and will often find some truth in it that calls for change. What’s more, you should encourage constructive evaluation from such people. Generally speaking, the more you can sincerely welcome constructive criticism, the more your ministry and relationships with others will benefit from it.

4. Consider the context. The physical setting, timing, and situation out of which criticism comes may help us determine whether the criticism is helpful. As a general rule, don’t respond to criticism for at least twenty-four hours to allow yourself time for prayer, sifting through your feelings, getting past some of the hurt, and consulting others whose wisdom you respect.

Forcing solutions to issues too hastily may make a bad situation worse. Some situations will yield only to the healing touch of time. Truth has a way of eventually vindicating itself. Luke 21:19 says, “In your patience possess ye your souls.”

5. Consider yourself. Critics are often God’s gifts to guard us from self-satisfied and self-destructive tendencies. The Holy Spirit uses our critics to keep us from justifying, protecting, and exalting ourselves. Although critics often exaggerate their case and are seldom entirely right, they are often partially right.

Ask yourself, “Am I responding appropriately to criticism?” Remember, those who have an ear for Christ learn to have an ear for others also. If you find yourself habitually feeling slighted, neglected, and mistreated, view your feelings with suspicion. Let yourself be more vulnerable. Complain less by considering how little criticism you receive, though you are unworthy, compared with Christ, who is perfectly worthy.

Find some accountability partners to monitor your reactions. Seek the wisdom and courage needed to penetrate the insulation around your ego. Don’t be afraid to say, “I was wrong; will you forgive me?”

6. Consider the content. You can learn valuable truths about yourself from critics. Be grateful for that. Some of our best friends are those who disagree with us lovingly, openly, and intelligently. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). Helpful criticism is like good medicine.

David Pawlison writes, “Critics, like governing authorities, are servants of God to you for good (Rom. 13:4). He who sees into hearts uses critics to help us see things in ourselves: outright failings of faith and practice, distorted emphases, blind spots, areas of neglect, attitudes and actions contradictory to stated commitments, and, yes, strengths and significant contributions.”

http://www.banneroftruth.org/pages/articles/article_detail.php?565

Woundedness

2011-10-24T01:02:00.000-07:00

So beautifully put by Jim Wright, and i found this on his blog: http://crossroadjunction.com/2009/04/21/woundedness/

Woundedness
APRIL 21, 2009 BY JIM WRIGHT 10 COMMENTS

On Sunday I taught men in the jail, using Psalms 116:5-7 (ESV), about moving from woundedness to life. I challenged them not to settle for mere comfort when confronting hurt, but to embrace life instead.

Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
our God is merciful.
The LORD preserves the simple;
when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return, O my soul, to your rest;
for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

When hurt and wounded, too often all we can muster is a desire for God’s comfort or soothing presence. Although he’ll sometimes do that, what he really wants is to move us past woundedness into brokenness – that low place where we are willing to surrender to him. Only then can we hope to experience the bountiful life, both in us and around us, that comes from finding and finally doing God’s joyous will.

Many Christians confuse woundedness with brokenness, but they are not the same. Woundedness is hurt and self, while brokenness is surrender and God’s will. The main thing that separates woundedness and brokenness is pride.

Brokenness, as opposed to woundedness, happens when we are finally stripped of our pride – sometimes due to pure exhaustion.

Short of total capitulation from hitting absolute bottom, we typically don’t reach brokenness. Instead, we resist by wrapping our woundedness around us like a cloak of honor. It becomes our old familiar friend and part of our self-sustaining identity. Often, we deceive ourselves into believing that our success at enduring hurt and pain comes from spiritual maturity or strength, when it really comes from numbness and shutting down our heart. Sometimes, we even parade out our “humble” wounds in public as a plea for sympathy and to avoid the changes God wants of us.

Such pride traps us in woundedness.

Pride wants God merely to affirm or sooth us in our pain, while we stay in control. It makes us unwilling to go to the source of the pain, where we hurt the most. That place, however, is where God patiently waits to meet us and heal us – not by merely comforting us, but by fundamentally transforming who we are by changing how we think and what we believe.

We know when we’ve reached brokenness, as opposed to woundedness, when we experience “simple”. Simple happens when we’ve found the core of who God created us to be, with nothing left of our own will to get in the way. At “simple”, we begin discovering who we really are, based on God’s perspective and not our’s, minus the clutter of our own expectations and all of the “ought’s” that we’ve imposed on ourselves and others.

When we get to “simple”, God can begin to remake and transform us into the men and women he uniquely designed us to be.

As I explained in the jail:

Only at “simple” can we find the core of who we were created to be…
Only at “simple” can we begin to become complete and whole individuals…
Only at “simple” can we finally begin to accept God’s will, rather than our own will (however well intended)…
Only at “simple” can we discover, through him, the unique qualities and desires he created in us and intends for us…
Only at “simple” can we find bountiful life.
Life, however, can be very scary to a hurting person, because life always involves change and hurting people often lack the energy to embrace change.

Getting to life, as intended by God, requires total capitulation and, in our capitulation, total trust that he won’t leave us vulnerable if we meet him at the source of our pain. If we are willing to trust God by meeting him there in brokenness, and then get to “simple” where we can begin to hear and embrace what he wants to say about who we really are – rather than trying to hold onto who we think we are or we think he wants us to be – life will begin springing up in us and around us.

The process of finding life and refilling our emotional wells may take time – often even years – but our souls will find rest as we finally begin experiencing life as God planned it. After all, it usually takes years for our emotional wells to run dry, and it is rare for them to refill overnight.

The choice is ours: A downward spiral of woundedness producing exhaustion and more hurt, or the renewing spiral of life – as God intended us to live it – which then produces even more life.

I don’t know about you, but I chose – and continue to choose – life.

(c) Copyright 2009, Fulcrum Ministries. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday Drive/Sunday Sharing

2011-10-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

This blog will be quite long because it has Saturday and Sunday's happenings together. Hope you can stay with it because the best is last!

For the sake of not typing out everyone's name in our family. Here are the 'codes':
DH - Darling Husband
DD - Darling Daughter
DS - Darling Son

So today we had planned to stay in, sleep in, and catch up on our rest this weekend. DH has not been feeling well with sinus congestion. He had a great week of work orientation with his now job, but over the weekend his sinuses began to act up. We are all still battling the upper respiratory crud...takes time to get that worked out. It turned rather cold here, got below freezing one night this week. Burrrrrrrrr.... Where's the BEACH! ;)

It has been a whirlwind with moving to a new state, and getting unpacked. I'm happy to say that I only have 3 more boxes to unpack. We have so many books that were packed up... Gave so many books away, and we're going to need another bookshelf for our den to hold the books we kept. Looks like we will also need a wall mount for our TV. The Fireplace mantel is very narrow and will not hold our television. We have a list of 'needed' things that we will just have to ck off as we can aquire them.

One thing I did purchase was a shower curtain for the children's bathroom. All they had before was a clear liner, which was torn away from the rings on each end. This one is pretty cute. (Thanks Lindsay for helping us narrow it down) TJ Maxx has super deals on their clearance and bundle racks. I love that place and glad there is one here where we live. My DD and I found the curtain, and then went next door to Big Lots (or Odd Lots as DH's father used to call it)

Here's a pic...the green bath mat towel does not go. lol I'd love to get some of these... Click Here to See! I've purchased these for family members, and I think I shall purchase some at some point for us! I like the dark chocolate brown ones for the children's bathroom and our master. The downstairs...probably will get the light green or cream color. Probably cream. All of the tile in all bathrooms are large shiny marble looking tiles with dark brown, cream and light brown veins running thru. It's really pretty. Everything is just neutral browns and beige. Which is what we run into with renting. I'm so ready for COLOR someday! Until then, I'll keep accenting with my color decor.

Saturday our family slept in and then we took a drive after lunch. I have a bunch of pics from Sat.'s drive, but they are probably going to look smallish here on my blog. However, will still share them for those of my family and friends who do not have Facebook.

We left out and this is the beauty we saw on our way out....which eventually led us to beautiful fiery trees of Harvest Gold, Orange and Red. Wow!

This is what a beautiful tree, with vibrant yellow leaves looks like when the driver of the car is not leisurely driving...but flying by the scenery...lol

The man behind the wheel eventually slowed down, when he got us to where he was going.....

After much driving through valleys and up mountains, we came to this small town. Before we drove through it (if you blinked you would miss it), we saw a pumpkin festival going on right outside of the little town. I wanted to stop, but I was outvoted. ;)

Instead, DH wanted to take us to see more views that he had seen while in orientation for his new job. We wound up at a cemetary. I was like...a cemetary???? Sort of unusual (keep in mind DH is a Hospice Chaplain and he view deaths as very sacred- a cemetary is a peaceful place to him). Also, the view was quite spectacular from that spot....

Driving up into the cemetary we saw beautiful red leaves on this tree...

One view from cemetary......

Another spectacular view from standing in the gazebo of the cemetary......

Being in the cemetary was hard for me, yet healing for me at the same time. My DD and I got out of the car and walked together while I took some pics with my cell phone. We were both feeling sorrow over some losses, without us even talking about them. We pulled together, and I took this pic of us together....

Just when things seemed a little heavy and sad.....we drove by this....

Now I am in 'no way' disrespecting this family and their loss, but something about this God used to give our family a little comic relief. We have experienced much loss....of family and friend in the past yrs.... When we all looked at that stone, we all thought of Scooby Doo, and how he says, Rut Rough Raggy...and the irony of this led us into much spontaneous laughter. I think God likes laugher. He has a sense of humor, and created us to have one too.

Had to grab one more shot of this water tower...I just loved the rust and color of it...standing tall in the midst of such a colorful backdrop of trees...

On our way out, we stopped at a country store and bought some coca cola's in little glass bottles...

We thought of our precious GaGa. He loved cola in glass bottles, fried pies and moon pies. I was VERY thankful for that coke, which settled my stomach before the tight winding road we ended up on. DH thought he had been on this road. I'm telling you, it was a winding winding tight mountain road. I got a little 'green' with car sickness. The coke to sip on was a blessing.

Then.....we ended up WAY LOST on a dirt road....

...for a LONG TIME we were on this dirt road......which kept breaking out into AMAZING views...

Eventually we found our way back to civilization. I'm telling you, it was not right away....we sure had to trust that we would get there, and we got into some desolate places! Whew! lol

We came to this tree.........I SO LOVE this TREE!!!

Now, on to TODAY, Sunday.

We had 'planned' to sleep in again. We had planned to be together as a family, and take it easy. The past months and weeks leading up to the move have been stressful to say the least. On top of that, our whole family got sick the week DH left to begin work, which was the same week I had to finish up the packing and preparing for movers...with pneumonia. Not fun, so we wanted to stay in and heal.

However, it so happens that our master bedroom is FULLY LIGHTED EARLY in the morning. Even with blinds, it is BRIGHT. We were up by 8 am. Our DD's room is on the same side of the house, so she was up as early. Getting DS awake was a little more of a challenge, but he did get moving pretty quick.

We visited a church that my DH had found on the website, back when he was checking out the new area, before we moved. Every time we visited the site, there was so much about it that reminded us of Harvest Church and Mountain Grove Church. Not that we can ever find the same churches exactly....but something about it just seemed right. When we drove by the church last week, it seemed much different than the website. When we got INTO the building.... what loving people.

We were greated warmly. Even as FULL as the service was, we were greated by ALL of the leaders. They saught us out and noticed we were new, and greeted us. They were INTERESTED in us, and it really showed. They touched us with pats on the back and sincere conversations...and weren't afraid to show the love of God in action.

What blew our minds......well, several things actually!!!

First, it felt very 'familiar'. I think God does that when you are in the place HE wants you to be for that moment. I'm not saying this is 'the place' we are going to make our church home yet. We need to visit places, and pray pray pray!

The service opened with a BEAUTIFUL worship dance!!! OH I wish I had recorded it with my phone. If they do this dance again, I will!!!! (Sarge, you would have LOVE It!!) It was so anointed. They used flags and tamborines...wow!!! Here is the song they danced to....the words so ministered to our family....anointed and I hope they will do it again sometime!

During praise and worship, the Holy Spirit flowed so freely. Actually their service reminded me of some services I've seen online at Bethel in California. How many people go down front to worship...their songs, etc.

Here are the songs that were sung during worship this morning....we felt right at home because Harvest Church had introduced us to many of these songs. ;) Thank you God for these words in song...such comfort and reminders from the Lord especially with where our family is at right now:

This was AWESOME when they sang it....

Third song.....and could not believe they did this one today......... Wow God! I've LOVED this ever since I heard it at Harvest Church...

His LOVE NEVER FAILS it NEVER GIVES UP, it NEVER RUNS OUT ON ME! I never have to be afraid...this ONE THING REMAINS!

Ok, this was totally amazing and such a God moment! My DD had a dream last night. She woke up singing a song. At a point in the service this song was played!!!! She had a dream where the enemy was really attacking her at the core of her giftings and her heart to encourage others, and she woke up singing this song. God was reminding her of WHO she is in HIM even as she was waking up. I had also been very attacked by the enemy this week...the enemy IS the accuser of the brethren.

Anyway, so, DD woke up singing this song, THEN it was played in the service today! How cool is that?? Only God can orchestrate what He did today!

I needed to hear it too. Here it is......

The message was on being HIS BELOVED. There was so much greatness of God in that message today. What a compassionate, passionate, and loving message today. The Pastor shared parts of a song with us by Misty Edwards on what love really is:

Here are some notes from the message today:
Love is what Jesus showed us on the cross. It is willing to be....... Arms Wide Open, A Heart Exposed, and Bleeding...Sometimes Bleeding. Jesus was our example. We must keep our arms wide open to people, we must be willing to allow people to expose the truth of their hearts while still accepting them where they are at...sometimes we bleed..allow them to bleed. By HIS stripes we are healed. It isn't anything WE do for someone else, but what we allow Christ to do through us as we love others....as we hold them, cry with them, for however long it takes for them. God loves THRU people. It was so refreshing to hear this. These are all quotes from the pastor I am typing previously and now... Love is the key to disclosure, in the purity of love. Only the emotion of love will overcome fear. Open your heart, let love in. Love others, and let others love you. There is no fear in true God passion love. Ministry is holding someone while they open their heart, while they are bleeding....ministry is holding one another through it and allowing Christ to do the healing. He also mentioned a quote about, "A Lover OUTWORKS a worker". When someone is doing something with love, they will last and they will have passion. They won't give up on someone else. Paul boasted in his weaknesses, he gloried in them because he knew in his weakness, Christ's strength would be revealed. Our heart is like a mirror to others. God always makes room for others. There is room for me. I am a delight in everything I bring in the name of the Lord. God pursues us through people. He referenced the pepsi commercial of the puppies in pursuit....Click HERE and you can see the Puppies in Pursuit. See the end how the puppies shower with love...

This is how God pursues us and how HE uses people to pursue us with His love. Lay down our walls in our relationships. It is about HIM but it is also about US. He uses US to be His love. Emotions are not bad. Too many times we shut them off. His love for us is passionate and he delights spending time with us, and the body of Christ should delight spending time with one another. And be sad when we have to go away. (It helped me so much to hear these words because I do have sorrow that we had to go away, and God was saying to me this morning...you are OK to feel that!) He said that knowledge makes arrogance, but love always edifies. The scriptures He referenced in this message were:

Romans 1:7
Song of Solomon 4:8
Song of Solomon 7:10
Matthew 13:44
Jeremiah 31:3
Psalm 23:6
John 3:16
Romans 5:8
Hebrews 13:5-6
John 15:15
1 John 4:18
Romans 5:5
1 Corinthians 8:1-3
1 John 4:18
1 John 4:19

He said, "Where fear restrains us, we can hear Your Heartbeat God."

Here was the ending song of the sermon:

The Pastor finished with reminding us who were are in Christ. "Beloved" Our identity of being His Beloved. Also, he shared a story about his brother who died (I think pretty recently but he was in his 50's when he died). He had alzheimer's, and shrank to look like a 90 yr old man. After he died, his wife was in the shower crying out, and when she opened her eyes, she saw her husband...and he said these words to her:

"Pain will make you strong. Great pain will make you invincible. Be invincible for Him."

If we had slept in, we would have missed all of these wonderful words God wanted to share with us to encourage our hearts. Thanks God for loving us that much! He also brought up Romans 8:28 :)

Dealing with Your Anger

2011-10-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

God really used this to encourage me today, and I found it on the Family Life website. I'm sharing it because maybe it will encourage someone out there as well.

I believe God led me to this. I was doing some research during my bible study time, and God led me right to this article. It really helped me with overcoming my disappointments, pain, wrongs done to me...and to deal with my embittered and angry heart.

Forgive me for the ways my anger has spilled out through my words, actions and attitudes. Thank you God for patiently dealing with me, and lovingly correcting me.

Dealing with Your Anger
If you don't learn how to handle anger, you will constantly hurt others.
by David Powlison

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

What makes you angry? Are they small things, like traffic jams, lines at the grocery store, not being able to find a shoe, a waiter’s mistake, or a friend’s inattention?

Are they big things, like when someone betrays you? Experiences of injustice, meanness, violence, oppression, selfishness, or lying?

How do you deal with your anger? Do you explode? Does everyone around you know when and why you are angry? Or are you more subtle?

Do you get irritated and short with those around you? Do you gossip and complain about your spouse, children, coworkers, and friends? Or maybe you just turn your anger in on yourself and become depressed and bitter.

You might have noticed that you can’t avoid dealing with your anger. Anger is an inevitable response to living in a troubled world where things can and do go wrong all the time.

But if you don’t learn how to deal with your anger, you will constantly hurt others. You will poison your own heart. You will estrange yourself from God. God cares about what makes you angry, and God cares about how you express anger.

Common advice

Some counselors notice that people get tied up in knots when they hide or stuff their anger. They will tell you to deal with your anger by getting in touch with how you feel and then expressing it. “Get it off your chest. Say exactly what you think. Give ‘em a piece of your mind.”

Other counselors have noticed how destructive people become when they express anger. They will counsel you to control your anger. Psychotherapy, medication, exercise, and meditation are just some of the different ways they recommend for defusing your anger and calming yourself down.

So which is it, venting or calming?

Actually, God has a different way for you to deal with your anger. He knows well that stuffing your anger deep inside is destructive. And just learning tricks for keeping calm never discovers the purpose for which God designed anger. Anger needs to be acknowledged and expressed in a positive way, as a form of doing what is good and right.

At the same time, God knows well that venting your anger is destructive. Instead of expressing your anger in ways that hurt those around you, it is possible to express your anger in a way that actually redeems difficult situations and relationships.

How does this happen? It starts with understanding what anger is, where it comes from, and how a right relationship with God will actually change the way you view and express your anger.

What is anger?

Anger is your God-given capacity to respond to a wrong that you think is important. It always expresses two things:

It identifies something in your world that matters to you.
It proclaims that you believe that something is wrong.

This could be something as minor as being served a cold cup of coffee at a restaurant. Or it could be something as major as your spouse running off with your best friend.

God also gets angry at things that are wrong in this world. Your capacity to be angry is an expression of being made in His image. So when you get angry, you are not necessarily wrong. But often anger does go wrong.

Getting angry about things that don’t matter

God’s anger is always holy and pure because what He says is wrong is wrong, and what He says matters, does matter. God is rightly displeased when people are harmed and hurt by others. Romans 13:10 (ESV) tells us, “Love does no wrong to a neighbor” while Romans 12:17 says, “Repay no one evil for evil.” Two wrongs never make a right, and our anger often simply doubles the wrong. But God’s anger makes right what is wrong (Romans 12:19).

One difference between our anger and God’s anger is that, since we aren’t always holy and pure, we often get angry at things that aren’t true wrongs … or at things that don’t really matter to anyone but us. If you throw a tantrum when you are served cold food in a restaurant, or curse when you are stuck in traffic, you should recognize that these are not things that really matter in God’s world.

God explains to us in the Bible why we get angry at things that don’t really matter to anyone but us. The apostle Paul uses the phrase “desire of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16) to describe where our wrong anger comes from. You and I get angry because of what we desire (what we expect, want, and believe we need) to happen in a certain situation or relationship.

Think about the last time you got angry. Underneath your feelings, words, and actions is something you wanted but didn’t get. Respect, affirmation, power, convenience, cooperation, help, money, comfort, intimacy, peace, pleasure, identity, safety … what is it that you want? And how do you respond when you don’t get it? Anger going wrong loudly tells the world, “I want my way! My will be done!”

Wanting a good thing more than God

Sometimes you want good things. It’s not wrong to want your husband to love and listen to you. It’s not wrong to want your children to respect and obey you. It’s not wrong to want your boss to be honest with you. It’s not wrong to want a warm meal and a hot cup of coffee, or to get to your appointment rather than getting stuck in traffic.

But when fulfilling your desires, even for a good thing, becomes more important than anything else, that’s when it changes into a “desire of the flesh.” You want it too much. When you don’t get what you want, demand, believe you need, and think you deserve, your anger flares up.

James, in the letter he wrote to the early church, said this about where wrong anger comes from: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel” (James 4:1-2). When you want anything, even a good thing more than God, you will get angry when you don’t get it or it’s taken away from you.

Responding to a true wrong in the wrong way

And sometimes you are right to be angry because you are experiencing a true wrong. Then the problem is not the fact of getting angry, but how you express that anger. It’s not right for someone to tailgate you, recklessly and aggressively endangering you and your family. It’s not right when your spouse is indifferent or inconsiderate. It’s not right if your boss treats you unfairly or your child refuses to obey. It’s not right when you are abused or attacked.

Anger has been given to us by God as the way to say, “That’s not right and that matters.” In our broken world, you will have many good reasons to be angry. But, because we are part of the broken world, we express our anger at true wrongs in the wrong way. We blow up. We get irritated. We gossip. We complain. We hold a grudge. We shut people out. We get even. We become embittered, cynical, hostile. Something really wrong happened … and we become really wrong in reaction.

Taking God’s place

What’s behind your wrong anger? When you get angry, aren’t you taking God’s place and judging others—and perhaps even judging God? Whether you are angry about something trivial or something serious, your wrong reaction reveals that you are living as if you are in charge of the world and believe you have the right to judge the people around you and the way God is running the world.

When James 4 talks about anger, it goes on to discuss why it’s wrong to judge and criticize others: “There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12). God alone has the right to pass final judgment.

Think about when you get angry. Aren’t you insisting, “My will be done; my kingdom come”? And when things don't go your way, don’t you judge those (including God) who are not doing what you want, as if you were God? You aren’t, but when you are angry, you often act as if you were.

Because your wrong anger has to do with your relationship with God, you can’t deal with it by learning a few strategies or techniques. Wrong anger creates a big problem between you and God. He doesn’t like upstarts who try to take over His universe.

Your anger is not just about you and all the frustrating things that happen to you. It’s not just about you and your cranky, oppositional personality. And it’s not just about you and all the unreasonable people in your life. It’s about you, those frustrating circumstances, all those unreasonable people … and the living God. It’s about you acting like you are in charge of God’s world and other people. But God is in charge.

Acting as if you are God—pride—is the beating heart of what it means to be a sinner. This insight into anger is hugely freeing, and very sobering. Anger going wrong testifies to pride. When you see yourself as a sinner—instead of focusing on how everyone around you is wrong—then God’s grace and mercy is available to you. God’s mercy is for those who honestly confess their sins to Him and ask for the grace to change. That’s how James 4 continues: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6; see 4:7-10 for more details of what’s involved in turning to God).

Anger is merciless. Anger sees, punishes, and gets rid of all offenders. But God has chosen to be merciful to wrongdoers, including someone like you, who struggles with taking God’s place in the world (Ephesians 2:1-5).

God’s mercy brings life to you. If you struggle with bitterness, if you grumble, if you yell and argue, then you need God’s mercy. You will receive mercy and help when you confess to God your struggle with trying to control everything, with wanting to be God, and with judging those around you. God’s just anger toward sinners like you was poured out on his Son on the cross. Because Jesus died, you can be forgiven and have a whole new life.

When you honestly confess your sins to God and ask Him to forgive you for Jesus’ sake, you will receive forgiveness and the gift of God’s Spirit. The Spirit will give you the power to express your anger, not your way, but God’s way.

God’s anger is redemptive. How does God respond when something important in His world is wrong? He responds redemptively. Is God angry when people act like they are god, playing false to Him and bringing grief to themselves to others? Yes. But how did God express that anger? By sending His very own Son to this broken world to be broken on the cross. He sacrificed Christ so that His people can be forgiven, transformed, and restored to a right relationship with Him and with others.

Your anger can also result in redemption. When you come to God and find forgiveness for Jesus’ sake, you will be filled with God’s Spirit. Then it will be possible for you also to respond redemptively when you are angry. You can learn to say, “That’s wrong,” without ranting or exaggerating what happened or calling someone names or cursing or hating the person.

What matters to God will matter to you. Being filled with the Spirit means that everything about you will start to resemble God. Instead of responding with sinful anger to unimportant things, you will start to see your life from God’s perspective. You will begin to care about things that truly matter, instead of reacting to relatively unimportant things.

Jesus, when He was on earth, was not a stoic. No one cared more than He did about the things that were wrong in this world. He cared so much that He gave His life to right those wrongs. But He was driven by faith and love, not by pettiness, hostility, and aggression. Becoming like God means that you will care about the things Jesus cares about—the things that truly matter in God’s world.

Becoming like God also means that when you see a true wrong, you will learn to respond the way God does. When God sees a true wrong He responds constructively. He has done this towards us, by naming our wrongs clearly, and then offering us what we do not deserve. Here are some ways that God responds constructively to a true wrong:

God is patient. Patience literally means slow to anger. God is described in the Old Testament as “slow to anger” (Exodus 34:6). Learning to be “slow to anger” means living in a world that has things wrong in it—an unloving spouse, an unfair boss, a disrespectful teenager—and being willing to stay in difficult situations and relationships for the long haul.

Why? Because you realize that you live in God’s world, not your own, and though this wrong needs to be addressed, your call from God is to persevere in addressing it constructively, patiently, and kindly.

God is merciful. Mercy is a way of looking at something that is wrong and saying, “I’m going to tackle that to make it better.” The mercy of God is a constructive displeasure. God could respond with wrath, but instead He sets about making right what is wrong.

Because God is merciful, He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. His just anger was poured out on Jesus. God’s mercy means you are spared the consequences of your rebellion against Him. As you experience God’s mercy, you will learn to be merciful. Instead of angrily judging others, you will roll up your sleeves and help to right the wrongs you see.

God is forgiving. God’s forgiveness doesn’t make what was wrong okay. He names what is wrong (including our wrongful anger!), and deals with the wrong by paying the price Himself. Forgiveness is a way to be displeased in a constructive way. Instead of insisting on justice right now, forgiveness acknowledges the wrong and lets it go. When you love your enemy by treating him or her kindly, you are overcoming evil with good. Loving someone who’s done wrong is the way to overcome that wrong.

God confronts in love. There is a place for a right kind of anger, an anger whose purpose is love. Because God lovingly confronts, so can you. For example, abusers and those who do evil to others should be brought to justice. It is both constructive and loving for wrongdoers to face the consequences of their wrongs. If your child is disrespectful, you should be upset, and there should be consequences. But what do you do with that upset?

Do you rant and rave? Become physically abusive? No, your anger can be constructively expressed as a clear reprimand and fair consequences. You are forceful, but your forcefulness is motivated by love for your child.

Godly anger constructively engages what is wrong in a way that is patient, merciful, forgiving, and honest in tackling what needs tackling. Our sinful anger causes hurt, destruction, and alienation. Godly anger becomes an instrument in God’s hands to make this bad world better.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

God’s ways of dealing with wrong are wonderful and surprising, combining firmness with gentleness, honesty with forgiveness. But how do you put them into practice? How do you learn to let go of your wrong anger and express just anger constructively? The Apostle Paul offers practical help in his letter to the Ephesians. He has this to say about handling your anger:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 4:29-5:2

Paul starts by telling us how not to express our anger. First, he says we are not to keep to ourselves and brood (“put away bitterness”). Second, he says we are not to go to the other person and dump our anger (“wrath and anger”). Finally, we shouldn’t go to others who aren’t involved and gossip (“clamor and slander”).

So, if you can’t stuff your anger, or blow up, or gossip, what’s left? You have to go to God for help. As you go to Him, you will learn how to think through your angry reactions, how to go to other people in such a way that you’re actually asking for help, and how to go to the other person in a way that’s constructive. Your anger will be transformed when you understand deep in your heart how God, in Christ, treats you. God’s patience, mercy, forgiveness, and loving confrontation will only become real in your life as your relationship with Him grows. Start with an honest meeting with God.

Here are five questions to ask yourself, and then one thing you need to do that will direct your honest meeting with God.

1. What is happening around me when I get angry? What pushes your buttons? Think of specific times when you become angry. Make a list of the last five times you got angry, or keep track of the next five times. Describe what was going on around you. Now look back at the ways your anger went wrong. Sort out your list into the different ways that anger can go either wrong or right.

When did you get angry at something that doesn’t really matter in God’s world? When did you get angry because you had made a good thing more important than God? And, when did you get angry because you were truly wronged?

2. How do I act when I get angry? Look at your list and write down what you do when your anger goes wrong. Do you express your anger in bitterness (stuffing your anger)? In arguing (in expressing your anger freely to those around you)? In slander (gossiping and talking about those who have wronged you)? Or in some combination of all three?

Be detailed in your description of how your wrongful anger gets expressed. Were there any times when anger actually was an expression of love, not hate, and was expressed constructively?

3. What were my expectations (what did I want, need, demand) when I became angry? Examining your motives brings God into the discussion, because it reveals what hijacked God’s place in your heart. Your answer will show you where you need God’s help the most. This will take your focus off the circumstances that were the occasion for your anger and help you to think about why you believed you had a right to be angry and had a right to express your anger in the way you did.

4. What message does God have for me, in His word, that will speak to my anger? Think back to what James says about the cause of anger. We get sinfully angry when we forget that God, not us, is in charge of the world. If you remember that this is God’s kingdom and not yours, the way you deal with your anger will be hugely affected. When you add to that an understanding of your real sins, then you will also see how God, in Christ, is tender-hearted and forgiving to you. Your anger will be transformed.

Remembering the height, the depth, the width, and the length of God’s love and mercy toward you will put your circumstances and your angry response in the right perspective. Meditating on your need for mercy and God’s forgiveness will remind you that no matter what is making you angry, it’s so much less than what you have been given in Christ.

Turn to the God who loves you and tell Him all about what is making you angry. Name your suffering, your expectations, your desires, your sins, and all the evil you see and do, and bring yourself to the One who suffered and died for you.

God has given us the Book of Psalms so that we have many different ways of talking with God about the things that really matter to us. Some psalms speak to God about our sins (Psalms 32 and 51). Other psalms speak about suffering injustice at the hands of others (Psalms 10 and 31). And many psalms speak of both (Psalms 25 and 119).

All the psalms speak of God, and reveal what He is like and what we need from Him, and how we express love for Him. The psalms are poetic, but they are not poetry; they are living examples given to teach us how to talk honestly with God about things that matter. Your relationship with a living Person is what sets the Bible’s approach to anger apart from self-help books, medications, and mind control. Being in relationship with the living God is what will gradually change your anger from destructive to constructive.

5. What am I called to do? Your relationship with God will always lead you to your relationship with people. If you have gone through all these questions, then you don’t need a prescription that says, “Do A, B, and C.” Because you are in relationship with a living Person, there will be a living quality to your wisdom.

Perhaps at the moment you complain about the waitress and cold coffee, you will realize, You know what? That was just so selfish. Lord have mercy upon me. And then you might even turn to the people you’re eating dinner with and say, “You know, my attitude really stunk there. I’m sorry.” And you should apologize to the waitress, too! Think of how that will make her day—a customer willing to treat her like a person, not just whine because of entitlement and self-righteousness. Then bring up the problem of the cold coffee in a reasonable way.

No one can write the script for you on how to deal with your anger. But every time you notice that you are angry, go through those questions. Then remind yourself of God’s message of love and mercy to you. As you keep going to Jesus with everything in your heart, you will notice that, step by small step, real change is happening.

Your willingness to be mastered by Jesus and to make following Him your first priority will allow you to imitate Him in expressing your anger in a redemptive way. Then your conflicts won’t end with slammed doors and hurt silences. Instead there will be a constructive back-and-forth dialogue that is colored by mercy and a desire for each of you to grow in God’s image. Your real, living relationship with the God who loves you to the utmost will allow you to grow in having real human relationships where the conflicts you have will become an opportunity for growth, understanding, and expressing the fruits of the Spirit.

FREQUENTLY-ASKED QUESTIONS

My mom said I was a cranky baby, and I have been easily irritated my whole life. Is it possible for me to stop being so angry?

One of the wonderful things about God is that our characteristic struggles are not news to Him. There are some people who are more feisty and irritable than others. Each of us has one or two areas where we are most likely to struggle. For you it is in the area of anger. Others might struggle with fear, or comfort, or lust, or worries about money.

Your goal should not be to find the answer to your struggle, as if you could solve an anger problem once and for all. Instead your struggle with anger can prove to be the door through which you learn to depend on God. Your irritability shows you how much you need God. Because of it you can see that you need His mercy, His forgiveness, and His help every day. Others who struggle with fear learn the same things as their fears bring them to their need to ask God for help.

Go to God with your struggle. As you learn and practice the principles in this article, you will grow in self-knowledge and in your ability to be peaceable and to tackle the problems of life constructively rather than destructively.

Finally, all of our sins express how something potentially good has gone bad. We’ve mentioned how even anger can be something right and constructive. The good part in your struggle with wrongful anger is that you probably have been given a strong sense of justice and fairness. As you grow in wisdom and self control, your desire for justice will be expressed not in irritation at the people around you, but in a willingness to work with them to right the wrongs that you see. Perhaps without fully noticing it, you will become part of a constructive solution instead of a destructive force who makes things worse.

Jesus says, “Blessed are the peace-makers (not the peace-lovers or peace-keepers who always avoid conflicts) because they will be called the sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). God uses his sense of justice and fairness to go to work at making peace with us, and then teaching us to make peace with each other. His children become like Him.

-------------------------

© Copyright 2010 by the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

For more help on anger, read Anger: Escaping the Maze, by David Powlison, or Freedom from Resentment, by Robert T. Jones, both from New Growth Press.

More information about the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation is available at its website. To look at all available CCEF resources, visit New Growth Press.

David Powlison, M.Div., Ph.D., is a faculty member and counselor at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF) with over thirty years of experience. He has written several books, including The Biblical Counseling Movement: History and Context; Seeing with New Eyes; and Speaking Truth in Love; and numerous minibooks, including Breaking the Addictive Cycle; Facing Death with Hope; Grieving a Suicide; Healing after Abortion; I’m Exhausted: What to Do When You’re Always Tired; I Just Want to Die: Replacing Suicidal Thoughts with Hope; Life Beyond Your Parents’ Mistakes; Recovering from Child Abuse; Renewing Marital Intimacy; Sexual Addiction: Freedom from Compulsive Behavior; and Sexual Assault: Healing Steps for Victims.

That is All

2011-10-19T05:21:00.001-07:00

I am sad and that is all!

Unloaded

2011-10-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

Blogging is helping me get my feelings sorted out... I guess. It is a neutral way to get things out without hearing back a lot of judgement of how I should and shouldn't be acting right now.

Sunday was the children and my last day at Harvest. So bittersweet. Our Pastors took care of us our last days in that city. I can't think of a more beautiful place or more special people to spend our last days with. Their home is on the water... So peaceful and beautiful scenery. I love them very much and thankful we could stay with them as I finished up our move.... Movers packed Thurs loaded Fri, cleaners came that afternoon to clean our home...Sat carpet cleaners came. It was hard to see this home we know God gave us... All empty and vacant. I miss it. Miss the people already. Miss our church.

Sunday after church we drove 4.5 hrs to my mother-in-law's home. My husband was there to meet up with us. We saw family out at our family farm and had a hot dog roast for our little cousin's birthday. Then got up next morning 4:30am to drive 2.5 more hours to our new location in VA. Movers arrived around 9am to unload everything into our new place. Yesterday was not a good day for me. Tired and tearful. Don't really want to talk to too many people about how deeply this is effecting me. In so many different ways. God knows.

This is going to take some time. Yes I have plenty to be thankful for and I AM thankful! Yes it should be an adventure and make it fun. It is something that is going to take some time to adjust to. God will help me sort it all out. The Holy Spirit is my comforter and will bring the comfort I need. As I was doing a devotional today, I flipped back to some previous days and this verse jumped out at me and it brought me much comfort:

Mark 8:34 ~And Jesus called [to Him] the throng with His disciples and said to them, If anyone intends to come after Me, let him deny himself [forget, ignore, disown, and lose sight if himself and his own interests] and take up his cross, and [joining Me as a disciple and siding with My party] follow with Me [continually, cleaving steadfastly to Me].

Another verse that brought me comfort:

John 16:7 ~However, I am telling you nothing but the truth when I say it is profitable (good, expedient, advantageous) for you that I go away. Because if I do not go away, the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby) will not come to you [into close fellowship with you]; but if I go away, I will send Him to you [to be in close fellowship with you].

Sorry for typos or grammar errors. Typed all of this from iPhone. Our computers not hooked up yet. Also if you are reading this, I deactivated my Facebook for awhile. Just don't feel like chatting or being on there right now. Dealing with my sadness.

Tuesday

2011-10-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is Tuesday already!! I was so hoping to have been farther along with getting things ready for the movers. Being sick has really set me back.

Yesterday afternoon I did not get the needed rest, with running around and spending hours in Dr's offices and pharmacies, it was late afternoon around suppertime before we made it home.

All during the night I coughed and think I've pulled something in my upper back, from coughing.

There is still a lot of congestion rolling around in the lungs. I could feel it moving last night....lots of wheezing sounds, and gurgling sounds kept me up as I was trying to breathe. Wheezing sounds mixed with coughing fits and running to the restroom. Yuk!

This morning my left ear feels plugged up. Probably from all of the coughing, I blew out an ear drum. lol

I'm going to try to do a few things today...work at a slow pace and try not to get overheated. It is difficult to do, because I get winded so easily with this pneumonia.

My son looked pitiful last night. He was 'out of it', and ran a fever. My daughter is doing pretty well. She coughed some, and mainly her throat is bothering her. Neither of them tested positive for strep, so that was good.

I'm looking forward to all of us HEALING from this crud!

I'm thankful that the movers will be doing most of the work, but my husband and I both agree... if I can get as much as possible packed up, it will help the movers along to load everything more quickly. This will help the whole process along.

I just love the Psalms...how real David is. He is my kind of brother! ;)

Psalm 123 (ESV)
1 To you I lift up my eyes,
O You who are enthroned in the heavens!
2 Behold, as the eyes of servants
look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maidservant
to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the LORD our God,
till he has mercy upon us.

Losing Days

2011-10-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

So... I've only got two more days to get everything ready for the movers. They come on Thurs to pack and load everything. The timing is so tight between the house cleaners and carpet cleaners that I'm having to pack up as much as I can to help the movers along. They were going to pack everything and load everything for us, but it will cut out a lot of time if I can get as much packed up as possible. Plus, it will save the company some money as well.

I had made some good progress last couple of weeks with going through our rooms and garages. Then last week, cleaned out the attic, more sifting out things in the garage. Finished packing up Josh's room. Jordan's room is done. She did hers over a week ago and she is good to go. The last I need to do is pack up my bedroom, closet, kitchen, linen closet, and bathrooms and extra closet in bathroom. The bathrooms will be easy...not much there.

In the midst of this move, I started getting sick last week. I noticed some shortness of breath, headache, fatique. Over the weekend it turned into walking pneumonia. Yesterday I honestly thought about calling 911. Jordan said my face was turning bright red because I could not breath in, felt like I was suffocating. I'd say night before last, thru yesterday were my worst with the wheezing and difficulty breathing, fever and headache.

I got into a clinic today and they prescribed some heavy duty meds. My blood pressure was up too. Hope the meds will knock this out because I only have a few more days here to get things done!

I'm so sad that I was unable to attend church yesterday. We have a guest speaker here, and I was looking forward to hearing this man. He will be speaking tonight as well, but Dr.'s orders are for me to stay in bed one more day (at least) and rest, or I could end up in the hospital. Both of my children are also sick..my son is much worse. They both have appointments today at 1:30.

I'm so tired! Hope I can make the drive...so so weak. I'll have to make it through their appointments before I can rest. Between this sickness, I've not been able to work on packing the house for 3 days now....which puts me under pressure to get everything done in less days.

Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings...

2011-10-04T07:03:00.001-07:00

My feelings are so extremely up and down these days. One day I am so hopeful and excited about the move... what God has for us in this new place we are moving. Then the next, I am sad and tearful...thinking about missing many things here and many wonderful people God has brought into our path. I am constantly reminding myself that none of this is about me or what I feel. It is all about putting God FIRST above friends and even family. We must follow God as a couple and as a family unit in service. Everything we own and do is not our own, it all belongs to Jesus.

Right now the sadness and grief is to be expected for a little while, because I am grieving the loss of our home, our supportive homeschool group in Greenville, our loving church family. I know things will get a little better. I know these are all THINGS, but what I will miss MOST are the relationships we have built here. We were in a 'safe' place to be and grow. Pastors Tad and Treva, Pastor Brian and Tara, Pastor Sarge and her Smelling Salts Ministry, and Pastors Brian and Hannah, Ms. Diane...our elders and leaders, made it safe haven for us all. They loved us where we were at, and lovingly, gently, patiently led us to the healing living water.

I did do much better at church this Sunday than I thought; Kept my mind as stayed on God and in an attitude of prayer as much as possible, and asked Him to help me get thru it. There is nothing I can do without the Lord helping me.

During praise and worship I got a little emotional, but as I released it I could feel the Holy Spirit really take over and HIS presence to strong and powerful. The More I Seek You is a special song to me. It was a song given to me by a friend, Charlotte, after a Women's Encounter I attended last November. During that Women's Encounter is when the Lord completely healed me of Fibromyalgia. I wasn't even praying about being healed...after so many years....God took it away when Pastor Tara prayed with me over totally different things. God is full of unexpected surprises. I did not expect that I was going to be singing that song through the first time alone on Sunday, but God gave me the strength to do it. I enjoyed worshipping with the youth band, and as always enjoyed singing with Pastor Treva. I'm going to miss her, and our beautiful worshippers...band and vocals, and choir so much. They all have such hearts to be unified in worship, and not just be up there to sing or play instruments. It makes for such a sweet spirit and presence of the Lord. Even our practice times are worship. :) I will miss this so much.

We had a beautiful service Sunday. The moving of the Holy Spirit among the people in corporate worship was sweet and precious. Pastor Tad's message was so timely (regarding Surrender...hmmm - God you sure know what you are doing!)

David was commissioned and sent out by our church for chaplaincy, and we were sent out as a family as servants of God. He was ordained under the non denominational EFI - Evangel Fellowship International. We are excited to have this covering, and to still be connected with Harvest Church too. Who knows what God is up to. The children and I were up front with David and we were prayed for as a family. The Pastors, elders and leaders of our church prayed over us and they blessed our family. A word from the Lord given through one of the elders and was spoken over us... that today was a new day, and we were walking in a new way. I wish I could remember every word....may need to get a copy of that service sometime. Basically, all of the old is passed away, all of the pain and mistakes of the past, and we are moving forward in a newness with the Lord. It was so touching, and I personally felt hopeful, so 'covered' under the Almighty wing of God as they prayed and as this word was brought forth. God seems to be confirming this everywhere I listen and look. Especially by His word.

About the move...

We are making great progress with sifting out more things we can 'let go of'. Thankfully I am not the kind of person who replaces everything we have let go of in the past. Unless it is something we needed, I'm learning to 'let things go' even cards and sentimental items. There are a few things I needed to keep though. They were just too special. We took 6 boxes to Goodwill. That was just items from our garage. Today I'm going to tackle Josh's room. Jordan has cleaned out her room pretty good. She reminds me of my sister Beth so much!!! She does NOT get sentimentally attached to much, and is good at not holding on to things. I mean, I had to actually talk her into keeping SOME things she wanted to get rid of! Her room is pretty much down to bare minimum. Josh on the other hand, is a little more like David and myself. He gets a little more sentimental about things. His room will be a challenge. He has a LOT of little things. We've let go of a LOT the last 3 moves. He even let go of some things he had held to that were hard for him to let go of...things he had collected. God is sifting us again.

I want to continue to live as simply as possible. In my heart, I do not believe this is going to be our last and final move.

So far, the plan is for the movers to come on the 13th to begin packing us up. They will load the truck and if they can't get it all done on the 13th, they will finish up on the 14th. Then they will store our belongings until Mon. the 17th. The 17th is our 'official' move in date to our new location.

I know it is going to get so chaotic next week. There are some plans I've been able to make with a few friends, but if I miss getting to see you I am sorry. Any of you are invited to stop by (I may put you to work...haha ...just kidding) We will be here for the most part...just call to make sure we are here. We'd love to see you. Keep in mind, there is no telling what 'state' you will find us in...pajamas, stinking, messy hair, tearful, happy, smelling good, put together....you could get any of these or between the four of us all of these at the same time! So enter at your own risk, and you are always welcome friends.

Time to get back at it!

I found the song!!!

2011-10-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Yay! I found the words to this song that the Lord brought to me after Pastor Brian's sermon several weeks ago. I've been looking for it everywhere!! I finally found the piano sheet music on a little music website. Here it is.....

Just the Same - Janet Paschal

Chorus
Just the same, Lord, Just the same.
Let me love You just the same.
Though my world will always change,
let me love You just the same.

Vs 1
Time moves on, days go by.
Flowers bloom and then they die.
Seasons come, seasons go,
fires burn to ashes cold.

Chorus
Just the same, Lord, Just the same.
Let me love You just the same.
Though my world will always change,
let me love You just the same.

Vs 2
Pages turn, chapters end,
hopes arise and then descend.
Lives are touched, plans are laid.
Youth matures and memories fade.

Chorus
Just the same, Lord, Just the same.
Let me love You just the same.
Though my world will always change,
let me love You just the same.

Simple song, but the verses speak to me during this time. Wish I could find a video with the song...the music is beautiful!

In a Little While

2011-10-01T03:29:00.000-07:00

So last week, I came across a song by Isreal Houghton titled Moving Forward. Yesterday 'Sarge' sent it to me, and it was a great reminder to me to keep pressing forward for the call of Christ. And I will do that...in a little while.

Here is the song:

Such a beautiful song and lyrics are so fitting.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Been quite busy these past days! A few moments of grief too, and haven't really felt like writing anything much but general stuff on Facebook updates.

I am grieving right now. Grief is so different for everyone and for different reasons and seasons. People so want to pull me up by my bootstraps, but only God can do that. People just gotta let people grieve. Sit there with them, cry with them, and pray for them. "Weep with those who weep, mourn with those who mourn". Not FIX them. God will do HIS work! HE is doing HIS best work in us all.

I'm not going to get stuck again. It is OK to miss people we love and SHOW them that we will miss them!

Jesus cried when Lazarus died. Even Jacob, when he thought his son was dead and thought he would never see him again said he would NEVER be comforted again! Paul missed people so much when he was on his missionary travels. Now, I'm not Jesus, Jacob, or Paul, and neither are we. We want to be like Jesus, but none of us are going to be JUST LIKE Jesus! We will never be PERFECT.

Boy if there is one thing I am learning for myself, it is to quit trying to tell people when and how to get thru their personal trials. Yes ENCOURAGE, REMIND THEM of who they are, remind them it is OK to cry. Don't say to them things that are going to hurt them, or make them feel that they are not making it thru in the 'right time'. It is THEIR journey. Each person has their own journey to walk out with God. Our only job is to LOVE, and ENCOURAGE someone for the kingdom. Love God, Love Others. NONE of us have perfection down!

I realize people mean well, but they make a person feel worse than they already feel. It can do more damage than good sometimes. We ARE NOT robots, and neither was Jesus! He was GOD in the flesh and we are NOT!

Anywho, so........ we did find a home, a townhouse actually. We had hoped for a "house", but I'm very thankful we KNOW where we are going to be living. I'm very thankful my husband has a job. I do like the town we will be living in. It seems so open, bright and hopeful. It seems to be 'alive' if that makes sense.

Our townhome is in a great location in proximity to everything we will need, including my husband's new office. It is a very roomy and more than adequate for our family (and for visitors...hint hint!) The scenery is just breathtaking around the city we are going to live in. I mean, you are driving through town, and it will open up to mountains and a valley. So beautiful! Actually, mountains all around us!! I think the elevation there is around 2200 ft above sea level.

We are working and cleaning out things. Got a lot accomplished yesterday. Getting rid of MORE today...didn't think we had much more to get rid of after so many moves, but sure enough, we do! We have done this every time we move, but there are things that I couldn't let go of last yr, that I'm willing to give away this year. It is always good and cleansing to simplify. I love to live simple, and the simplier the better with these moves we make! I'm thinking God must have called us to be traveling missionaries.

Yesterday we showed the home we are in now, to a lady who is married with a little girl. She is moving here to work for the hospital I had hoped my husband would be able to get a job with. This stung a little, I have to be honest. I thought to myself.... GOD you gave us this house we prayed for, a church family to get rooted and grounded in to serve....all answers to prayer. Then, it is like the rug gets ripped out from under me. I had a little tantrum over that with God. He is my Daddy, and he can handle me just fine, but it was just a hard moment. However, after meeting the lady, she was very nice. She is going through the SAME thing! leaving a state and home that she has always known. It was nice to comfort her, and she was a comfort to me. I have peace knowing that she and her family will be in a beautiful home and in a great neighborhood. I even told her about our church...because she mentioned that she would not have any support system here, and our church has been that and so much MORE for our family while we have been here. I'm so thankful for the family of God! What do people do without the Lord?? They have no hope.

I have to remember, this world is not my home. Eternity with Jesus in Heaven is my home, and I will see all of our (believing loved ones - those who are in Christ) again there. This world is also a SMALL WORLD! It amazes me how we can be in different parts of the world, and run into people from our hometown. It really IS a small world in many ways. I can only hope that I'll see my eastern NC friends from time to time. The good news is, we will be closer to our family and friends in Western NC.

I'm still sad for now, but it hasn't been very long since finding out we are moving! I'm really going to miss people here, and this does not mean that I am ungrateful, or not thankful, or not seeing the blessings in it all, or in the depths of despair that I'm never going to get out of (which I have been in that place before for other reasons...I'm not perfect!). It means RIGHT NOW, I am HUMAN...I'm sad, will miss and I CARE about those relationships we have made in the kingdom here. I'm not good at faking that.

At the same time, there is hope to see what God is going to do in our new place. I'm excited for my husband, because this is what he has been working toward and where he believes God has called him to serve. It is unexplored territory. Yes it is an adventure and I will SEE the blessings in all of this down the road. Right now, just sit with me in the pit and cry with me for a little while, because I WILL get through this and I'll be fine. I've got moments of laughter about this, but moments of tears with missing everyone.

In the words of Morrie, "Love or Perish". In the Bible, book of Galatians it says, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

And I love this...

Philippians 1
18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

The lyrics to this song by Everember (a local band here) are so encouraging to me right now. JESUS is always in control for those who LOVE HIM and desire to do His will. Their will be trials and we are never alone....Jesus walks with us through it all. Love it!

Click Here for Moonlight by Everember

You can check out their other music here: Everember Website

Today is the Day!

2011-09-28T04:40:00.000-07:00

My husband woke up early this morning! He has been on the computer searching for housing. There has been another home posted since yesterday, but it is not in the city I hope we can live in. He still wants to look at it because it is in between the city his office will be, and the city I had hope we can live in. I'm thinking the whole deciding factor is how the children will react. They have always been a huge 'gauge' to every decision like this that we have made about housing. We know if their 'seal' of approval is on it, then we are in the right spot.

Today we have appointments to see two townhouses. These are actually places that our daughter found online. When husband called about them, they told us that they do not allow undergrad students only upper grad and mostly medical students. One of the places even allows us free access to the local aquatic center. The aquatic center in the city I'd like to live in is REALLY NICE! AND they allow pets. :) Josh has been wanting a dog SO BAD! (and I have too ;)

Husband seems to believe today is the day. He even believes this so strongly that he wants to check out of our hotel, and pack up to head back east after we secure everything here. I guess I'll just grab on to that, and we'll see where God takes this day. He said the worst thing that could happen is that we'd have to check back in. However, if we pack up the car, I really don't want to unpack it again until we are back home.

Yesterday did not hold any promise of a home for us here, but hoping that today is the day! Our church and Pastors are praying for us...so are lots of friends. We are having faith that the right place will come at just the right time. We'll see what God does!

Straining Forward

2011-09-27T04:23:00.000-07:00

We arrived at our destination where my husband will be starting his new position. The drive here was joyful. We were all laughing and having such a good time together. The excitement is here about what is before us. I knew that it wasn't going to be 'perfect' though. Everything has seemingly fallen into place thus far, but nothing is ever perfect. God keeps us relying on Him, and sometimes this means that not everything is going to work out smooth or easy.

After checking into our hotel yesterday, we began right away looking into some of the homes we have found online and learned of through realtors. Unfortunately, the one home we 'thought' would be just the right place, has already been taken. The other homes we looked at, were terrrible locations. One home was on the water. I got real excited about that one!! When we rode by, we saw there is NO WAY we can get our furniture into it! It is seriously hanging on the side of a hill....took a narrow dirt road to get to it. Then, there was no access. The front yard of the home was literally a sea wall, and dropped right to the water. Then, there was no driveway. You had to park at the top of stairs, and the stairs leading down to it were narrow and steep. Even David struggled with the height of it and lets just say it isn't going to work. The other homes we see are in places where college students are rooming together, or the rooms are way too small to hold our large 'Bernhardt' furniture.

Honestly, with being ministry minded, moving that large furniture is getting to be a pain. We hold onto it because we LOVE it so much! It was a wedding gift from David's father and mother and we cherish it for that reason. However, after moving it like going on 7-8 times now...and it takes 3-4 men to move the armoire....every time we move it we think to ourselves...wish we just had a platform bed! Also, we are always basing where we live around needing the furniture to be able to 'fit'. It is hard, because it has special sentiment, but at the same time, moving it so much is tough. I'm not sure God is done with us yet. I wonder sometimes if we are a traveling mission family.

Needless to say, we came back and looked online, in papers, in realty books for rentals, all around the surrounding cities. There is nothing for rent accept apartments or townhouses. Which would not be bad, but they are mostly in college student areas.

The thing I'm struggling with this moment...which is so selfish of me in the big scheme of things...is this: Why would God give us the home we prayed for, a church family we prayed, a supportive homeschool group we prayed for that all became like our family away from family! Then, within a yr, rip it out from under us. I'm sure many people ask this question for even more devastating reasons. I'm not talking about other people right now, and this is just where I am at for the moment...won't stay in this mindset though. There are many people struggling over so much worse right now!!! So this is why I acknowledge that this is very selfish thinking on my part.

It took me 3 yrs to even adjust to being in the area we moved to. It was SO HARD leaving family and our Mountain Grove friends back home when we move to the east so suddenly. We had just lost our beloved father/GaGa...David's father to cancer not long before we moved. Then many other family members have died sense...lot of painful losses.

In that 3 yrs God was leading us to Harvest, and once we actually got there, we really believe this would be where we would complete a lot of healing, get rooted and serve. We were already beginning to serve in prison ministry. Our children were beginning to plug into things. Our daughter in youth band, son in media. My son and I were even training to help with video/media to edit the sermons that are televised. I was excited about this! And of course, I just love the PEOPLE, ministries there and the music ministry. I love their heart of 'outreaching' to the community and not being so inward minded (like I'm being right now). Serving at the prison blessed us I think even more than the men we were there to bless. God is doing a great work there in hurting lives and raising up men of God. I know this can continue on wherever we are. It is just difficult when you feel that you are in a 'safe' place to grow and serve. God is all about removing the safety nets, so we will trust HIM.

The scripture from Philippians that God brought to me yesterday has a part in it that says, " But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead..." The key word there for me is 'straining'. I'm literally straining forward right now. This is not easy, but I do not want to get 'stuck' like I did when we moved from our hometown to the east; Don't want it to take yrs to get unstuck. I don't believe it will. I've grown a lot, plus I have people who love and support me so much that they will not allow me to go back to that dark place of being stuck. I'll keep straining forward for now with Jesus lighting the way, and soon there will be a breaking. I will see the sense in all of this a little later. In 2011 we've gone through so many things, and seen others go through so much that does not make sense at all in the natural. However, in the spiritual, God is most glorified.

Yesterday was not a productive day. Praying today we will get some leads out from somewhere. The home God brought to us this last time, was just laid in our laps...AFTER we stopped belaboring the process of looking for the perfect place. He gently laid it in our laps out from nowhere. He is the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will work it out for our good.

I keep singing this song in my head from the Rolling Stones: You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need. My God will supply all of our needs according to HIS riches in Christ Jesus! I'm holding on to Jesus.

An Early Spring

2011-09-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

So it's been a long time since I've been on here, but thought it may help to pick it back up again.

Many things have gone on in my life, so I'm way behind. Most recent.....

My husband has been without a job for about 3 months now, and in that time we have learned to totally rely on trusting God for our every need. He has met every need at every turn in ways that would take pages and pages to fill!

Today, I'm so grateful to say that my husband has found a job in the field that he has been working toward and desiring to do. Hospice Chaplain. This will cause us to relocate. Fourth move, in four years...oh yeaaa! haha, I'm becoming an expert packer. In this case, if it fits into the very generous moving allowance, we may let them do the packing up for us! Now, wouldn't that be a HUGE blessing from the Lord???!!! I think, YES!!

Of course, I have these bittersweet feelings about this move. Mixed feelings, but not nearly as MIXED as when we moved to eastern NC from western NC. Whoa, that was a whirlwind of a move!

I mean... I'm truly HAPPY for HIM about this new job, because he has worked so hard, and been through so much. He deserves something this SUPER GREAT! On the other hand.....just when I fall in love with eastern NC, our church, and the peeps surrounding us-all of who God brought into our path these past yrs.......allowed myself to open up, get real and heal...begin to find my balance....I'm back 'on the road again'! Argh...that's MY eastern NC Pirate Talk for UGH!

I think we have been here during this time for what is known as 'the wilderness', our personal wilderness....our Egypt, for God to work out many things in our lives. It hasn't been easy, but working on the hard stuff rarely ever is easy. It has been a LONGGGGG 4 yrs.

While we have been here in eastern NC, I've been working on allowing God to touch some places of my heart with a hot poking stick. I was broken in a lot of ways. The song for that was...I Fall to Pieces.

For many yrs, I was real good at taking care of and fixing everyone else but myself. People have even called me a 'Florence Nightingale'. Over MANY yrs of my life, different events and situations caused a black hole in my heart to develop. Then, it got bigger because I didn't even notice it was there to begin with. A nasty abyss.

I think sins of the heart, originating from deep hurt, are even more deadly than those sins that are right out there in the open. Some of those sins of the heart being bitterness, resentment, anger, bad attitudes, rebellion, being critical and judgemental of others..... these continued on for like years.....building and creating a very ugly monster behind the mask of a seemingly sweet JenJen. (I really am nice sometimes :)

One of our Harvest staff, a dear woman of God named Sarge told me the other day, "God has more patience, than you have stubborness." Thank goodness for that!!!!!!!

Harvest has staff with the patience of JOB! Seriously. Like, the Job of the Bible. God BLESS THEM!

Pastors Tad and Treva...and Laura aka Sarge....will have many jewels in their crowns someday! To love and nurture people in the Lord like they do, and how they were so very patient with me. :) Lets just say they all earned some extra big jewels since knowing me. haha

I've been a hot mess over here in the east! I'm God's mess, and only HE can fix a mess. A person must be willing to 'go there' though. If you know me, you know that I'm very complex. A lot of layers to get through to the heart of me. It all boiled down to one thing for me...Trust. I had lost it, and wasn't ever letting it come back. Which really effected my TRUST in the Lord, and in humanity. In some instances, I had good valid reasons for trust to be broken. Still, not good when it effects WHO I am in Christ, and how I view EVERYONE.

The monster side of me turned into all sorts of toxic stuff and waste that spewed off of me at random intervals.

Over the past yr especially, Harvest Church staffers and some members too, have been peeling me like an onion (I really mean... God used different people and situations, and the Holy Spirit did the peeling). You know, when an onion is peeled, it makes your eyes water and sting...yeah that is called tears. The ripping away hurts too. A lot of tears this past yr. Then as you peel deeper into the onion, the tears get worse and the layers get tougher to peel. What a mess! The onion example is how they explained it to me (with my own spin added to it)...and it makes sense to me. I'm the artsy type who needs a good visual! Anyway, that would be me....the biggest vidalia onion you ever did pick! (I chose vidalia, because those are sweet onions, you know. ;)

Not just one person did God use to peel me, but many have helped peel those nasty layers. A very intricate process... like heart surgery. Treva said to me recently, "You would not want someone performing heart surgery on you if all they had was book knowledge, and not 'experience' working with the surgical knife...hands on experience and lots of it! You would not be able to trust." I needed a surgeon who had LOTS of hands on experience, and WITH the knowledge of the Word of God. She, and so many God has crossed my path with, they have performed spiritual surgery on me with the Holy Spirit guiding them. They are skilled surgeons.

We have only been members of Harvest for a year or so, but I met Pastor Treva a few yrs prior to our actual official 'joining'. It was a God arrangement. The Holy Spirit has peeled some of my toughest most stubborn layers away through this lady, her husband, and a woman named Sarge...like a surgeon doing skillful, 'patient' surgery. Their counsel goes straight to the marrow (especially Sarge's ;) - I love them all for it!

Through it all I have to say that it 'hurt so good'. :) Honestly, there were many times I really wanted to be singing that song, "Baby Don't Hurt Me, No More". Sort of a little inside joke there....that they and those who were at church today will get! Yeah, it hurts to take a look at YOUR OWN heart, and not someone else's. I challenge anyone to do that.

Lots of peeling in a short amount of time. It's getting closer and closer to the good stuff in the middle. There's some love in there to be shared...like one of those blooming onions you get at the Outback steakhouse...oh yeah, makes ya hungry for more...and some of that dippin' sauce too. haha, ok, I'm getting a little carried away....just kidding just kidding.

Basically, I'm getting around to something God can maybe work with. All the right ingredients were there together, but had to be MIXED until smooth. Then had to be put into the HOT oven to cook out some junk.

So...........when you have that kind of history with the family of God, and you trust them with your life, it is really difficult to leave them all. God has it all figured out though. I AM trustin Him in this move!

This new job and the move IS becoming more exciting to think about! There is something GREAT for our family to do in VA... the next step for the Glory of God!

The fact that he got a job so soon is honestly a miracle. I could tell you stories and stories of how the Lord is lighting this way, and how everything is falling into place; orchestrated by God. God's favor on our lives.

Still, it hurts BAD to leave. I swear it is like leaving our family and friends from western NC all over again. It is like leaving Mountain Grove Church all over again!!! It is hard....life is full of the hard stuff, isn't it? God is bigger, He really is. The consolation is knowing God "has this".

Another friend from Harvest, Kathy told me this...."Wherever we go, the Spirit of the Lord goes with us. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom." I like that thought! It is so very obvious that God is totally IN this move. NO denying it! Oh, and we will be 2 hrs closer to our hometown! There is a LOT to be thankful for! The blessings are abundant!

The heart still says 'ouch' for now, but that will get better. A little piece of my heart will always be in eastern NC... for life!

I'm thankful for much healing.... God healed me physically, and has healed many hurts of the heart. I won't hold on to the pain of the past anymore. I've.... Let....It ..... Go......those old hurts....FINALLY! *Applause Please*

A person can only do so much to show someone this art of letting go. The Holy Spirit brings the revelation to each person. We can lead a person to truth, but they have to make the choice to receive it in for themselves.

However, I cannot explain to you how the staff and leadership at our church can lead the horse to the water, and actually lead the horse to drink, accept by the power of the Holy Spirit. Or.... this has been my experience there, because I'm drinking! It is like the whole salt thing...you want more of what they share of Jesus and His love. They are led by the Spirit of God!!!! They walk by FAITH!!! They intercede for people and are a praying people! What they don't do is baby people. They truly LOVE people with God's love. Sometimes tough love. Taking a person from the milk to the Gerber Graduates, to the solid and meat!

This post is so random, because I do have mixed emotions going on here. I guess what I am trying to say is...how very grateful I am my husband has a job, and grateful to have been where I have been this past yr. Even for the previous 3 yrs prior God led me through 'iron sharpening iron', and EVEN the very hard things of my past are working all for my good. The yrs of my wilderness. It wasn't real pretty at times, and people got hurt...which I have grieved over, but God walked with me through it all, and never left my side. He forgives me, and I forgive myself. It doesn't make me feel bad anymore.

Now, there are many people I am going to miss terribly here in the east, and those people know who they are. I won't hold on too long to this sadness of leaving. There are too many things to look forward to with God.

Yes I do believe it is time for the Spring! It is time for this flower to bloom for Jesus!

Philippians 3
12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

Hebrews 11:8-9
8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. 9 By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise.

We leave to drive to our new location in VA to find a home. By faith, I believe God is going to lead us to the right place to make our new home. Home is where the heart is, and my heart belongs to Jesus!

Maybe my next blog won't be so random...or have quite as many typos/grammatical errors, but I think the ones who truly know me, will know where I am coming from. For those who don't know 'my heart', maybe God will have a word of encouragement for you through it...somehow. I'll try to gather my thoughts much better next time around. I'm a little rusty with the blogging thing. Good night!

Our Boy is 13!

2011-02-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

So hard to believe that he has gone from this...

To this...

PG-13 stands for PRETTY GREAT 13 yr old! ;)

Happy Birthday JD! We love you!!

From sis...

The card says (outside): Brother... We've traveled down many roads together... (inside) ...and even with the stiff necks and the drool, I'm glad you were always in the same seat next to me. Happy Birthday!

A gift card from his favorite place to eat. ;)

We used to have big extravagant birthday parties, but as our children have gotten older, they'd rather have a "day" of doing what they want! Not sure yet how his day will unfold, but it is going to start out with breakfast together, and may end with a steak dinner. ;)

Thank you God for blessing us with a wonderful son. We pray for you JD, and that you will serve the Lord with your whole heart! <3

Be Unto Your Name - by Travis Cottrell [Lyrics]

2011-01-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

New Pics of J

2010-12-30T18:45:00.000-08:00

Can't believe how beautiful and grown up our girl is! She's so special and talented...thoughtful and sweet. Love you J.

Thank you Lindsay for taking these shots for us. She felt so special and you did a wonderful job!

Help Me Be New

2010-12-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

God is doing a work in me
He's walking through my rooms and hails
Checking every corner
Tearing down the unsafe walls
And letting in the light

I am working hard
To clean my house and set it straight
To not let pride get in the way
To catch an eternal vision of
What I am to become

Will you help me be new
Will you hold me to the promises
That I have made
Will you let me be new
Forgive my old self and my old mistakes

It seems easier
Living out my life in Christ
For those who do not know me
To hide the thorns stuck in my side
And all my secret faults

But you know me well
And it's you I want the most to see
And recognize the changes
A word from you empowers me
To press on for my goal

When I feel condemned to live my old life
Remind me I've been given a new life in Christ

Will you help me be new
Will you hold me to the promises
That I have made
Will you let me be new
Forgive my old self, and my old mistakes

Will you?
You know me well

Our Post Christmas Snow

2010-12-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

And it is STILL coming down!!!

Home Front

Our Backyard

Icicles...

I don't think we'll be using these beach chairs anytime soon...

Winterized Beach Chairs

Neighborhood Snow Watch ;)

View of the woods in our neighborhood, from the road in front of our home...

Snow????? ...SNOW!!

2010-12-04T18:55:00.000-08:00

Yay! I cannot believe we have snow! The weather has been so hot and cold here, and it just amazes me! It is so beautiful to see, especially as Christmas is drawing nearer...love it!

Here are a few images from this evening. It was wayyyyy dark, but they wanted to play, and I really had to bump that ISO up on my camera...didn't want to use flash. Plus, it was snowing on me like crazy! I was a little concerned about having my camera out in it.

Here are a few snaps I took...beginning with the Beautiful Miss J.

The Handsome Boy JD

...trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue...while running...and laughing...

Our two are so growing up. Gosh...

And a few in front of the candy cane forest. ;)

Turkey Day; Elf Culture

2010-11-26T16:48:00.001-08:00

Well, our Thanksgiving Day was such a blessing, even though we were under the weather. Daughter, son and I had walking pneumonia. Son's was not as bad a case.

Our church family blessed us with "fixin's" and hubby cooked a magnificent turkey!

We are so thankful and appreciative for the delicious sides and pies that were delivered to us. It was such an amazing feast! It was such a beautiful time for our little family. There is so much to be thankful for!!!

Before we ate, we prayed, and then we went around the table and each of us spoke of what we were thankful for this year. It was a such a sweet time. God has brought us through so much as a little family. We are coming full circle with a lot of healing in our lives.

Here are a few snaps from our Thanksgiving Day:

The beautiful bird, cooked to perfection! Honestly, the juiciest and most tender turkey we've ever had! It was a Butterball.

Yummy!

So tender the bones came right out of the legs when he went to pick them up!

My pomegranates that I LOVE!! Also, in the background are delicious pies. I was so enthralled by my yummy poms, forgot to take the foil off of the pies to show them off! However, I assure you, the pies were spectacular!! In appearance and taste! Our friend Teresa made a sweet potato with meringue, pumpkin, pecan, and apple/pear pie. We had to put two of them in the freezer. Seriously, so much food, no way we could eat it all even in a week! Thanks T! Thank you everyone who contributed.

Our table...

...and of course, after the Macy's parade...ball games were on our TV. ;) Take a good look at this one...it is our living room before Elf Culture struck our home. :D

Turkey time, and giving of Thanks...

Sweet baby girl. My mini me and beautiful sweetheart.

Next up, handsomeness. Our awesome and thoughtful son.

The man behind the bird. I have the best husband in the world! He's so caring and loving. And he can cook too!!

Ok...so several weeks ago when all had the beginning of our crud, with sore throats and congestion, etc...we were all totally in need of a pick me up. So, we watched the movie ELF. Which is our very fave!! It always makes us laugh.

Well, this movie gave us a great idea!! We decided to invent a tradition for our little family called Elf Culture. haha. We pulled out the arts and crafts box, and began cutting out snow flakes...LOTs and LOTS of snowflakes. Then, we made paper chains, and garland by stringing together cotton balls. hehehe. You'd have to watch the movie to "get" all of this.

Sooooo, we saved everything up. Today we pulled out our Christmas decor, and our home made items to begin decorating.

Below are a few pics. This is only the beginning. We still have tons of snowflakes to hang from the ceiling and such. I'm trying to figure out how I am going to hang them without putting a bunch of pinholes in the ceiling. We are using 3M command hooks for the garland and things hanging around the window. But the ceiling is very high, and I'm not sure yet how we will handle this part. I'm fairly inventive, so I'll figure something out. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to comment.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the beginnings of our family's Elf Culture.

I elfed this lighting fixture, and daughter elfed the next one...

J's elf work. Love it!

While my daughter and I were being little elves in the living room and dining rooms. Son was trimming his bedroom Christmas tree. :)

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not only because of the beautiful decorations, and lights, but because it represents when Jesus Christ was born. He lived, he died, and he rose to break the bonds of sin. If we confess our sinfulness, confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and Saviour, and receive Him into our hearts and lives, we will have everlasting life. We have a relationship with Jesus, as with a friend. Talk with Him, pray to him. He hears our every heart's concern; cries with us, and rejoices with us. He is our truest friend. While man/woman will fail us, Jesus never fails us.

Click Here for The Story of Jesus' Birth

Ever Had A...

2010-11-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

...Cushaw Pie?

Well, it was new to me. Our friends Woody and Lynn introduced us to the cushaw.

I just now pulled my homemade pie out of the oven (at 11 pm..what am I thinkin'! Well, it is really 10pm if you have already turned your clock back. Don't forget to fall back tonight!).

I've heard cushaw pie tastes like sweet potato pie. Well, it sure doesn't smell like sweet potato pie to me! lol I'll let you know tomorrow...after it cools and sets up.

Here is a pic of the pie I just pulled out of the oven. I cooked the cushaw in the oven (cut the whole cushaw in half and baked on 350 until the meat was soft and the skin puckered), scooped the meat out and mashed it. Then added milk, eggs, sugar, vanilla, salt, nutmeg, allspice, and a little flour...I think that is it! Well, if you click below you can see the whole recipe to make sure I did not miss anything. :)

The recipe called for lemon extract, but I went with vanilla instead. That may have been a no no. Also, I added too much milk by mistake. The recipe called for 1/4 c of cream, and I added 1 c. of skim milk. So.....not sure how this will turn out. Either way, it looked nice coming out of the oven.

You can find the recipe by CLICKING HERE for CUSHAW PIE RECIPE.

I've got pumpkin on the stove that I've baked, need to scoop and puree' for pies before I head to bed. We use my friend Cindy's pie recipe. Love it!

Someone is Reading my Life - Rebuilt!

2010-10-31T10:24:00.000-07:00

Do you ever read something, and think to yourself, "Wow, someone has been reading my Life!"

Or, my case, especially the past 3-7 years of my life!!!

I receive Proverbs 31 devotions daily, and they have so often pertained to whatever is going on in my life. God uses this ministry to encourage women of God. God is so amazing!! You can subscribe to receive them as well; CLICK HERE to join.

The below devotion from Tues, I just saw today (yet it is where I am at today...love how God does that!) It so explains how the story of my life has been the last few yrs especially with moves, friendships gone bad, me pulling in and losing my sense of confidence in being able to do things over the years of struggles. There was no one who truly cared. People acted like they did care, yet behind my back they tore me down. Only God truly knows.

Since we have gotten settled here in our new area of residence, I've been gaining my strength and confidence, by the power of the Holy Spirit, and through God's word. Through it all, I've learned of my true identity and true confidence in Christ alone! It has been a time of "getting real" with myself and most of all with God! He sees everything and knows my heart.

The Bible says, "Who can know the hearts of men? Only God can!" 1 Kings 8 39Then hear thou in heaven thy dwelling place, and forgive, and do, and give to every man according to his ways, whose heart thou knowest; (for thou, even thou only, knowest the hearts of all the children of men;)

This is a great devotional!! I've been torn down these past 7-10 yrs, but ESPECIALLY ripped apart the past 3-5 yrs, but I'm being rebuilt from the ground up! In Jesus name!

Rebuilt
by Amy Carroll

"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 (NIV)

"Are you sure you're ready to have a tiger by the tail?" mom asked with a big grin. That was her first response when my then-boyfriend Barry asked my parents if he could marry me. It still makes me laugh, because I was certainly a strange mix of rule-following, first-child with a wide streak of sassiness and fierce independence. I'm still not sure Barry had any idea what he was getting into when he said, "I do."

That was over twenty years ago, so when Barry asked an unexpected question during our family vacation this year, it opened my eyes to some of God's difficult work in my life. Barry and I sat on the deck overlooking the ocean talking in low voices about the topics that concern many of us--finances, parenting, plans for the future... Suddenly, Barry asked his startling question.

"If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?"

My mind went blank except for the thought, "Whew! This is a really loaded question." At first I didn't want to answer (why ruin a great evening?), but I finally answered, braced myself and re-asked the question, "What would you change about me?"

I had a pretty good list going in my mind of what I thought he'd say--I wish you weren't so critical. I wish you wouldn't talk so much. I wish you would cook dinner more often.

What he actually said surprised me. "I want you to get your confidence back. When I married you, your favorite phrase was, 'I'll do it myself!' I've watched you lose your confidence over the years, and I want you to have it back." He replied.

A move, a couple of friendships with bad endings and struggling to find a place in my new home town had knocked the stuffing right out of me. I had fought and lost against my own tendency toward comparison, perfectionism and an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Little by little, I became convinced that I couldn't and that I wasn't. My confidence was shaken and then it crumbled.

But sometimes things have to be torn down before they can be rebuilt.

Was it God's plan that I would move, fail in some friendships and beat myself bloody trying to be somebody else? No! He did, however, use this bad place to bring me to a better place. God began rebuilding in me about a year ago, but He capped it off when I got home from our She Speaks conference this year. There He spoke to me over and over again about trusting my life to His control. The scripture in my Sunday school class the following Sunday was our key verse today, 2 Corinthians 3:4-6: "Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant--not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." (NIV)

I started with, "I can do it," but God brought me to "He can do it in me." He has brought me out of my own power, which is so limited and flawed, to being dependent on the infilling power of His Spirit. Confidence in myself has very limited power whereas confidence in Him brings limitless possibilities.

I know that I'll still have days of struggle with confidence, but my rebuilt and renewed sense of confidence is now firmly in Christ. It's a beautiful place to be.

Dear Lord, I have depended on myself so many times and fallen short. My confidence has been shaken. Rebuild me by helping me to put my full confidence in You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A Splash of Color- Bathroom Decor

2010-10-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

I can't remember if I read this in Coastal Living magazine, or another interior design magazine, but the article had suggestions on how to decorate different rooms in useful ways.

This one article pertained to bringing a splash of color into the bathroom, in a useful way. It was suggested to fill a decanter with colorful mouthwash to bring a fun color in.

It was months ago when I read about it, because after pricing decanters I was like...whoa...expensive!! Most of them were $29 or up!

Well, we happened to be in a second hand store searching for my daughter's costume items. We've all been housebound and not feeling well. She had seen a dress that might work for her costume and was afraid it would get gone. So we made a quick trip into town on a mission. (came straight back because we are still feeling under the weather)

While she was trying on the dress, I was wandering around and happened upon this beautiful decanter. Then found these adorable vintage glasses that were on a nearby shelf. The glasses were sold separately and not really a match, but so so cute and tiny...looked great with the decanter!

Seriously, the glasses look large in the photos, but they are about the size of a small ball used for racket ball. Thought they were the perfect size for mouthwash glasses! The silver edge is a nice accent as well. The decanter was $5.75. The glasses were $0.38 each!

I'm not one to spend a lot of money on home decor or extra nick nacks, but thought this was such a great idea, pretty and useful. I like to buy second hand, or make due. We have plenty, and actually I'm about to either sell or give away some home decor from the past 19 yrs (things that were in the kids rooms when they were younger, etc), now that we are settled into a home. We all want to keep things simple and clean. We have our storage containers HERE in one location. I am going to go through, and do more sifting and getting those things we don't use into the hands of people who can use them.

Here is my splash of bathroom color...Purple mouthwash, my favorite color!

Our cute girl in the background waving...heehee. ;)

Repentance -I'll Change, I Promise

2010-10-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

This is a great article that I found HERE. Cut and paste it for easier reading. Something God is dealing with me on. Hope it will be of encouragement for others out there.

“I’ll Change, I promise” Six Signs of Genuine Repentance
Posted by markwgaither under Forgiveness, Practical Living, Repentance, Restoration | Tags: Apology, Bible, Christian, Forgiveness, Reconciliation, Repentance, Restoration |
[7] Comments
by Dr. Bryce Klabunde,

Soul Care Pastor, College Avenue Baptist Church, San Diego, CA

Many changes come naturally as we mature. Sometimes, though, negative habits form deep ruts, and it seems we can’t change, no matter how much we want to. Friends urge us to alter course and warn us of dangers ahead if we don’t. We read in Scripture about God’s path of wisdom, and His Spirit awakens our spirit to a new vision of a better life in Christ. With tears of determination, we tell ourselves, our loved ones, and our Lord that things will be different. “I’ll change, I promise.” And we really mean it. We feel a deep sense of sorrow for our sin, even disgust. However, as time passes, the pull of the rut overpowers our most sincere promises, and we fall back into old patterns.

Part of the problem may be our mistake in thinking that sorrow and confession are enough to produce change. Another part is the misunderstanding of the process of change—a process the Bible calls repentance.

Is Repentance the Same as Remorse?
According to the New Testament, there’s a difference between repentance and remorse. Judas “felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priest and elders” (Matthew 27:3). He even confessed his crime: “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood” (v. 4). Judas had come face to face with the hideous beast of evil in his soul, and he shrank back in terror and shame. Tragically, instead of leading him to God and life, his guilt hounded him to the gates of death. Eventually, his shame turned to self-hatred, and it drove him to suicide.

The apostle Paul calls this “the sorrow of the world” because the world offers no hope for people racked with guilt (2 Corinthians 7:10b). But there is another sorrow that produces life, as Paul describes:

I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation. (2 Corinthians 7:9-10a)

The sorrow of an alcoholic, for example, can either drown him in crashing waves of self-pity . . . or carry him to the shores of a new life. The determining factor is not the sorrow itself but whether the sorrow brings the sinner to repentance.

What Is Repentance?
Repentance is first a decision. The most common Greek word in the New Testament translated “repent” is metanoeo, which is based on the word for thoughts or intentions, nous (see Acts 8:22) and literally means to “change one’s mind.” Penitent people take a deep look inside and face the truth about themselves—how they’ve been excusing their sins and hurting others. They come to a decision point, or what Paul called, “the point of repentance” (2 Corinthians 7:9), in which they change their mind from pleasing the flesh to pleasing God, from trusting in self to trusting in a Savior.

This repentance decision may come at the moment of our salvation as we place our faith in Christ for the first time. It may also be a point of recommitment as we determine to follow Christ with our whole heart. In either case, it is the beginning point to a process of change.

Hand in hand with this decision is a second principle: turning. The Old Testament prophets preached a message of repentance using a special Hebrew word that means, “turn around, return.” The Lord urges His redeemed people to return to Him because He has forgiven their sins:

“I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud, And your sins like a heavy mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.” (Isaiah 44:22)

The Lord is asking His people to take a completely new direction in life. This implies two parts: turning away from sin and returning to the Lord. And it implies a relationship between us and God—much like the relationship between the prodigal son and his father in Jesus’ parable. After the son comes to his senses in the pigsty, he turns from his sin and returns to his father (see Luke 15:11-32).

The decision of repentance and the turning of repentance are demonstrated by the fruit of repentance—deeds that flow from the life of a changed person. The prophets described these deeds in practical terms: “Therefore, return to your God, Observe kindness and justice” (Hosea 12:6a). John the Baptizer specified the fruit of repentance this way:

“Let the man who has two tunics share with him who has none; and let him who has food do likewise.” And some tax-gatherers also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Collect no more than what you have been ordered to.” And some soldiers were questioning him, saying, “And what about us, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not take money from anyone by force, or accuse anyone falsely, and be content with your wages.” (Luke 3:11b-14)

Repentance, then, is not merely feeling sorry for sin. A person may feel deep remorse for his or her critical spirit, anger, or greed. A pastor caught in immorality may kneel before the congregation and weep bitterly over the condition of his soul. As important as it is to feel the weight of our sin, these emotions are not repentance. In fact, if we accept these tears as repentance, we can actually hinder the person from doing the really hard work of change.

With all this in mind, let’s draw up a definition: Repentance is the process of turning from our sinful way of life and turning to godliness. It is characterized by a change of thinking and a change of behavior.

The path of repentance often leads through dark periods of self-examination and painful surrendering of selfishness and pride. Repentance includes letting go of cherished sinful pleasures and being accountable to others who help us lift our wheels out of the rut as we plow a new course in life. It marks a renewed relationship with the Lord based on a revived belief that His way is truly best and His righteousness is life’s greatest treasure.

What Are Practical Signs of Repentance?
How do you know if you’re on the path of repentance? What does the penitent life look like? How can you tell if someone you love is really changing? People who are serious about change tend to display similar behaviors that let you know they are on the right track. Here are a few signs you’ll find in a truly repentant person:

Repentant people are willing to confess all their sins, not just the sins that got them in trouble. A house isn’t clean until you open every closet and sweep every corner. People who truly desire to be clean are completely honest about their lives. No more secrets.
Repentant people face the pain that their sin caused others. They invite the victims of their sin (anyone hurt by their actions) to express the intensity of emotions that they feel—anger, hurt, sorrow, and disappointment. Repentant people do not give excuses or shift blame. They made the choice to hurt others, and they must take full responsibility for their behavior.
Repentant people ask forgiveness from those they hurt. They realize that they can never completely “pay off” the debt they owe their victims. Repentant people don’t pressure others to say, “I forgive you.” Forgiveness is a journey, and the other person needs time to deal with the hurt before they can forgive. All that penitent people can do is admit their indebtedness and humbly request the undeserved gift of forgiveness.
Repentant people remain accountable to a small group of mature Christians. They gather a group of friends around themselves who hold them accountable to a plan for clean living. They invite the group to question them about their behaviors. And they follow the group’s recommendations regarding how to avoid temptation.
Repentant people accept their limitations. They realize that the consequences of their sin (including the distrust) will last a long time, perhaps the rest of their lives. They understand that they may never enjoy the same freedom that other people enjoy. Sex offenders or child molesters, for example, should never be alone with children. Alcoholics must abstain from drinking. Adulterers must put strict limitations on their time with members of the opposite sex. That’s the reality of their situation, and they willingly accept their boundaries.
Repentant people are faithful to the daily tasks God has given them. We serve a merciful God who delights in giving second chances. God offers repentant people a restored relationship with Him and a new plan for life. Listen to Hosea’s promise to rebellious Israel:
Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. (Hosea 6:1-2, emphasis added)

After healing comes living. Repentant people accept responsibility for past failures but do not drown themselves in guilt. They focus their attention on present responsibilities, which include accomplishing the daily tasks God has given them.

One final thought. Repentance is not a solo effort. God doesn’t expect us to lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps. Through His indwelling Spirit, God shapes and molds us to make us pure and blameless in Christ. Listen to Paul’s hopeful words: “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). For many people, the first cry of repentance is, “I can’t change by myself; I need You, God.” Thankfully, those are the sweetest words to God’s ear.

To help you apply the principles in this article, here are two worksheets you might find helpful: Redemptive Divorce Repentance Worksheets

A lady told me at church that I look so very sad these days. To be honest, I'm in this state right now with the Lord of dealing with my heart. This statement totally explains where I'm at in my life: "A person may feel deep remorse for his or her critical spirit, anger, or greed." God is dealing with me on these things. I encourage us all to search our own hearts, allow God to truly go into the inner most parts, and to get real with ourselves and before God. It's no easy thing. The most difficult thing to shake is the guilt and shame.

Photo Shoots

2010-10-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

I've uploaded some of my favorites from recent photo shoots I've done in the past few weeks.

Click here to see recent photography: Sasha and Will- Sasha Maternity, K's Maternity and Newborn, and Dolly, her daughter Laci and children.

Kitchen Fresh-y

2010-10-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

I've learned a new thing from my friend Lindsay.

Lindsay keeps her home so neat and clean. One thing she does; keeps one of her kitchen sinks about half full of water, cleaning solution and a rag. Anytime there is a spill, such as after breakfast, lunch or dinner, she can quickly wipe it clean. The cleaning solution keeps the kitchen smelling fresh as well. :)

The solution she uses is Pine Sol and water.

I'm basically using the home made cleaner that Dr Oz recommends for "chemical free" cleaning, but I increase the amounts because I'm using more water. (I really sort of eyeball it. lol). Here are the basic ingredients. These proportions below are for using in a spray bottle for household cleaning:

Mix together
1 tbsp of Borax powder (find it in the laundry aisle of your supermarket)
3 tbsps of white vinegar
2 cups of water
1 tablespoon of dish soap (I use a nicely scented dish soap like lavender, or Dr Bonner's pure castle liquid peppermint soap, that way I don't have to get the next ingredient!)
1 drop of essential oil such as peppermint for fragrance (optional)

Crisp Air; Holiday Faves

2010-10-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

There is such a crisp feeling in the air here!

Our family has been so ready for fall, and for the weather to cool off! This morning we woke up to mid 40 degree weather. So gorgeous outside; beautiful sunshiny day!

Personally, I love everything about fall. The pumpkins, the spices, the sights and scents! There is just something so invigorating about this time of year. We know when fall arrives, that Thanksgiving and Christmas are not that much further away! Our family LOVES Thanksgiving and Christmas! :D

Thanksgiving is my very favorite! Well, my birthday is very close to Thanksgiving, but that is not why I love it. The whole story of Thanksgiving is why I so love it! It is such a reminder of how blessed we truly are as a family, and how thankful I am for everything God has entrusted me with on this earth. My prayer is to live with such gratitude, and that this would always be my first thought! Not only on Thanksgiving, but all year, every year!

Thanksgiving is a beautiful time of sharing and being together as a family. Another favorite part of Thanksgiving is sharing a meal together as family. Turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, casseroles...and pumpkin pie are among the YUMMY parts of it! The smells of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg...ahhhh!! Mix those with the cool crisp feeling outside, and the beautiful fallen leaves. Amazing! It sets the tone and paves the way for Christmas.

Christmas is my second favorite holiday. It is also about giving and sharing, and most of all, about Jesus Christ giving His life so I can live eternally with God. John 3:16

What Christmas is all about

Also, I do love the lights and the smells of evergreen! I love to give. This year I told myself that I'd get started much earlier with buying Christmas gifts. I'm hoping to be finished up by the end of November. This is the goal. ;)

The other day, I met a gal who had EVERY bit of her shopping completed and wrapped! Wow!! She inspired me to get on with it!

So this week, I am making my list, and checking it twice. haha. ;)

Have any of you began Christmas shopping yet? What is your favorite holiday, and why?

13 Year Old Child Who was Bullied, Commits Suicide

2010-10-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

This is exactly how it is. The bully creates a "pack"...like animals...I'd say wolves attacking the weaker prey. We've seen it first hand!

Our children have been victims of bullying, especially our son. It is the most horrible feeling when people won't listen and things escalate.

It has take almost two years for our children to heal from it. We have forgiven and we love.

However, people do not realize how much their words and expressions (and their exclusion of others) cut into the soul of a child.
Instead of putting down and degrading others, lets build one another up! ESPECIALLY our children!!!

Every child is different, and we should never compare one child to another. Let's love and accept one another, even with our differences! Be kind, because we never know the struggles that a child is dealing with!

Asher can't speak for himself anymore. When he could speak, no one listened at the school... to him or his parents cries for help. What a shame that it takes a child being pushed down stairs, and a bullet to the head, before someone will listen!!! This breaks my heart...

Click Here to Read the Story of Asher

To Everyone Who Loves Dogs

2010-09-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

Such a great video!

14...breakin' on down!

2010-09-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

So here's a break down of J's day. Can't believe she is 14. She had a wonderful birthday, and here goes........

First...it began at midnight. We were all fast asleep, therefore I was unable to get a photo of what occurred at midnight. Plus, she snuck and did this without telling us. Here is the story on that.

Nana always sends a card, and on the envelope it says not to open until ON the actual birthday. Our dd is much like her daddy...can't wait! What does she do??? She stays up until midnight, then opens her card...so it is "legal" and all. ;)

First...she opened her gifts from us. :)

Pajama pants from Old Navy

New hair accessories

A new pair of jeans

Then, of course, she had to aggravate a little bro with her hair accessories. Of which, he took it like a man, and took it off. He's a good sport...

Afterwards.....we took a drive to a really cool coffee house that is new in our area. On the way, we spotted a carnival, and stopped for some fun pics....hehe

Then...the YUMMMMOOO coffee! I had a chai tea latte with soy milk. J had a mocha frappe. So delish!

They buy from suppliers who support Autism Speaks. This label was created by someone with Autism. Pretty cool!

This is how good her mocha frappe was..

A few more fun coffee house pics...

After this fun adventure. We went to see Toy Story 3 together as a family. Then had a nice dinner and finished the evening off with cupcakes.

Daddy lighting the candles

Singing Happy Birthday

Blowing out the candles...

The End

We love you J and hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!

Family Time

2010-09-02T21:27:00.001-07:00

Our family took a trip, and we had such a wonderful time seeing the sights along the way. We had the best time last weekend! It was spur of the moment, and we all needed to just get away for a moment.

We decided to check out two fun places that were featured on the food network. It was a fun adventure!!! We all experienced gelato for the first time, without even having to travel to Italy. ;) (Although, it sure we be nice to go there someday! Actually, we dream about going to Hawaii with our children, like husband got to do with his family. He wants to take us there someday...we'll see...)

So... for now.... we traveled to Time Out restaurant to test out the famous chicken and cheddar biscuit that the dude from Man VS Food raved about. Our son will tell you, it was the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A picture says a thousand words. :) Or perhaps just one BIG "four photo" word...YUM!!!!!!

The kids gave Time Out the same "thumbs up" that Adam from Man VS Food gave...

We had the honor of meeting the owner of Time Out. Hey, he is entertaining the thoughts of putting a Time Out at a city near you...or us. ;) Let's woooo him!! Here is the owner...

Our kids are awesome!!!! :D

THEN.........
We moved down the street a bit to try out another place that was featured on The Food Network. :) The name speaks for itself..."Sugarland". They are known for their yummy gelato, and also martini's made with gelato. We just had the gelato minus the martini. ;)

It was really a neat place. They were actually in the process of decorating and boxing up HUNDREDS of cookies for returning college students.

Welcome to Sugarland!

Decisions...Decisions!

Gelatoooo Blisssss

OHHH YEAH!!! Gelato BABY!

BRAIN FREEZIE

Recovering from Brain Freeze!!

Leftover spoons from testing gelato flavors, and our cups. These cups seem very small, however, gelato packs a HUGE punch of flavor!! It seriously took me longer to eat this than regular ice cream. You just want to savor and enjoy every little bit of it!

Goodbye Sugarland, we miss you already!

Our Girl Needs Prayer

2010-08-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

For those who have missed my original status update earlier...

Here was our day yesterday:
Our daughter woke up this morning in more pain than when she went to bed last night. She's was in tears most of the day with her upper back getting worse as the day went on.

For several weeks she has had pain "off and on" in between her shoulder blades. This is the same pain she's had right after her surgery that would come and go. At all of her previous post op check ups, she had xrays and her surgeon believed it to be the crossbar equipment holding her two rods together in her thoracic area of the spine. She has two large rods, and two crossbar supports, (15 screws and 12 spinal fusions). Her spine is fused from T4 all the way down to S1. She was missing a few of her lower lumbar vertebra due to a congenital defect. This is why he had to fuse down to S1. She was told at post op that the equipment could begin to aggravate more and more after her a year or so post-op.

The shoulder blade pain has aggravated her off and on this past yr, and we have dealt with it as it has come. Recently, it has gotten increasingly worse, but she would still have times where it was feeling just fine. One of those times was Sun. She was feeling pretty good.

At her Feb appointment (1 yr post op appointment), she was cleared to do regular activities. I've been so way overprotective of her this past year, and honestly...if you had seen your daughter go through what I saw mine go through, you might be the same way! I had gotten to a point where I've just had to release this thing, and not hold so tightly to fear. It is her body, and she is responsible for her choices. We can't hover over her every minute, making sure she is doing what we think she should do, when the surgeon said she has no restrictions after a year. At some point, we have to let go.

Sunday she had a youth kick off event. I warned her about water-sports such as skiing, etc being unpredictable, but she decided to try the tubing. She mentioned how she had such fond memories of tubing on the lakes back home with our friends The Gillens. Well, she made a decision to go for it and do the tubing with youth. She "wiped out" off of the tube unexpectedly, and immediately afterwards she felt pain in her neck and midback. She knew something had happened to stir things up, but did not think it was anything worse than what she had been experiencing off and on. When I picked her up, she was really tired. She does get tired much easier since her surgery, and can usually gauge her physical limits pretty well. She was drained of energy when I picked her up at the church, but never let on how bad her back was feeling. So I thought she was just tired from the events of the day.

During choir practice Sun night (after the youth events), she laid on the cushioned love seats. When we got home, she went straight to rest. Then yesterday morning, she woke up and could not move her head side to side or up and down. All she could say is her neck and mid back were in a lot of pain...even into her ribs. She felt "not right", and had weird sensations going on in her limbs as well. She is tough, and doesn't complain. So for her to be literally in tears...we knew she was hurting and not feeling well.

We tried to get her an appointment early morning with her spinal surgeon. However, he was in surgery today, and the office was slammed with appointments. We could go to the emergency room, but she felt she could wait until tomorrow's appointment. (seriously we are better off waiting here at home than the Emergency Room!!!)

As the morning went on, she began to feel worse. So, we took her to her pediatrician. Her Dr there knew of her case, and they were the ones who originally discovered her scoliosis. Her Pediatrician examined her. Based on her evaluation she was concerned, told us she would definitely need xrays. The pediatrician then tried to get in touch with her surgeon, or a PA at the pediatric spine center. Again... giving the options of going to the ER, or waiting to have the xrays done at the pediatric spine center. IF they could get us worked in.

We waited at the G.P. office while they tried to work us in, but the pediatrician was not able get a hold of anyone. The office was so busy!! The PA finally called our pediatrician somewhere near 5pm, and decided to call her in some heavy duty pain meds to carry her until our 10 am appointment at the spine center (which is today).

We ultimately trust God. Right now, The Warrior is truly a Child. We will love her and support her through this. What we will NOT do is belabor this about her choice, put more guilt on her, or make her feel worse about it than she already does. It is what it is. She is a responsible young lady, and God will pull her through this.

We appreciate the love, support and prayers to those who have expressed caring thoughts on our Facebook or by phone. I'll update tomorrow afternoon. It may be later in the afternoon before I get a chance to. My apologies for not getting all of our family informed. I'll try to make calls tomorrow afternoon. Today has been a crazy day...and now I'm off to bed!

End Times?

2010-08-15T10:48:00.001-07:00

This week a man, Walid Shoebat came to speak at our church. He is an ex PLO terrorist, and is now a christian serving the Lord. His calling is to bring forth truth of God's word, and parallel God's word with what Islam/muslim religion believes to be true. Since he was muslim himself, he has knowledge first hand about it.

Here is his website: www.shoebat.com and at the end of this blog post is a video about a book he has written that puts God's word side by side with what the muslim religion believes to be true.

He was so interesting to listen to, and wow did he EXHORT christians to KNOW and LIVE the word of God without compromise! So many christian churches are only telling parts of the story of the Bible, and never go deeper in the truth. It is so important that we have personal study of God's word.

Hosea 4:6-8(New International Version)

6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.
"Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also reject you as my priests;
because you have ignored the law of your God,
I also will ignore your children.

7 The more the priests increased,
the more they sinned against me;
they exchanged their Glory for something disgraceful.

8 They feed on the sins of my people
and relish their wickedness.

Luke 21:7-29 (New International Version)

7"Teacher," they asked, "when will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are about to take place?"

8He (Jesus) replied: "Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and, 'The time is near.' Do not follow them. 9When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away."

10Then he said to them: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. 11There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.

12"But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you. They will deliver you to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. 13This will result in your being witnesses to them. 14But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. 16You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. 17All men will hate you because of me. 18But not a hair of your head will perish. 19By standing firm you will gain life.

20"When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. 21Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city. 22For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written. 23How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! There will be great distress in the land and wrath against this people. 24They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.

25"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. 26Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. 27At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."

Coffee with Jesus

2010-08-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

How true is this?

Lord Remind Us...

2010-08-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

It will not be...

Unredeemed - Selah

The cruelest world
The coldest heart
The deepest wound
The endless dark
The lonely ache
The burning tears
The bitter nights
The wasted years

Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

For every choice that led to shame
And all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
And every lie that gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But you never know the miracle the Father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

This Brought Tears...

2010-07-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

I don't usually blog twice in one day. This brought tears and thought I would share...

Out of all the blogs on my "blog-roll", this is the one I frequent most. It is called, "Holy Experience" and it is beautiful! I learned about it through a friend named Kelly, and it has been such a blessing/inspiration to me.

This particular blogpost for some reason just really got to me. Guess because I remember growing up in the country. My father was a citrus grower, and one thing that I loved was being outside; Smelling the scent of the orange blossoms, and running free. I remember my grandfather, who was also a citrus grower, he actually taught me how to drive a car in the groves (his International Scout vehicle). I would ride with him to check on the citrus, and was pretty much his little sidekick.

Such fond memories of my grandparents and I miss them so much!

Hope you enjoy this blog post: Click Here for Holy Experience by Ann Voskamp

To truly appreciate the beauty of the earth brings such sweetness to life!

Gaming to Success; Summertime

2010-07-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

Interesting article on gaming: Click Here to read How Playing Video Games Can Boost Your Career

Speaking from our own personal experience...since our son has been gaming in between his lessons, and doing the interactive Modern Warfare, he has definitely improved in his reasoning/strategic thinking, and in the area of becoming more persistent with not giving up (all of this in positive ways).

We are thankful we listened to our Dr. who suggested to have him game in between broken up shorter lessons. It is said to help tremendously with the adhd (if done in the right manner). Our family has found this to be true. Gaming and playing drums have been positive activities in his life. As in all things, moderation is the key.

Over the summer break our son has been pulled way into gaming a little too much (so must the other guys he is playing with as they are on there playing too haha ;) and having such a great time with his cousin back home and friends from back home, and even new friends here where we live now. We have to keep it in check, like anything else. Mostly been in the evenings or late night. Whereas daughter and I have been more pulled into renting movies or watching the History channel in the evenings...or in her case the disney channel. One movie we both LOVED was The Young Victoria.

Concerning music...We are SO thankful for our son's drum instructor who is also our daughter's guitar instructor (oh and my piano coach for chords)...he has been such a positive roll model in the lives of our children and family. Last Tues he even worked with our niece while she was visiting with us. Thanks so much Chris L.!! Chris, you'll be happy to know that our whole family played "O Taste and See" together as a family. :) We had some awesome worship on our living room yesterday!

Summertime schooling: We usually school through the summer, but this month have taken a more relaxed approach. We have had family visit from out of town and friends from back home...and we are just enjoying sweet time together.

We are still schooling some throughout the summer, and starting back next week with a tighter summer schedule. So all of our late night habits will be slowly ceasing. This past week we have all been in bed by 11pm, which is a good start for us. haha. Each week we have been getting to bed earlier and adding something more academically into our normal routine of Bible Study and regular reading schedule.

This week son and daughter read the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and both are listening to 20,000 Leagues under the Sea on audio books. Daughter recently asked to read Romeo and Juliet, so Friday I requested to have this book transferred to our local library branch (our branch only had it on audio). There are so many books on audio now via the online library...wow! I've even been able to find classic literature books on the online audio vs NOT being able to find the actual book in the library.

Our girl prefers to read "actual books", whereas our son prefers audio. He does also read in "actual books", but retains more through audio books.

Can't remember if I mentioned it, but our church is fasting TV the whole month of August. Our pastor presented this to our church congregation recently, and our family is going to participate by shutting the TV off for the month of August. Which we are excited about doing as a family...well, Husband and I are excited about it. Our children are not as thrilled, however they are both in agreement and willing to do this with us. It will be great to do as a family.

We are also NOT supposed to use other electronic things to fill our time. So, as a family we are also going to have to keep tight limitations on the gaming and computer. Husband and I both use our computers for business and all of us for learning. I'm on here a LOT studying and reading about photography or editing photos. However, I am taking a break from Facebook. Only going to check it once a week for customers who may be requesting about photography, or to upload photos for clients who want a few prints on FB. Other than that, I'm taking a huge break from it. In turn going to spend even more serious one on one time with the Lord and in Bible study. I've also got about 3 books I'd like to finish (spiritually uplifting books).

Hope everyone is having a fun summer. We have been trying to swim and go to the beach as often as possibly. Yet we've had so much extreme heat where we live, that we have to swim either early in the morning or late in the evening. I can't tolerate the 99-108 degree heat. Last night we went late in the evening to swim, and it was much milder. Many others had that same idea as well. ;)

With the summertime we have left, we plan to make as many day trips to the beach as possible (any of my friends who want to go during the week, just call or email me). It just doesn't seem as hot at the beach for some reason. Perhaps it is the wonderful breeze, and the sounds of the ocean that gives me a cooler impression. Either way, the summer seems to be flying by so quickly!!!

Interesting...

2010-07-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should invest in an iphone and a few $50 floodlights from Lowe's. ;)

Goes to show...we don't need fancy equipment to make quality images. Only need to know how to work the light. :D

Love this!

I Can't Believe It, 19 Years!

2010-07-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

Wow...we are moving toward the Silver Anni!

I'm posting this today, because we are actually celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary tonight. The actually day is tomorrow though. But WHOA, as I type this, I can hardly believe it!!!

Tomorrow we will have been married 19 yrs. Wow, I realized so recently how our nieces and nephew were getting so grown up!!! No to mention our own children as well!

Our oldest niece Kathryn was only about 6 weeks old when we were married in Lakeland, FL at Victory Church!

God has done such amazing things at Victory Church. It has grown by leaps and bounds since we were members there!!! We moved to NC not too many months after we were married. The building we were married in (which was their main sanctuary at the time), is now the youth and children's building. They've also built an actual wedding chapel since we were there.

It is so great to see how God has increased their territory. We miss the Blackburn family so much, and the Jasso family as well. The really neat thing...the pastor who was my youth pastor at a different church (and who did the communion part of our ceremony), is now the associate pastor at Victory Church. So, when we go home to visit Victory, we get to see all of these special people at one time!

Wedding photography has come a long way since this photo was taken. :)

Our life has been a journey of healing, joy, sorry, pain, and most of all love...the love of God working on our lives. With God, we have certainly lived out: to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, to love and to cherish, in sadness and in joy...and I pray we will have many many MANY more years together before we get to the final chapter here on this earth. He makes life on this earth so sweet and special.

I love you my handsome Rev. Poohbear!!!

I Love You ~ Misty Edwards

2010-06-30T20:53:00.001-07:00

Awesome...

She is from our area of eastern NC, and is a worship leader at the IHOP.

Why Most Shampoos are a Waste of Money

2010-06-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

Interesting...

Click Here to read the article

Nana's Flowers

2010-06-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Recently when we were home, our son learned to mow on his Gaga's John Deere.

Afterwards I stopped and smelled the roses...I mean...hydrangeas...and a few others I have no idea what they are. ;)

Oil on Destin, FL Beaches

2010-06-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is so disturbing....

This is such a beautiful beach, and I so hate seeing this beautiful white sand covered with oil blobs!

God YOU Reign!

2010-06-20T11:41:00.001-07:00

Today is the Day!

2010-06-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Matthew 6:24-25 (NIV) "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

The Power of Words

2010-06-19T19:33:00.000-07:00

A careless word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life.
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill.
A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.

Author Unknown

Taken from the book 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue

Speak Out

2010-06-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

Victims...speak out, no matter what level of abuse...don't keep it inside because you are not alone in your pain.

Click here for her website: JusticeForJennifer

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Amazing Grace-Pastor Cliff Black

2010-06-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

Here is the testimony of our pastor back from our church back home. He is an Ex-Hell's Angel, and has an amazing testimony! Hope you will take the time to listen:

Click here for Amazing Grace

15 Cellulite Fighting Foods

2010-06-06T17:14:00.000-07:00

So, from time to time I come across articles that are interesting and helpful. Here's one I read on combating cellulite. Click here for the complete article on 15 best foods that combat cellulite.

For those who don't have time to read the whole article, here is the short list of best foods to eat that are beneficial in combatting cellulite. :)

Get your....WATER
Celery
Cucumber
Grapes
Watermelon
Apples

Get your....VITAMIN C
Tomatoes
Kiwifruit
Oranges
Papaya
Red bell peppers

Get your...WHOLE GRAINS
Brown rice
Bulghur
Oatmeal
Quinoa
Popcorn

Choral Recital Spring 2010

2010-06-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

Our daughter had her spring choral recital last night with the School of Song, under the instruction of Barbara Harper Boudreaux. We traveled about 1 hr to the South Lenoir High School auditorium in Deep Run, NC. It was a very nice auditorium, and the children did a wonderful job!

There are three different age groups:
Beginners: Ages 5-8
Intermediate: Ages 9-12
Advanced: Ages 13-18

The selection that our daughter's group sang:
Oye la Musica...............................Jay Althouse
Gaudeamus Hodie........................Natalie Sleeth/Arr. Carl Strommen
A Joyful Song................................Mary Lynn Lightfoot
She Sings......................................Amy Feldman Bernon
Riversong.....................................Roger Emerson

Our favorite was She Sings. It is so beautiful!!

Here are a few snaps....

Jordan's friend from her choral group:

The cutest thing was these three children in the younger group. These boys kept aggravating this little girl. I don't know if it was a brother, sister, and friend...but they stole that part of the show....

Daddy pics...

Change

2010-06-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a girl just needs a lift. Sometimes a girl just needs a change.

I decided to go blondie. It has been yrs since I've had blonde hair. I like it a lot, and David loves it. So that is all that matters to me. :)

Those grays were coming through more and more, and not only that...honestly, it was time for a change! It only signifies a LOT of change and "lifting" going on within me. The lifting is not only my hair color, but also I've been receiving a "lifting" spiritually. The dead places in my soul are becoming more alive by the power of Christ. Which, has nothing to do with my hair at all. :)

Changes that I welcome, and changes that are only about me and between me and the Lord. He's an awesome God!

So here's the pic of the blondie...

The boy is in the back seat giving the "thumbs up". It appears he is eating his fist though. haha!

Baptism in the Holy Spirit: Sermon Notes from Pastor Tankard's Message

2010-05-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

After a Sunday morning service, I love to look back over my notes and study them again. Also, look up scriptures that were referenced, and take them in deeper. When I write them, read them, and type them out again, it really helps me remember them better. :D

The past two Sundays, the sermon has been on the teaching of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Many churches of today do not believe that those gifts are for today. We believe they are.

Here are a few of my sermon notes from this morning...sort of randomly written. :)

We are not filled "with" the Holy Spirit, we are filled "in" the Holy Spirit.

Evidence of second baptism in the Holy Spirit is 1) Speaking in tongues, 2) Prophesying.

Mark 16:17 (New International Version)

17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues;

Pride will keep us from all God has for us.

1 Corinthians 2:14 (New International Version)

14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

What people do not understand, they automatically reject. Human reasoning will keep us from all God has for us.

Don't be afraid of the Holy Ghost. Allow Him to baptize you...baptism in the Holy Spirit. Why would we not want more of God in our lives?

Pastor used visual pictures for us.

- Salvation/Water Baptism: the empty glass of our lives is fill with fresh water. We are saved, we have the Holy Spirit too. We become "candidates" to received the gifts of the Holy Spirit...infilling.
- Baptism in the Holy Spirit: is like taking the full glass, and putting it inside of a huge basin full of water. We are then completely immersed, saturated, surrounded...inside, outside, the way we see things...every way we move and breath is "in" the Holy Spirit. There is evidence. Like the wind...we cannot see it, but we can see and feel the evidence that wind has moved. Evidence of the baptism in the Holy Spirit in our lives (the second baptism experience for believers): speaking in tongues and prophesying.

We need the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, for the transformation of us, and for power in ministry. Our lifestyle should be a supernatural lifestyle, in words and in deeds. Supernatural is not in our own power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit working through us. The Holy Spirit will give us words at the right time...spirit led words, when we rely on HIM and not ourselves.

Acts 8:12-19 (New International Version)

12 But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. 13Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw.

14When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them. 15When they arrived, they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, 16because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them; they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. 17Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit. (two separate experiences)

18When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles' hands, he offered them money 19and said, "Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit."

We need the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and we need the power of the Holy Spirit because we as humans in our own strength have a problem...the tongue.

James 3:8 (New International Version)

8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Life and death is in the power of the tongue. James 4:3

The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness: Romans 8:26-27 (New International Version) 26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Praying in the Holy Spirit: Romans 8:25-27 (New International Version) 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Here are a few more scriptures of reference. I love God's word!

Acts 2:38-39 (New International Version)

38Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call."

Galatians 3:2-5 (New International Version)

2I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? 5Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?

Galatians 3:14 (New International Version)

14He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.

Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)

6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

6 Steps to being filled in the Holy Spirit

1. Repent, confess your sin, believe and receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord.
2. Water Baptism
3. Hunger and Thirst for more of God Matt 5:6, Luke 1:53
4. Ask-It is scriptural to ask for spiritual gifts. Luke 11:13 (New International Version) 13If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
5. Drink into your life the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit cannot be taken passively, we must be "open" to drinking in more of God.
6. Yielding - Yield our minds, intellect, emotions, and our will. We have to get our mind "right" about it. Romans 6:13 (New International Version) 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.

The Holy Spirit will not hinder, He will only help. God will not give anything that will hurt us.

Enjoy this worship from one of our local worship teams.

<a href="http://622music.bandcamp.com/album/relentless">Blow The Trumpet by 6:22</a>

For the Love Workshop

2010-05-24T16:47:00.001-07:00

There is this amazing workshop for christian photographers called, "For the Love"!

I would LOVE to attend this workshop, because, well, Ginny Corbett is AWESOME!!! Haha..j/k j/k...

Seriously...well, she is awesome, but anywhooooooooo....

God has called me to two things that I know of in this life (other than being a wife, mother, and homeschooling mom)...to lead worship in song, and to do photography.

The reason I am interested in the "For the Love" workshop is because it is the best of both worlds! Women from all over have an opportunity to attend this awesome time of soaking in worship with the Lord and with other ladies who love photography. Those blessed attenders will also be learning photography skills from some of the best of the best photographers!!! Who wouldn't want to do this???????? Well, I know I would!!!

I'm praying for God to make a way. There is a chance to win a spot, and I'm hoping to win this spot! Next, I'll be praying for a way financially to cover the airfare, and for childcare. Those are two things that God can make a way for! He is God, and can do anything!!! :D

Part of entering the chance to win, is to write this blog stating why I want to attend. Here are the reasons:

- To worship God with everything in me!
- To learn and grow in my artistic abilities, talents and spiritual giftings
- To have a much needed BREAK/time of rest and relaxation time with other artists and believers in Christ!
- To learn all I can so I can use it for God's glory!
- To be brave enough to travel on my own. ;)

That's a WRAP! :) But wait....Click the following to learn more about it: For The Love Workshop for yourself!

He Carries All of My Sorrows; Treasure - Philip and Brenda Janz

2010-05-20T09:03:00.001-07:00

I love these songs!

Great Start; Beautiful Essays

2010-05-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

This morning I pushed through some physical pain to attend a morning worship and prayer time downtown. It is our area "IHOP" experience so to speak. :)

For weeks I've been trying to get there, but with everything we've had going on...and my physical challenges...I've not made this for weeks!! Or, I've made some excuse without even realizing it.

When I walked through the doors, I was greeted by a beautiful sister in Christ, who met me halfway from her spot! It reminded me of the song "When God Ran". How when we move toward God, He moves twice as fast to get to us. So precious how God works through others to demonstrate His love and compassion!

Do you ever have those moments with brothers and sisters in the Lord...where you really didn't have to say a word, because the Holy Spirit already paved the way? That is what this morning was all about. Not only that, but she took time to sit and share...give and take sharing of the things of God, and how He is working things out in each of our lives. She had a word of scripture that was not only for her, but also for me as well.

God is so amazing! He confirmed many things He was already speaking to my heart weeks prior!!

The still quiet of soaking with the Lord, then followed with amazing worship time was just tremendous! Soaking worship that brings such sweet peace and causes every other care and concern (or agenda) to pale. To be with full attention on the Lord and the things of the Lord...so refreshing! So often in my life I've kept too much of my thoughts on situations and people. God is doing a new work in me. He is changing me, and no matter what it takes I pray that He is my everything!

At home I have quiet time alone, but there is something so special about being a room joined with other believers who are unified with like purpose. Who are seeking God with all that is in them! This is where I want to be found...so completely enveloped in the things of God!

David and the children were not able to join me this morning this time, but I hope they will be coming with me the next!

After this wonderful time with the Lord, David the children and I met up together. We then drove together to attend our daughter's last Elegant Essay Writing class. I'm so glad David was able to make it! It was a class of about 12 homeschooling students. This was their final essay, of which they read out loud for the teacher, class and parents.

Our girl wrote about her GaGa. She told some funny stories concerning him, and how he enjoyed making others laugh. (the adults chuckled, but some of the younger ones didn't quite get some of the stories. haha) She received an A, and we are so proud of her!

Here she reading the essay. Her teacher is the lady on the far right in the orange shirt. She was grading them as they spoke:

Our daughter's was a more humorous essay. However, some of the other speeches were so touching and brought tears! They enjoyed having a pizza party together with some great fellowship. We enjoyed seeing and hearing what they learned and how they progressed throughout the past several weeks. Great job guys and gals!

Further From Myself

2010-05-12T02:05:00.000-07:00

A FB friend of mine named Laura shared this with me, and the words are right where I am at!

Amazing how God so speaks to my heart through songs.

It's pressure the pleasures measure
The pressure is overbearing
Is it me myself that's caring
For every double-minded joy
And I admit that when I submit to you
I feel so unreal when I'm still
When I'm waiting for you to reveal
And from myself I seem so far away
And I admit that when I submit to you
I can see all of the selfish things I do

[Chorus]
I'm further, further from myself
When I'm next to you
When I run to you

I was wasted embraced it but faced it
With you inside my heart you replaced it
Can't believe you have erased it
Selfishness and foolish pride
And I admit that when I submit to you
I can see all of the selfish things I do

Further from my future
Further from the past
Further from the starting line
Further from the last
Further from my doubts
Further from my fears
Further from temptation that I faced throughout my years
Further from agitation
Further from distraction
The reaction of the dissatisfaction of others actions
Further from myself
Further from my flesh
Further from my birth and I'm
Further from my death

Christ In Me; The Hope of Glory; Jesus Everything

2010-05-10T14:37:00.001-07:00

Here are a few bullets that really spoke to me from Pastor Tad Tankard's message on Sunday.

-Rahab was a harlot, but she was a woman of FAITH! Rahab's faith changed her vocation from harlot to princess, because she had the courage to change. GOD made Rahab great! She is even named in the geneology of Jesus Christ. The blood of Jesus can change you and me. All it takes is a little bit of faith.

-It takes courage to change. Matt 13:54-58

-People want to label us because of their actions, or because of our actions. Mark 3:21-39

-We don't have to know it all to trust God. It only takes a little bit of faith. Heb 11:31

-Have faith in HIS grace. We are heirs according to HIS promise. Galatians 3:7; 3:29

-Faith comes by hearing. Josh 2:10; 2:9-13

-Faith is always rewarded. Heb 11:6

-Belief is not faith until it is acted upon. James 2:25

-God is calling us to be a Joshua kind of people. A people who walk by faith. Rom 4:16 Faith according to grace 2 Corin 5:7

-Having faith includes being willing to leave it all for God's plans and agenda, not what others think our plans should be. Even Jesus had to leave His hometown for His ministry to flourish...also many others in whom God called.

Genesis 12:1-3 (New International Version)

The Call of Abram

1 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. 2 "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

Matthew 13:54-58 (New International Version)

54Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked. 55"Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't his mother's name Mary, and aren't his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? 56Aren't all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?" 57And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor." 58And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

Matthew 10:34-39 (New International Version)

34"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn "a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - 36a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'[a]

37"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

When I feel I am not worthy or good enough according to the standards of the world, family and/or friends, I remember that I'm more than worthy according to God's standards.

He is all I need, and all you need!

Let Him be everything!!!

Everything by Tim Hughes

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

Learned a New Word; My Book Reads

2010-05-04T06:35:00.001-07:00

So, I learned a new word yesterday. I love learning new things, especially if it concerns christianity, psychology, and the effects of why we people do some of the things we do.

It was so strange, because I wasn't even looking for anything related to this subject, when I came across this new word I had never heard of before. The word is misogynist.

Misogynist basically means "hatred of women, by men". However, I've learned today in studying about it, that it can be women who struggle with hating women as well...or even women who hate men. The main definition is "men who hate women". The meaning is widespread and a bit more complicated.

This morning I've asked myself, "How does this apply to christians"? Well, I came across a book that pertains to this subject, and it is written from a christian perspective. It is very enlightening as well! I'm sure we have all brushed arms with this kind of mentality, or even struggled with it first hand. I'm planning to check for this book in our local library to learn about it, so then I can have more understanding for those who struggle.

The book is titled, Christian Men Who Hate Women: Healing Hurting Relationships. The main thing, is getting to the root of the pain which causes the behavior to develop. Then asking God to heal those parts, and teach us to live according to the TRUTH of the word of God...and not what WE want to make the word of God to say. ;)

Here is a great link that discusses the parts of the book, and also how this can effect relationships:
Christian Men Who Hate Women: Healing Hurting Relationships

Also, I'm finishing up a book titled, Codependent No More. It is a GREAT book that every person on the planet should read! Seriously, EVERYONE has some form of codependency! It varies from person to person, from extreme to mild forms. Mainly, if you have lived with or ever been exposed to in any way, an addict of any kind (alcoholic, drug addict, food addict, gambling addict, any or more of the above of addictions or compulsive behaviors), if you have been a caregiver long term to any of those who struggle with addictions or if you have been a caregiver to those who are mentally or physically sick...or have a natural tendency to be a caregiver, then you may get caught up in codependency. Even the addict, once they recover, can also flip toward codependency.

Soooooooooo...

Yeah, I'm codependent. And probably so are you..heehee. ;) Like I said...we ALL have a level of codependency. It is what it is. Now it is time to see it for what it is, and ask God daily to delivery us from those tendencies to fall into that trap of controlling/obsessing over the lives of others, or trying to gain the approval of others. :)

Here is the book I am currently reading. It is very straight forward, and there is some language and situations that are not for children. However, the book has raw and real situations where people share their stories, and those stories aren't always too pretty either.

The woman who wrote the book is a christian, yet she references many of the "12 step" suggestions that AA and Al Anon use that describe drawing from "your" higher power. So if you are a christian, you fill in the blank there of higher power.

It is a wonderful read. Especially for ministers and those in ministry, or those who are in caregiver types of occupations such as the medical field. These are fields where it is easy to slide into codependency.

If you think you are completely free from any of those tendencies, then good for you! Read it so you can glean a little understanding for others who struggle with addictions or codependency. :D

The book is: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

I've found mine at the local library. Unless you want to "own" a copy, check there first. I have a friend who found a copy on paperback swap. So that is a great idea too. I've used them a lot, and it is a great way to recycle books.

The next book I want to read by this author is: Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time

There is also another book that is great for group studies on the subject, and it approaches codependency from a completely christian perspective. Untangling Relationships: A Christian Perspective on Codependency

You Are Loved

2010-04-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, my very sweet niece put her ipod earbuds to my ears, and played this song for me.

For some reason, I really needed this song today. I loved it then, and especially now! Thanks BabyK

He Had a Headache...

2010-04-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

...or did he cause it to come on himself. Haha!

I had posted these pics on Facebook awhile back, but got to thinking that some of our family and friends who are not on FB may get a kick out of seeing them as well.

Math must have been the culprit to give him the headache. ;)

Don't Need Help, but Beautiful When Someone Comes Alongside Us

2010-04-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

I love this...

Philippians 4:11-12 (The Message)

Content Whatever the Circumstances

10-14 I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Letting Go-I Will Waste My Life

2010-04-27T04:27:00.000-07:00

I've recently come to the realization that sometimes we must let go of things and people we hold in too much high esteem, in order to move forward. This can include family and friends, things that occupy our time, or even material things. We have to be willing to truly let go.

Not that those people won't always hold a special place in our hearts, or those things we do, but I'm talking more of how we hold them in such high esteem...and trying to please them, be accepted by them, and going overboard toward insanity to try to meet their expectations. Too much energy is wasted on the worry over it, when that energy could be focused on the things of God...pleasing HIM.

Our lives have to be about meeting God's expectations FIRST, and pursuing His perfect will for our lives without our compromise OR our subtle manipulation to try to get "our way".

When God is our first priority, we will receive less disappointments and more peace and joy.

Bible verses that we've always quoted without batting and eye such as Matt 6:33 or Romans 8:28 (which are two of my favorites)...become REALITY in these crossroads of life. Or in time of rejection, uncertainty and aloneness. One can be in a home full of family, and still feel very alone.

If we truly put God first above every other care and concern, we don't get caught up in the need for approval or acceptance. God accepts us as we are and gently moves us in the direction He has for us.

I don't know I've just noticed lately that many things, and even people are being stripped away. It could be by their doing (life just gets busy and takes us in different directions) or even by my own huge screw ups, however either way it is ultimately God's doing. He uses ALL things to bring us closer to Him, and the plans He has for our lives is far greater than even our mistakes or shortcomings. I'm not saying they won't ever be brought back into our lives at some point, but for now it is for the best. I'm not going to sit around wasting large amounts of energy on trying to figure it out either.

I'm so glad to have a loving, merciful God in my life. People generally are not quick to forgive, merciful or loving when others screw up. Or when people are different than they want them to be. There are even some people out there who basically cut off others if they don't do what they think is normal or proper behavior, or if they mess up and say things born out of much hurt. They refuse to see the truth of their part in it, or don't even attempt to see through the painful mask. Yet, they expect quick forgiveness and acceptance when they do. Oh yeah, I've been the giver and receiver of these kinds of treatment! Don't think you haven't at some time or another. ;) We all sin and we are all capable of being mean and ruthless.

Not Jesus though, He still loves us no matter how ugly we are, and His grace, mercy and patience with us is so amazing. I can't say that I have much patience toward others either, but He is definitely working on me in this area!

Through being stripped of some relationships with people, it amazes me how God gives back even more meaningful ones. Those who are new, or have been there all along, loving, supporting, and praying for us behind the scenes. Those who do this without needing a pat on the back or expecting one single thing in return! They are just loyal, faithful friends who love Jesus better than they love anything or anyone. They know that we appreciate them because we don't have to write a special note of thanks, it is understood because they know our hearts.

Letting go doesn't mean we will fall away forever (although in some cases that could be necessary). If we are all christians...like it or not, we will all be in heaven together one day. Would be nice if we could learn to truly love one another even through the shortcomings while on this earth.

It is just a matter of keeping things in better perspective. Which is, to fully trust God alone, where before we may have put more trust in man or even ourselves. And haven't we all at times???

God will have no other god's or idols above Him. Which means...if we have idols in our lives, He will remove them...because He loves us that much! We have to release into God's hands.

Today, on from here out, I ask myself, where am I wasting the energy of my thoughts? Am I wasting them for Jesus (which is the BEST way to waste time and thoughts) or am I wasting them on things that only bring more pain and hurt...and lead me astray from the things of God. Where am I wasting my life?

Jesus said that our mother and brothers are those who pursue HIM above all else. The Bible says this

Mark 3:32-35 (New International Version)

³²A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."

³³"Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.

³⁴Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!

³⁵Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."

It isn't God's will according to what others think for you. It is God's will according to His work us, and what the Holy Spirit is speaking to us (through the Holy Bible) to do.

God, I Will Waste My Life for You!

A Good Article on Friendship

2010-04-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Learn How to Keep Friends by Debbie Mandel

As we get older, we find that we have fewer friends. Not because they have died, but because we have let them die in our hearts. We don’t invest the effort, the personal attention, friends require. We collect many acquaintances along the way, but maintain fewer friends. When we were children, making friends was easy and natural. We were emotionally freer then, unafraid to open our hearts and communicate our feelings and needs. We didn’t fear rejection the way we do now. We didn’t keep score regarding who called whom last. We didn’t hold on to argumentative words, but instead forgave readily and completely.

In order to de-stress and experience true happiness we need to connect more deeply with others. Our friends remind us of the song in our hearts when we have forgotten the words. Our friends give us objective advice when we are too close to the big picture. Our friends listen to our troubles without judgment and with great compassion.

However, friendship is not always idyllic. We grow and change; likewise, friends move on. They might speak their truths, often upsetting us unintentionally. To preserve and nurture a special relationship, a friendship that is more positive than negative, requires honest, assertive - but not aggressive- communication. Here’s how to communicate:

Choose the proper time and place for your discussion. If the other person is stressed, or busy, even if you need to vent, control yourself and wait. Timing is everything.
Begin with a neutral topic, something you both agree on. Say something pleasant to your friend. Affirm what he or she does right, even if at the moment this is a big reach for you. No one wants to be pelted with critical remarks.
Avoid judging your friend, or using adjectives that convey criticism. Try to objectively, clinically, and briefly describe the action or words that have upset you. Keep the details concretely to the point. Don’t digress and include past indiscretions.
Express your feelings about what happened. For example, “I felt humiliated when you revealed my secret in public.” “I was sad when you didn’t come help me unpack when I moved into the new place.”
Communicate specifically what it is you want your friend to do, or not to do. No one is a mind reader.
Now that you have cleared the air, let it go. I mean really let it go and make plans to have a good time with your friend.

Slip Slidin' Away...

2010-04-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Ok...you will not believe what just happened to me at the grocery store!! HAHA

This weekend we have stayed in and rested. Our daughter is sick with sinus crud, and I have chest crud and wheezing. So, daughter has a hankering for ice cream b/c her throat is sore. Keep in mind, I had not been up long from an afternoon nap....

I put on my shorts, shirt, flip-flops, and drive to the grocery store. After selecting my cart; I am heading to the wipe-y things to wipe down the cart; I feel something is sliding down the back of my thigh. I look, and it is little portion of something black (I had on dark brown shorts). Not knowing exactly what it was, I tried to tuck it back up into the shorts pant leg.

Then...as I am heading across the floor...with the cashiers doing their whole... "Welcome to _______blahblah" spiel.. the usual "yell to greet" customers.... It happens....

All of the sudden, the black thingy slides down the back of my leg...slip slidin' away...and drops onto the floor. I look down, and low and behold it is a pair of black underwear that got stuck up inside of my shorts (must have been from dryer static)

Anyway, in one panicked swift swoop....I gather up the black "undergarment" and shove it into my purse. All the while HOPING that I won't get "busted" by the camera's, and mgmt thinking that I've shoplifted something!!! How embarrassing would THAT be!!! To be escorted to the back office, questioned... with me saying, "Uh...it was just my underwear officer". :o

Out of my peripheral, I noticed that a few cashiers and those in line were looking right at me.

Ugh, how embarrassing!!! Yet, kinda FUNNY too!! I push onward and into the first isle...ducking into the fruits and veggies. HAHA

Oddly, while I was checking out, the young dude at the register was EXTREMELY kind and overly friendly to me. Hmmmmm....wonder if he saw...I hope not!! lol

Only something like this could happen to ME!!